# Commercials you ABSOLUTELY HATE **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 26, 2001, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209 "2001-08-26T18:51:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/161 "2001-11-04T17:24:32Z")
I saw a new commercial last night for one of those toilet bowl fresheners that you clip inside the bowl. The commercial opens with a little girl waiting to use the bathroom. When the bathroom door finally opens, her father emerges with a newspaper tucked under his arm. Oblivious to this warning signal, the little girl heads into the bathroom, only to be confronted by a terrible odor that causes her to pull her shirt up over her nose and adds a continuous “braap braap braap” noise to the bland background music. The little girl then wanders into the kitchen, where she finds that her mother has just returned from grocery shopping. Fortunately, her mom has purchased one of these clip-on-the-rim fresheners, which is quickly installed on the offending toilet. ---
**Author:** ![highjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed8c4c/32.png) [@highjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/highjack)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/162 "2001-11-04T17:26:50Z")
I’m so tired of the “7-Up yours” joke. You can see it a mile away, so it’s like watching a slow motion collision - endlessly long. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/163 "2001-11-04T18:49:02Z")
A new one to add… The new campaign for Pontiac, with the theme “what would you do if someone handed you the keys to a Pontiac?” Shows people parachuting, white-water rafting, going to Las Vegas. Apparently these people were sitting around with their fingers in their ears, with no concept of what to do for fun, wishing someone would grant them free access to a car. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/164 "2001-11-04T19:05:12Z")
Did anyone else catch the Saturday Night Live parody of the orgasmic shampoo commercial last night? It took place in a courtroom, started with the (female) judge doing the standard shampoo orgasm, but then added in shampoo for men, and all of the men starting faking orgasms in a quite non-appealing fashion. It was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Red\_Menace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@The\_Red\_Menace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Red_Menace)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/165 "2001-11-05T04:43:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jsc1953 \* > \*\*A new one to add… > > The new campaign for Pontiac, with the theme “what would you do if someone handed you the keys to a Pontiac?” > > Shows people parachuting, white-water rafting, going to Las Vegas. Apparently these people were sitting around with their fingers in their ears, with no concept of what to do for fun, wishing someone would grant them free access to a car. \*\* Yeah, I’ve really wondered what the deal with those commercials is. As far as I understand it, they don’t keep the car either, they just get it for a week. So Pontiac is doing what exactly that’s making these people so happy? What would I do if somebody gave me the keys to a Pontiac Grand Am? Oh probably about the same thing I do when I get in my own car. I’d probably try to fuck up the transmission maybe. So there you go. I’d try to destroy the car if you gave me the keys to it. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/166 "2001-11-05T05:53:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jsc1953 \* > \*\*A new one to add… > > The new campaign for Pontiac, with the theme “what would you do if someone handed you the keys to a Pontiac?” > > Shows people parachuting, white-water rafting, going to Las Vegas. Apparently these people were sitting around with their fingers in their ears, with no concept of what to do for fun, wishing someone would grant them free access to a car. \*\* Don’t these people have jobs? If they gave me a key to the Pontiac, I’d still need to be at work on Monday morning. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/167 "2001-11-05T06:05:08Z")
That one for Orbit gum they’ve been showing for the past few weeks, with the British woman that looks like a throwback to the 60s (stupid scarf included), and a test subject (chewing the aforementioned gum) who doesn’t lose her cool even when a dog splatters her with mud. The whole spectacle is irritating, unpleasant, and just so STUPID. ---
**Author:** ![Blarg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Blarg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blarg)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/168 "2001-11-05T07:19:15Z")
There was this car commercial (Honda, I think) that used “Who Let The Dogs Out” as the \*song. AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Everytime I hear that \*song, I want to crucify myself! \*\* I use the word ‘song’ very liberally here, as the piece in reference bears very little resemblance to something that has a tune, melody, or rhythm (as one would expect from a song). It’s just a bunch of guys yelling “Who let the dogs out?” at each other in the most annoying imaginable way.\* ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/169 "2001-11-05T16:11:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by amarinth \* > \*\*Don’t these people have jobs? If they gave me a key to the Pontiac, I’d still need to be at work on Monday morning. \*\* I like that…if they gave me the keys to a Pontiac, well, I guess I’d take the Pontiac to work on Monday, instead of the Passat. 🙂 Not exactly a thrilling commercial. ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/170 "2001-11-05T16:53:07Z")
And how can we forget those sappy Mentos commercials? Pretty much any commercial with a jock lumbering thru the lines from the teleprompter. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. Can it core A apple? Yes. It can core A apple. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/171 "2001-11-05T19:53:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Random \* > \*\*I second the DeBeers ads. Very sleek, great production values, but so slimy. \*\* Gotta love one of the recent DeBeer’s ads that now offers online diamond ordering. You can “design the perfect engagement ring”. But it ends with the voice-over saying “You have the rest of your life to design the perfect husband.” How frickin’ sexist is THAT?!? There’s some new commercial out with a woman saying “I love the sound of my laugh.” I start MST3K-ing it by going on, “…and I love looking at my self in the mirror for hours and hours and hours. And I love the way i walk, and the way my hair is always so perfect, and the way my eyes roll around in their sockets with every third syllable that comes out of my mouth.” I’m really not sure about those animated TP ads, mostly because I’m grateful they finally answered the age-old question, “Does a bear shit in the woods?” My mind is till boggling that they took the old “smart-ass comeback to a stupid question” cliche and made an ad campaign out of it. But I will say I like the Amstel Light commercials. Esp. the one showing the brewmasters, where the voice over says, “Sorry. We’re from Sweden. We didn’t know light beer was supposed to suck.” I always fall over laughing over how the shortest brewmaster keeps whacking himself in the forehead. ---
**Author:** ![LittleTigger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/58956e/32.png) [@LittleTigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LittleTigger)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/172 "2001-11-05T21:44:01Z")
Chewing gum ads, beer ads, and weightlosss ads!. America is anorexic enough without the weight loss ads featuring broomstick skeletons boasting about how scrawny they are. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/173 "2001-11-05T23:14:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by amarinth \* > \*\*Don’t these people have jobs? If they gave me a key to the Pontiac, I’d still need to be at work on Monday morning. \*\* I find this commercial mildly amusing. I think it’s because when I hear the question “What would you do if someone gave you the keys to a Pontiac?” The image pops into my head of a shiny new Pontiac flying over a creek. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/174 "2001-11-06T00:34:05Z")
Let’s move this to Cafe Society, o.k.? ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/175 "2001-11-06T00:58:10Z")
All this talk about the Pontiac commercials reminds me of those old (probably 5-7 years ago) A&W commercials, where the A&W bear showed up on a street corner where these people were waiting for the light to change. He then led them to the A&W to eat lunch. These people were just _ecstatic_, as though eating hamburgers for lunch was some sort of dream come true. And the bear just lead them to the restaraunt, he didn’t buy thier food or anything. What the hell were these people so happy about? They couldn’t find the restaraunt by themselves? “Well, Bob, we’re just going to have to stand on this street corner and starve, because I just don’t know how to acquire sustenance. If only some freakish bear would come along and help us!” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/176 "2001-11-06T18:46:43Z")
_The lightning flashes thru the cold rain outside the window of the remote mountain cabin. **Shodan** locks the heavy oaken door on the inside and turns to where the adorable little girl from the **Pepsi** commercial is tied to a chair._ “Teaching someone else to sing, were you?” _he hisses as he places a corkscrew, a sharp knife, the nozzle to an air pump, and a fresh bottle of rubbing alcohol on the table next to her. A silvery string of drool begins its slow way down his chin._ “Don’t worry, honey,” \*he murmurs as he starts towards her. “You’ll be singing from your heart in no time.” \* Pepsi - the choice of a new generation. ---
**Author:** ![ramesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d07c76/32.png) [@ramesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ramesh)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/177 "2001-11-06T20:29:13Z")
the chevy avalanche ad. even a second grade nerd has better imagination. I just want to slap the idiot who came up with this idea. Next I want to stomp the moron who oked this ad. And I will be very happy to wring the neck of the dumb retart actor who goes about changing… ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/178 "2001-11-06T21:30:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Their current promotion is based on a refutation of TANSTAAFL. If you walk into an Arby’s, order a specific lunch, pay for it and say, There’s no such thing as a free lunch, they give you a coupon for another lunch. They say this proves TANSTAAFL is wrong. Well, if Arby’s thinks they can prove me wrong, I’ll let them try! ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/179 "2001-11-07T01:01:15Z")
I second the DeBeers “design your husband” commerical. This commercial doesn’t run much any more. It’s that stupid STARZ! commercial using the melody of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” and the incredibly creative lyrics, “Movies, movies, movies, movies…”. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209/180 "2001-11-07T02:39:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ramesh \* > \*\*the chevy avalanche ad. > > even a second grade nerd has better imagination. I just want to slap the idiot who came up with this idea. Next I want to stomp the moron who oked this ad. And I will be very happy to wring the neck of the dumb retart actor who goes about changing… \*\* In the ‘parking meter’ version, Mr. Smart-Ass-Car-Changer would return to find four very flat tires, with toothpix broke off in the nozzles … change THAT for a buck you weasel! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-absolutely-hate/78209.md?page=10)