# Commercials That Suck Ass, Mid-August 2006 Edition **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 13, 2006, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525 "2006-08-13T04:40:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dr.Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dr.Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Love)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/61 "2006-08-14T21:11:59Z")
[QUOTE=hawksgirl] Just out of curiousity, under that would farrowing crates still be allowed, especially toward the end of pregnancy? [/QUOTE] The analysis is (warning: pdf) [here](http://www.azleg.state.az.us/2006_Ballot_Proposition_Analyses/final%20I-07-2006%20Humane%20Treatment%20of%20Farm%20Animals%20Act.pdf). If that doesn’t work, [all analyses are here](http://www.azleg.state.az.us/2006_Ballot_Proposition_Analyses/) There are six exceptions listed, the last one is: “A pig during the seven day period before the pig’s expected date of giving birth.” ---
**Author:** ![Salt\_Seller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Salt\_Seller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salt_Seller)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/62 "2006-08-14T22:56:09Z")
[QUOTE=Phase42] But the commercial I hated the most was the Old Navy commercial that shows people partying on somebody’s front lawn, with confetti, ticker tape, and balloons flying everywhere, and some dweeb who I suppose is supposed to look cool and trendy telling me, “Don’t be an Irwin, be a winner!”. [/QUOTE] Is it just me, or were they trying _really_ hard to find an actor that you were going to confuse with that Topher kid from _That 70’s Show_ the first few times you saw the commercial? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/63 "2006-08-14T23:05:08Z")
[QUOTE=Salt Seller] Is it just me, or were they trying _really_ hard to find an actor that you were going to confuse with that Topher kid from _That 70’s Show_ the first few times you saw the commercial? [/QUOTE] Yes, I have noticed the similarities too. ---
**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/64 "2006-08-14T23:36:04Z")
The latest Oreo commercials that show people licking furiously on an Oreo. I mean, eyyeeeeww gross!!! I’m a mute-a-holic, so I’ve never actually listened to one of these atrocities, but I’m assuming that the people are in some sort of race to (yuck!) be the first to lick their Oreo dry? I think I will NEVER buy or eat another Oreo for as long as I live. The advertiser achieved their goal of making me remember the commercial. But they probably didn’t intend that from now on, every time I see an Oreo I’ll be grossed out and lose all appetite for it. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/65 "2006-08-14T23:37:16Z")
Oohh…I just saw this one: The Volkswagen _Leasefernaughten_ one. Geeez, would I like to pound that smarmy face of his in. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/66 "2006-08-15T01:06:06Z")
[QUOTE=flurb] Exactly what I came in here to mention. Not only this one, but I’ve seen two other in this vein with Burt Bacharach and Little Richard as the “celebrities”. All of whom are looking like death warmed over these days. Did Geico blow so much of their advertising budget on the CGI for the lizard that the only celebrity endorsers they can afford are cast-offs from mid-seventies _Hollywood Squares_ reruns? I expect their next commercial to feature Paul Lynde’s corpse propped up in an armchair next to Marge from Eden Prairie. [/QUOTE] I saw the one with Little Richard. I figured that he must be desperately in need of money. Like how Bill Cosby had to beg his way into those Jello Pudding commercials, because he was flat broke at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/67 "2006-08-15T05:02:01Z")
Oh, here it is. They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets Fuck you, DaimlerChryslerJeepMercedes. Piss poor attempt at appealing to the hip-hop generation, stupid fucking song that sounds like something suits wrote, and last time I looked, New Yorkers are probably less likely to purchase big-assed vehicles like Jeep SUVs because they live in NEW YORK CITY. Bobbleheads are stupid, too. Is this supposed to be the “ethnic” commercial? Because all of the bobbleheads are bobbleheads of color. Which pisses me off even more. They’ve clearly coopted the “Head ON” formula, but executed it poorly and should know better because they can afford to hire an ad agency. This one has me begging for the return of Dr. Z. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/68 "2006-08-15T05:13:17Z")
Oh good Lord. I just IDed the song in the stupid Jeep commercial as “Steady Bounce” by KRS-One. KRS-One, people, one of the all-time greatest MCs and originators of hip-hop! This song sucks. Guess I gotta turn in my ghetto pass now. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/69 "2006-08-15T11:17:19Z")
I usually hate the Orbit gum commercials, but I do like the one with Snoop Dog. He’s talking to a group of school kids - “…and that’s what it’s like to be a gangsta” Cut to a group of middle school kids, looking horrified. Snoop drops through the floor into Hell. The always-annoying “Dirty Mouth” lady shows up and offers him the Orbit gum, and he cleans up his mouth and goes to heaven. What’s funny is the little disclaimer - “Chewing Orbit gum will not actually get you into Heaven” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/70 "2006-08-15T11:48:55Z")
[QUOTE=Hippy Hollow] Oh, here it is. They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets They be bouncing they Jeeps in da New York streets [/QUOTE] At least I know what they’re saying now! All I could figure out on my own was New York streets. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/71 "2006-08-15T21:16:15Z")
Then we have [those commercials](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7935064058166993925&q=commercial) that were bad enough in 1982, but are so much worse now. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/72 "2006-08-15T22:00:45Z")
I’ll flesh out the complaint on the MAC vs PC commercial, the hip young guy being the MAC and the dumpy, dressed-in-business-casual guy being the PC. My annoyance is mostly because PC’s can play music, edit videos, play kick-ass games, etc, etc, etc. just like MACs can. What bothers me is the obvious implication (aka: obvious _lie_) that only Macs can do this. Oh - and my PC hasn’t blue-screened in years. This complaint from a Unix admin that has loved unix and its variants for years and years (OSX, the operating system from Macs is now unix-based for you non-geeks). Besides, I’m dumpy and wear business casual all the time and I’m hip. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/73 "2006-08-15T22:52:14Z")
[QUOTE=Belrix] My annoyance is mostly because PC’s can play music, edit videos, play kick-ass games, etc, etc, etc. just like MACs can. What bothers me is the obvious implication (aka: obvious _lie_) that only Macs can do this. [/QUOTE] Wait, wait wait… they make games for the Mac? I didn’t realize they had made any for that system since Halo… oh… nevermind on that count. (Cheap shot of the day 😛 ) Yeah, with the exception of a BSOD, I’ve had pretty much all the problems with Macs (using OSX) that I’m informed only happen to PCs running Windows. We’re talking about system freezes, data being eaten, compatibility issues, etc. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/74 "2006-08-15T23:46:17Z")
[QUOTE=Dr. Love] If anyone is wondering, 204 is the “Humane Treatment of Farm Animals Act,” that would, “make it a class 1 misdemeanor to tether or confine a pig during pregnancy or a calf raised for veal on a farm for all or the majority of a day in a manner that prevents the animal from lying down and fully extending its limbs or turning around freely.” (From the Arizona Legislative Council analysis) [/QUOTE] We passed something similar by referendum in Florida a few years ago. My brother told his boss, before the election, that if the proposition passed, he was going to try to have himself legally reclassified as a pregnant sow. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/75 "2006-08-16T00:03:48Z")
> [@Belrix](#): > > I’ll flesh out the complaint on the MAC vs PC commercial, the hip young guy being the MAC and the dumpy, dressed-in-business-casual guy being the PC. > > My annoyance is mostly because PC’s can play music, edit videos, play kick-ass games, etc, etc, etc. just like MACs can. What bothers me is the obvious implication (aka: obvious lie) that only Macs can do this. Don’t you know? Only Macs can upload pictures from a digital camera. The cute Japanese chick held hands with the Mac guy, so it must be true! [QUOTE=Broken Wind] The Dunkin’ Donuts one where the Mom/child in the back seat of the mini-van yell “KARATEEEEEEE!” I think it’s for Coolattas or something. Jesus, that annoys the living piss out of me. Fingernails on a chalkboard would be soothing compared to this. [/QUOTE] Oh yeah. I don’t watch much TV, but I’ve seen that one _way_ too many times. It must get heavy rotation during either MLS or the Daily Show. I think it’s for the new Fruit Smoothies as meal substitutes, and showing that “modern moms” are so busy driving around their kids that they don’t even stop to eat, they can just suck their sustenance through a straw. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![shizaru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@shizaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shizaru)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/76 "2006-08-16T05:25:15Z")
I haven’t seen it for a long time, so its probably not aired anymore (I’m in Europe and AFN doesn’t air commercials) but those old hungry man dinner commercials irked the hell out of me. They would show two borderline overweight beefy guys in a gym or doing something “manly” and one would ask what the other had for dinner. The guy would say something like 'Oh, a chef salad and a roll" or something and his friend would say “I had a pound of beef, big honking potatoes and apple pie” (I’m paraphrasing, but you get the idea). Then the salad guy would get knocked over by a feather or the air from a hair dryer or something like that because, you see, he didn’t eat a hungry man Glutton Size meal. So what was the message there? You need to eat like a pig to be real man? If you don’t eat a ton of crappy food every day you’ll be too weak? ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/77 "2006-08-16T06:39:02Z")
[QUOTE=LilyoftheValley] Don’t you know? Only Macs can upload pictures from a digital camera. The cute Japanese chick held hands with the Mac guy, so it must be true! [/QUOTE] _looks both ways, leans forward conspiratorally_ Yaknow… I bet she’s not even Japanese! I bet… she’s an actor! :eek: And **shizaru** while the Hungry Man commercials are silly (though the ones you mention are a lot sillier than the one I saw with the two guys stacking up sand bags during a thunderstorm), those things are PERFECT for college households. Buy one of those suckers and a liter of coke (or a six pack of beer, whatever) and you’ve got a meal for the entire household. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/78 "2006-08-16T13:25:11Z")
Vonage. dumdumdumdumdumdumdumdum whooHOOO HOOO HOO HOOOOOO whooHOOO HOOO HOO HOOOOOO dumdumdumdumdumdumdumdum whooHOOO HOOO HOO HOOOOOO whooHOOO HOOO HOO HOOOOOO GAH MAKE THE NOISE STOP. KILL IT!!! _blam blam blam blam blam blam clickclickclickclick blamblamblamblam_ _men in white coats haul Slortar off to be treated_ ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/79 "2006-08-16T15:31:34Z")
[QUOTE=Raguleader] Wait, wait wait… they make games for the Mac? [/QUOTE] Yeah, there’s… …uhhh… …no - wait that’s X-Box… …umm. Drawing a blank here. Castlevania? ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525/80 "2006-08-16T15:59:54Z")
I actually like the Dr. Scholls commercials. “I’m so happy my eyes are wellin’!” I guess I’m just a sucker for cheesy puns. The ones I can’t stand are TNT’s commercials promoting their new original shows as if they were the most important cultural events of the decade. “_The Closer_ is the biggest hit in television history!” “_Saved_ has elevated the human species and remade our understanding of what art can be!” Calm down guys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-suck-ass-mid-august-2006-edition/368525.md?page=5)