# Commercials that think you're an idiot **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 3, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494 "2013-07-03T00:13:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/1 "2013-07-03T00:13:13Z")
You could go for the low-hanging fruit of 30 minute commercial/talkshow/newcasts and say 1. Do they really expect me to think this is a talkshow? 2. Do they really think I need to buy THAT? But I saw one that actually insulted me even though I suspect 95% of non-SD Americans would have no problems with. Some lady owns a chocolate company or uses chocolate or something and they show her down at the cocoa plantation inspecting the cocoa. Besides taking on a Paula Deen vibe :eek: she takes a seed out of the freshly cut open pod and pops it in her mouth and says how good it is. Except a cocoa seed before processing is basically inedible from the bitterness. So what commercial have you seen where you seriously thought that the advertiser though you had ODed on idiot pills? And as you can see from my example that it doesn’t have to be based on common knowledge or even anything that anyone else cares about so if you pissed at a commercial where they used the KX-483 heisenfram resonator when OBVIOUSLY they should have been using the KX-484 model on that particular motorhome then by all means have at it. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/2 "2013-07-03T00:25:59Z")
The radio newscast ones are especially bad. “So, it says here that gold is at an all time high but the Dorkspit Mint is offering a special price for new buyers! I have the number here somewhere _rustles paper_ Oh, here it is. You can get this offer by calling…” Always with the rustling paper. Yeah, that’s what made me think my drive time show was actually interrupted by a special newscast about coins from the Dorkspit Mint. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/3 "2013-07-03T00:47:37Z")
any of those spots offering those “gold” coins for $30 or $50 which are only clad with a few mg of gold, which I worked out to be about $0.70 worth. any damn infomercial which makes it seem like people can’t do mundane tasks such as folding a T-shirt without suffering life-threatening injuries. any of those damned radio spots advertising mortgages or some other shit where they have the “president” or “CEO” making a pitch which has been run through a filter to sound like he’s on the phone. Yeah, like we’re supposed to believe he’s _so goddamned busy_ writing loans that he has to call it in. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/4 "2013-07-03T00:52:28Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > any damn infomercial which makes it seem like people can’t do mundane tasks such as folding a T-shirt without suffering life-threatening injuries. [“Tired of stabbing your brain with Q-Tips?..”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htbo1yW6qeU) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/5 "2013-07-03T01:16:45Z")
“He (she, I, they, it) ate the bones!” ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/6 "2013-07-03T01:24:39Z")
A local car dealer has been running radio ads where he’s offering deals on trade-ins where he says something like “we need cars so badly that we’ll offer you blah blah blah…”. You don’t need cars you dishonest so-and-so. You’re offering a transaction where a person drives in with one car and drives off with another, how would that help with a car shortage? This same guy also says, “I believe everyone deserves to be driving a brand new car”. Really? Then what’s your plan for all of those trade-ins you need so desperately? Are you going to try to sell them to people that you believe deserve better? ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/7 "2013-07-03T01:25:47Z")
Does everybody get the local commercials for dental practices, in which a ‘talk show host’ seated in a typical ‘talk show set’ with some dental dude, and starts the commercial by saying “Welcome back. With us today is Doctor CheapVeneers…” Yes. It’s a 15-second Talk Show, and dental-dude is your guest on today’s 15-second Talk Show, which has a duration of 15 seconds. I believe that. I am calling the number on the screen _right now_. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/8 "2013-07-03T01:30:57Z")
I absolutely love Carls Jr. hamburgers, but their ad campaign for the last several years assumes that all guys are mouth-breathing slobs and brain-dead neanderthals who can’t cook or wipe themselves. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/9 "2013-07-03T01:31:19Z")
“Only \_\_\_ Juice has Phyto-chemicals…” Ok, plant chemicals, I dig it. So? “\_\_\_\_\_ cream has micro particles to ensure a deep, lasting clean…” Ok, the cream has grit that I can’t feel. So? ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/10 "2013-07-03T01:32:41Z")
The Bing commercial where they say something like “more people prefer Bing over Google for the web’s top searches”. Okay, that’s cool, but what about the vast majority of my searches which probably aren’t among “the web’s top searches”"? How do you do with those? And just what the hell does “the web’s top searches” mean anyway? The top 100? The top 2? ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/11 "2013-07-03T01:35:07Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > The Bing commercial where they say something like “more people prefer Bing over Google for the web’s top searches”. > Okay, that’s cool, but what about the vast majority of my searches which probably aren’t among “the web’s top searches”"? **How do you do with those?** \*\*And just what the hell does “the web’s top searches” mean anyway? The top 100? The top 2? \*\* Dunno. Maybe if you searched it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/12 "2013-07-03T02:16:13Z")
I hate the radio commercials that end with a special message from the founder/owner, and his voice sounds like it’s coming through a shoddy telephone. I’m not sure what they’re going for. “Our CEO is so busy he can’t even come down to record his part in the commercial!”, I guess. What I usually think is, “Ah, he’s hiding out in a country with no extradition treaties.” ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/13 "2013-07-03T02:23:24Z")
Any commercial that features a special money-saving deal that expires in exactly _ten minutes!!__Call now!_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/14 "2013-07-03T02:55:22Z")
All of the Windows 7 commercials that had some dolt saying “Windows 7 was my idea”, when their idea was something stupid like “make the internet faster” or “make everything easier”. Like there were some Microsoft engineers somewhere thinking, “let’s make the internet slower and make everything a trying ordeal, I think the customers will like that” only to be dissuaded by thorough market research. And the “Bing is a decision engine” commercials. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/15 "2013-07-03T02:55:48Z")
Any commercial whose primary customers are adults, yet, they still feel the need to use puppets. Like Carfax, for instance. And just the other day I saw a commercial for an investment firm that used a puppet. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/16 "2013-07-03T02:59:54Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Any commercial whose primary customers are adults, yet, they still feel the need to use puppets. I’d buy their shit. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/17 "2013-07-03T03:09:20Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’d buy their shit. Puppet shit? Would that be like, beanbags? ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/18 "2013-07-03T03:10:03Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > Like there were some Microsoft engineers somewhere thinking, “let’s make the internet slower and make everything a trying ordeal, I think the customers will like that” only to be dissuaded by thorough market research. Well…this _is_ Microsoft we’re talking about here. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/19 "2013-07-03T03:50:19Z")
[Allstate “men are better drivers” commercial](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQR8rj2BO-8). It’s a logic disaster. Obviously all of the characters in the commercial are idiots, but do they think that the rest of America has equally bad reasoning skills? It is so bad, it makes me question Allstate’s actuarial department. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494/20 "2013-07-03T05:35:26Z")
That commercial for Axe. All of them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-think-youre-an-idiot/662494.md?page=2)