# Commercials that we can go ahead and retire from television... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455 "2005-07-14T02:32:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/61 "2005-07-17T13:17:54Z")
Duke, the Bush bean secret recipe dog. The gag wasn’t funny the first time, it isn’t funny now dozens of variations later. On behalf of my wife, I nominate the Lamisil commercial where the monster opens up a toenail like a car hood and climbs in. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/62 "2005-07-17T16:38:38Z")
Oh good god, the Lamisil commercial. Every time I start to see “Digger the Dermatophite” I squirm and tuck my toes under themselves and rush to change the channel. Easily the most disturbing image I’ve ever seen. -foxy ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/63 "2005-07-18T17:29:57Z")
Can we retire the International Star Registry ads from the radio, too? [It’s a scam](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_385.html). ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/64 "2005-07-18T19:59:29Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I hate those Pepto Bismol commericals where they’re doing some sort of Macarena dance to Hearburn/Indigestion/Upset Stomach/Diarrhea while grabbing the corresponding part of their body that suffers from that symptom. Ick ick ick. I don’t need to see people grabbing their asses on network tv. At least they didn’t have each dancer specialize in a symptom, though I’m sure they thought about it. They must have realized that no actor would take the part of the Diarrhea Dancer. That’s a typecast that lasts for life. In the hierarchy of commercial characters, the Diarrhea Dancer licks the boots of the Ty-D-Bol Man. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/65 "2005-07-18T21:22:55Z")
> [@Unintentionally Blank](#): > > Jon-friggen-Basedow-and-his-friggen-sixpack-abs. Every commercial break. Every. Single. One. > > Oh, and that’ Subaru Tribeca in your add got beat with an ugly stick. From certain angles, I don’t even think it’s Mother would love it. And what a stupid name…Tribeca’s the last place I imagine anyone needing an SUV (though that’s the manufacturer’s fault, not the fault of the commercial). ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/66 "2005-07-18T22:59:58Z")
This can’t just be local, and how was it not mentioned yet?!? The “Six Flags” guy. The dancing idiot young guy in really lame bald-old-man makeup in big glasses who dances to some miserable effing (went back and edited the obscenity) spew of early 90s club music. I bet I can go to the theme park’s website and find him, probably on the front page… …checking… [Yup](http://sixflags.com/). Just die. ---
**Author:** ![kindaclever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@kindaclever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kindaclever)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/67 "2005-07-18T23:25:56Z")
I feel that Welch’s needs to rid their advertising campaigns of all uber-cute, speech-impediment afflicted children. My Jah! those commercials make my ass twitch. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/68 "2005-07-18T23:52:47Z")
> [@kindaclever](#): > > I feel that Welch’s needs to rid their advertising campaigns of all uber-cute, speech-impediment afflicted children. My Jah! those commercials make my ass twitch. Oh yes! And let’s retire their smug commercials from the radio, too. ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/69 "2005-07-19T00:14:29Z")
Those Huggies commericials with a baby and his/her mother who are advertising some sort of Huggies product. Some random voice actor acts out the voice for the baby. God, I don’t find the voice actors’ voices annoying, but what they say is annoying. “Peekaboopeekaboopeekaboo! Oh, c’mon!” and “Mm-mm, this is the life!” and “Now, for my finale, I shall rinse!” God…first of all, I can’t stand babies because I don’t see what’s so cute about them. Some are cute, but do we really have to lose our heads and go, “Awwwwwwww” in an obnoxious voice at every baby we see? And then at the end, a bunch of kids in their annoyingly high-pitched, out-of-synch voices yell out, “Hurray for Huggies!” Shut up already. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/70 "2005-07-19T00:22:25Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > I’m pretty sure Watson’s is only in Nashville. I saw her once on a locally produced late-night TV show. There’s also a local motorcycle dealer that runs an ad claiming “our girls are _way_ hotter than that Watson’s chick!” Actually, we have a Watson’s in Kansas City. I think they’re a chain. Anyway, I’d like to nominate the Herbal Essence commercials where the women wash their hair and get orgasms. Weird and inappropriate. Also, any ad for a burger place where people eat disgustingly. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/71 "2005-07-19T05:50:26Z")
There’s a local titty bar that uses really bad impressions of famous people in their radio ads. Apparently, they’re trying to convey that the place is a “high class” establishment. C’mon, it’s a **titty bar!** Putting someone doing a bad Ozzy Osborne in your commercial, doesn’t make me think that it’s a classy place. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/72 "2005-07-19T06:52:30Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > I don’t know how many places have these, but I despise the Watkins Pool commercials. I especially despise the Watkins girl. She’s somewhat attractive but her voice fucking grates on me. Hey I thought that was just in Memphis. My ex worked for Watsons and said she was not a very nice person. Well he used much harsher words. I can’t stand the commercials either. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/73 "2005-07-19T08:07:20Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > I’m pretty sure Watson’s is only in Nashville. Funny how we’re all going, “I know this is just a local thing, but…” FTR, Watson’s just invaded the South Texas market; they had a total marketing blitz for months before the store opened, and we are all now intimately acquainted with the Watson’s Girl. So one day last month my car and I were overheating at five thirty in the afternoon and I drove past a Watson’s and thought, “Hey, they’re probably air-conditioned, I’ll check it out…” Dude. Hot tubs and overpriced patio furniture. THAT’S IT. Screw that. I was looking for foosball tables, b/c hell, they sell “entertainment equipment…” Nope. No foosball tables. Screw Watson’s and the girl they rode in on. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/74 "2005-07-19T08:40:29Z")
I forgot the commercial I hate more than anything…I know there was a thread specifically about it but pardon me if I have to mention it again… THE COMMERCIAL FOR THE TOENAIL FUNGUS! Can’t remember the brand-name of the product but it’s the commercial where the little animated “animal” lifts up the nail on the big toe and dives into it, and it looks like this desert where he’s digging in the ground and looking all evil and happy… I cannot watch this commercial. It grosses me out in ways I cannot describe. Anything having to do with nails being removed from their nail beds is appalling enough to begin with…and let’s not mention the little animated Digger guy who looks like he was burped from the depths of hell… Can’t do it. I don’t care what the program is. I change the channel. Ye gods. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/75 "2005-07-19T09:51:55Z")
Honey Bunches of Oats: “Are you HUNGRY??” I want to kill her with my bare hands. I actually wrote to the company and complained. Seriously. Ditech commericals. Those horrible, ancient MasterCard “Priceless” commercials. Obviously, they haven’t hired a new ad rep in seven years. The idiot dancer in the WellPatch commercials. Just. Horrible. You folks who say you don’t like the annoying boss in the Burger King commercials, don’t you mean the boss in the Jack in the Box commercials? Isn’t he the one who chews out the guy for offering him a donut? You know, the guy with the big round head? _snicker_ The Burger King commercials freak me out, what with that weird man wearing that plastic mask standing in front of people’s windows. Creepy. The “Dibs” commercial Saturn is running every ten minutes during the daytime. I can’t WAIT for its compaign to end. Oxyclean. Why do advertisers think shouting will make us buy their products? I agree with the person who voted for the offkey Oscar Meyer commercials. That company used to have such cute commercials, too. And yeah, no self-respecting kid thinks for a second that those McDonald’s ads are “rap.” Please McDonald’s, just give up. Ok? Kibbles and Bits with the dancing dog. It freaks me out. That horrible animated child in the Quiznos commercials. I have many, many more. Thanks for listening. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/76 "2005-07-19T11:03:37Z")
Not sure how international this one is, but it’s for [Clairol Herbal Essences](http://www.herbal-essences.co.uk/) shampoos; a series of adverts showing women showering, washing their hair and making (stereotypical) orgasm sounds (oh, oh, oh, ohhh, ohhh, Yes, Yes, YES!!); to hammer the point home, the slogan will usually be about ‘having an _ **organic** _ experience’. Meh. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/77 "2005-07-19T11:42:57Z")
Ha. Reminds me of an old ad for a van, I believe a Chevy Lumina, in which an actress playing a mother rhapsodizes wistfully into the camera, “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” She’s talking about a van! And she is a mother, so she clearly has children. But the _van_ is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Not that _I_ think her children are beautiful, but shouldn’t she? Or a sunset, or a field of flowers, or whatever. But a van? ---
**Author:** ![big\_dogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f1d935/32.png) [@big\_dogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/big_dogs)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/78 "2005-07-19T12:53:16Z")
Thought of another one. And actually this idea has been used for pizza, cereal, tortilla chips, crackers, chocolate, etc… People sitting at a table eating whatever as we hear the deep voice description of the food and it turns out to be someone at the table doing an “announcer voice”. Someone else says “Knock it off” or “Can we just eat it, please” ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/79 "2005-07-19T14:35:11Z")
The Sonic commercial with the man and woman sharing uncomfortable stereotyped roles with each other. Then the sound of a hard hand slap comes in and the anouncer says the “hook” phrase. I always wonder if they meant to imply that the woman smacked the man upside the head. And why does somebody always yeall “Hit it!” at the end of those Dodge(?) truck commercials? Re: Watson’s Pools - In the KC area the Watson girl got to be somewhat of a celebrity five years ago. A local radio station hosts an “Elvis parade” every August and one year they had the Watson Girl show up and act as Grand Marshall. The paper did a human interest story on her. At the time she was single and got lots of fan letters and marraige proposals. She got a lot of inquiries about whether she and the guy in the ads with her are romantically involved. He is actually her stepfather. He and her mother own the business. I know. It’s way more information than anyone care’s to know about people we find annoying and why did I remember something so trivial and useless and how can I learn to forget this stuff and save room in my brain for useful items like working that i before e rule correctly and not misspelling so many words. I’ll go aawy now. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455/80 "2005-07-19T20:56:31Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Putting someone doing a bad Ozzy Osborne in your commercial, doesn’t make me think that it’s a classy place. Heck, put the _real_ Ozzy Osbourne in your commercial and I won’t think it’s a classy place. Exactly the opposite. In fact, your post is the first time I’ve ever seen the words “Ozzy Osbourne” and “classy” in the same sentence. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-that-we-can-go-ahead-and-retire-from-television/312455.md?page=5)