# Commercials Worth Pissing On, May 2011 Edition **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 19, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406 "2011-05-19T03:14:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Frau\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@Frau\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frau_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/101 "2011-05-25T21:56:13Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Coors, the beer of cheating losers. Truth in advertising? 😃 Pudding face. Gross. Talking Hot Pockets. Causes me to have flashbacks to the bicycle accident that put a big gash in my leg. Toyota brat. Makes me wanna go Highlander on his punk ass. iPad/iPhone/iWhatever music. Tinkly, repetitive, annoying, can’t-hit-mute-fast-enough-will-never-buy-'cause-I-hate-the-ad. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2011, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/102 "2011-05-25T23:13:08Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I find myself completely powerless against turning to the spouse at some point during that commercial and yelling, “Cat shit!” > > He’s used to it, just like I’m used to him saying “15% or moron car insurance” every time the Geico commercial comes on. 😃 They both work so well! ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/103 "2011-05-26T02:45:51Z")
The beer commercials (I think it’s Michelob but I don’t fuckin’ know) for the 64-calorie beer where A) the dude’s doing squats to burn off all the extra calories from his shitty beer, B) the other person in the party gets “64 calories of [insert other drink here]”, or C) the newest one, where the dude gets 64 calories of some martini and starts inserting some shit about “I HAVE BIG HANDS, I’M SO MANLY.” First of all, the last one’s just plain fucking stupid–guys who are so insecure in their masculinity that they can’t even order a damned drink without assigning a gender role to it are fucking tools. Second of all, anyone who gives me “64 calories” of anything is going to end up picking shards of glass out of their eyes. And third of all, if you’re that concerned about calories, YOU SHOULDN’T BE FUCKING DRINKING. Oh, actually, here’s a fourth thing: if the bulk of your advertising campaign is “less calories than other beers!”, then there’s something seriously wrong with your product. Alcoholic drink ads should never have to resort to the “it’s healthy!!” angle. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/104 "2011-05-26T02:47:24Z")
How about this commercial for the Dodge Ram Laramie Longhorn: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cM4RdFWJuQI) How far gone would you have to be to want to play cowboys like that? Also, if you watch closely, you’ll see that the guy has the truck parked in his living room. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/105 "2011-05-26T02:51:50Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > How about this commercial for the Dodge Ram Laramie Longhorn: > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cM4RdFWJuQI&feature=player\_embedded](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cM4RdFWJuQI&feature=player_embedded) > > How far gone would you have to be to want to play cowboys like that? Also, if you watch closely, you’ll see that the guy has the truck parked in his living room. Unless that’s actually the garage. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/106 "2011-05-26T02:54:43Z")
I just saw one for Vagisil, which. lets face it, there’s no way to make a commercial for \*that product \* that doesn’t bring unpleasant visions to mind. In this one, the sufferer is a bride on her wedding day:eek: It made me think of that wedding scene in “Sixteen Candles” where the church overhears the mother saying the bride has her period and the snarky little brother says “should make for an interesting honeymoon”. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/107 "2011-05-26T03:02:52Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Unless that’s actually the garage. In that case his garage has a fireplace, a couple of easy chairs, and a table lamp in it, as well as some artwork on the walls. ETA: Oh yeah, and a truck that is tricked out to look like saddle leather so he can pretend he’s riding a horsey, just like a for real cowboy. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/108 "2011-05-26T11:18:12Z")
Another one: the “Zyrtec makes you talk to inanimate objects” genre. (If the inanimate objects talk back, consult your physician. If the inanimate objects tell you to start cleaning the guns, consult your psychiatrist.) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/109 "2011-05-26T11:35:40Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > In that case his garage has a fireplace, a couple of easy chairs, and a table lamp in it, as well as some artwork on the walls. > > ETA: Oh yeah, and a truck that is tricked out to look like saddle leather so he can pretend he’s riding a horsey, just like a for real cowboy. And I can see some crazy, rich Texan building a garage like that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/110 "2011-05-26T12:36:08Z")
I hate the insurance commercials (sorry, don’t know the company) that show some person out in public being obnoxiously, outrageously happy…shrieking, whooping, dancing…while other people shy away warily. Then there is a black screen with the words, “five minutes ago”. Then you see obnoxious person on the phone, saying, “I can save _how much_ on my car insurance?” The only saving grace of these commercials is that in the version with the female, during the phone scene, the world’s ugliest lamp is visible on a table behind her. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/111 "2011-05-26T13:49:55Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > These people never heard of Rule 34? > > 1. The commercials for BeenParanoid – er, BeenVerified – that warn you that anybody you don’t know personally is probably a neo-Nazi al-Qaeda rapist axe murderer. Holy crap in a sidecar, I want to punch the “nobody comes around \*my \*growing family without a background check” bitch right in the throat. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/112 "2011-05-26T14:23:31Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > Holy crap in a sidecar, I want to punch the “nobody comes around \*my \*growing family without a background check” bitch right in the throat. You, but you’d have to get a background check first to get close enough. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/113 "2011-05-26T16:04:09Z")
> [@Skara\_Brae](#): > > Here, here! I hate that smug little kid too. (He also is in dire need of a haircut). > > God forbid you have to talk to your parents/children while in the car. I don’t know how I survived all those family trips growing up! This is the one I came in to mention, but I see others have got there first. that kid is such a snot, and the message he’s pushing is “you have to have good stuff to be cool, the more stuff the better” ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/114 "2011-05-26T18:44:26Z")
> [@Maiira](#): > > The beer commercials (I think it’s Michelob but I don’t fuckin’ know) for the 64-calorie beer where A) the dude’s doing squats to burn off all the extra calories from his shitty beer, B) the other person in the party gets “64 calories of [insert other drink here]”, or C) the newest one, where the dude gets 64 calories of some martini and starts inserting some shit about “I HAVE BIG HANDS, I’M SO MANLY.” > > First of all, the last one’s just plain fucking stupid–guys who are so insecure in their masculinity that they can’t even order a damned drink without assigning a gender role to it are fucking tools. Second of all, anyone who gives me “64 calories” of anything is going to end up picking shards of glass out of their eyes. And third of all, if you’re that concerned about calories, YOU SHOULDN’T BE FUCKING DRINKING. > > Oh, actually, here’s a fourth thing: if the bulk of your advertising campaign is “less calories than other beers!”, then there’s something seriously wrong with your product. Alcoholic drink ads should never have to resort to the “it’s healthy!!” angle. I would also imagine that you need to drink 3 of the mollyfocking 64 calorie “beers” to equal the alcohol contained in 1 regular beer, so if you enjoy the effects of alcohol (and not just the taste of shitty, mass produced, EXTREMELY watered down beer) you will be drinking 3X the volume of liquid for the same buzz, and paying 3X as much for the privilege… ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/115 "2011-05-29T14:38:30Z")
I really HATE the V8 Fusion ad that says something like, “Do you ever wish vegetables didn’t taste quite so ‘vegetably?’” and shows this guy dipping broccoli into dip and licking it off. He has several florets on his plate that he’s already licked. Grrross! Look, you nasty a-hole, if you don’t like broccoli, DON’T PUT IT ON YOUR PLATE. You ain’t foolin’ anyone with your plateful of soggy, spitty greens–but you ARE certain to remain dateless for the rest of your days, Saliva Boy. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/116 "2011-05-29T14:44:22Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > I would also imagine that you need to drink 3 of the mollyfocking 64 calorie “beers” to equal the alcohol contained in 1 regular beer, so if you enjoy the effects of alcohol (and not just the taste of shitty, mass produced, EXTREMELY watered down beer) you will be drinking 3X the volume of liquid for the same buzz, and paying 3X as much for the privilege… Miller Genuine Draft 4.7% Miller Genuine Draft 64 (MGD 64) 2.8% Miller Genuine Draft Light 4.2% [From here.](http://www.alcoholcontents.com/beer/beer.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/117 "2011-05-29T15:30:23Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > I really HATE the V8 Fusion ad that says something like, “Do you ever wish vegetables didn’t taste quite so ‘vegetably?’” and shows this guy dipping broccoli into dip and licking it off. He has several florets on his plate that he’s already licked. Grrross! Look, you nasty a-hole, if you don’t like broccoli, DON’T PUT IT ON YOUR PLATE. You ain’t foolin’ anyone with your plateful of soggy, spitty greens–but you ARE certain to remain dateless for the rest of your days, Saliva Boy. Why are you obsessed with what is on someone else’s plate? It’s not like you have to eat it, or he was double-dipping; the dip IS ON HIS PLATE. I may not like the way you chew your food, or pronounce ‘potato’, but that doesn’t justify pretending like it is a hideous social faux pas. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/118 "2011-05-29T16:08:49Z")
There’s a new one where this couple screams at the top of their lungs for like 10 seconds (no idea what they are selling). At least it gives my mute button reflexes a new kind of workout. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/119 "2011-05-29T16:59:50Z")
Sweet mother of God, pudding face. Slap some whiteface and lipstick on that guy and he’d look just like the Joker. Also I hate with a hateful hatred those Jello pudding commercials for their “pudding made just for adults” (I mean what the hell, is it made out of booze and Astroglide or something?) where the mother is scaring the shit out of her kids about the beast that kills naughty kids who steal their parents’ sacred pudding… then the “beast” father runs up screaming to just about give them cardiac arrest. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406/120 "2011-05-29T22:19:23Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Why are you obsessed with what is on someone else’s plate? It’s not like you have to eat it, or he was double-dipping; the dip IS ON HIS PLATE. I may not like the way you chew your food, or pronounce ‘potato’, but that doesn’t justify pretending like it is a hideous social faux pas. It wasn’t the double-dipping (which I never mentioned) that was so disgusting. It was his using several pieces of food that he was not eating at all, just to lick the dip from and then placing them–now soggy–on his plate. Why bother? If you want to eat dip, eat dip. Use a spoon. But why have several food items on your plate that you have no intention of eating and being gross with them to boot? YUCK. And if I was chewing my food with my mouth open and slurping my drink, that WOULD be a hideous social faux pas. There ARE standards for public dining behavior, like it or not. Bad table manners are not the same as word pronunciation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-worth-pissing-on-may-2011-edition/582406.md?page=7)