# Commercials you hate #31,686 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325 "2011-10-02T03:48:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/181 "2011-11-16T18:33:07Z")
> [@Bilbo1967](#): > > I don’t know if it’s the same in the States, but all perfume adverts are pretentious, pseudo-intellectual claptrap. Generally they are. Actually, I thought that was just an american thing myself. Are your perfumes called something stupid too? Like Small Pox. Or Urban Small Pox, for men and women? ---
**Author:** ![Bilbo1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bilbo1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bilbo1967)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/182 "2011-11-16T18:43:57Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > Generally they are. Actually, I thought that was just an american thing myself. Are your perfumes called something stupid too? Like Small Pox. Or Urban Small Pox, for men and women? Yes. Those that aren’t named after celebrities at least. Who wants to smell like Victoria Beckham? I’d imagine it’s a mixture of fake tan spray and lettuce. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/183 "2011-11-16T23:46:56Z")
Just saw that Ebay commercial with the obnoxious bratty teenager singing her complaints about last year’s gifts and listing her demands for this year. If I were Aunt Helen, I’d stuff that needlepoint right down the thankless little bitch’s throat. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/184 "2011-11-17T23:40:10Z")
Or the toilet paper company trying to create a market for their new, totally pretentious and completely idiodic toilet paper covers. “Respect the roll.” Respect the roll? Really? By putting it in a plastic bucket with a lid? It’s friggin’ toilet paper, not the Declaration of Independence. And then there’s Charmin and “We all do it. Enjoy the go.” _Enjoy_ the dump. Enjoy the shit. Enjoy the wiping of your ass. You know, I would _like_ to enjoy the wiping, or at least not hate it so much. Getting your anus chafed raw is **not** a pleasant experience. But as a slogan? Gah! I’d rather watch the bears wipe their ass and pass “inspection” than listen to that slogan. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/185 "2011-11-18T00:16:11Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Or the toilet paper company trying to create a market for their new, totally pretentious and completely idiodic toilet paper covers. “Respect the roll.” Respect the roll? Really? By putting it in a plastic bucket with a lid? It’s friggin’ toilet paper, not the Declaration of Independence. Sounds like a good idea if you have cats. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/186 "2011-11-18T00:28:28Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Sounds like a good idea if you have cats. [Or want to impress a date.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWE-PaY4hxw) ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/187 "2011-11-18T00:44:54Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Just saw that Ebay commercial with the obnoxious bratty teenager singing her complaints about last year’s gifts and listing her demands for this year. If I were Aunt Helen, I’d stuff that needlepoint right down the thankless little bitch’s throat. Oh hell yeah. The Wife and I looked at each other during that commercial and said “You know what she gets this year? She gets NOTHING. Ungrateful little snot.” ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/188 "2011-11-18T01:12:37Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > [Or want to impress a date.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWE-PaY4hxw) “My date’s in the bathroom; no need to knock before opening the door!” ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/189 "2011-11-18T01:34:05Z")
Has someone mentioned the commercial with all the douche bags at the office meeting making fun of the guy who uses a pen and paper instead of a tablet? That is terrible on so many levels. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/190 "2011-11-18T01:59:00Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > " Enjoy the go." _WINCE_ That’s right up there with “What can brown do for you?” ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/191 "2011-11-18T02:57:21Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > “My date’s in the bathroom; no need to knock before opening the door!” Actually he does knock. He just doesn’t seem to wait for an answer. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/192 "2011-11-18T02:59:21Z")
Yeah, there’s some weird jump cut where I guess she opened the door. I guess it’s hard to pack a lot of details into a ten second spot about toilet paper cans. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/193 "2011-11-18T03:26:53Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > Yikes, I thought it was “bunny ninja.” > > I actually like the Dr. Pepper 10 commercials if only because it’s a break from the pussy-whipped Steves in all the others. “Catchphrase!!” I thought it was “bloody ninja”… Also the Dr. Pepper campaign is seriously splitting my PR classes in two…some really hate this idea, I’m in the camp that I like it. But interesting nonetheless ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/194 "2011-11-18T21:15:47Z")
“Bill Schafer made a financial gain with his invention. Bill’s experience is not typical and most inventions are not successful.” This freaking commercial comes on 50 times a night on every cable channel. Invent Help must have gotten the best rates ever. Plus they’re selling their services in marketing your invention and the best they can come up with is one minor tie-in to an existing product. There’s also one for a clear ball that can be used in contact juggling. It irks me because it’s so staged and such a lie in its implied/never stated claim. The commercial implies that people can pick that up and instantly look like [David Bowie in Labrynth](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_IcWf8EVjU). In truth David Bowie couldn’t even look like David Bowie in Labrynth, those weren’t his hands and you’re no more going to instantly use this thing expertly than you’re going to instantly juggle three rubber balls you just bought. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/195 "2011-11-18T21:33:14Z")
There’s a new one for delivered media content for your whatever device. They suggest that you can watch TV on your lunch hour, and they show a woman watching a TV episode on her iPad. First of all, I feel really badly for someone who goes and squeezes in an hour of TV on their damn lunch hour. Unplug, woman! Second of all, she’s watching _Lost_. Who in their right mind that has access to an entire TV series would watch an hour and only an hour of THAT one? They couldn’t have picked a worse example. Another one: Some dude’s sitting outside a Chinese restaurant and someone whispers in his hear, so he gets on his motorcycle and chases down a van, jumps the bike and metal spikes shoot out and attach it to the van. Then he climbs onto the roof, drops in a flash grenade, and pushes a big box out the back into a truck that slams on the brakes so the box slides in the back. Back at some warehouse motorcycle guy then opens the box and inside is a razor phone, that elevates out of the box with little metal spikes holding it in place. “Technology too good to fall into the wrong hands” it says. Once I’m finished wrapping my mind around all the improbabilities of everything involved with the heist, I still don’t know if it’s now in the wrong hands or not. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/196 "2011-11-19T22:57:27Z")
There’s a Walmart one for Christmas (layaway?). Two women, a blond customer, a ponytailed employee. It is so mindbogglingly horrible I can’t even begin to describe it. It almost makes me cry, it’s so awful, or dive for the remote. ---
**Author:** ![Doody\_Pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@Doody\_Pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doody_Pants)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/197 "2011-11-20T00:16:27Z")
Oh joy! Psychotic Target Christmas Shopping lady is back! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/198 "2011-11-20T00:19:30Z")
She does not belong in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/199 "2011-11-20T02:56:23Z")
I am going to stab my television the next time I see an ad for Subway with the baby-voiced office workers… Joe ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/200 "2011-11-20T03:24:45Z")
> [@Doody\_Pants](#): > > Oh joy! Psychotic Target Christmas Shopping lady is back! I LIKE her! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325.md?page=11)