# Commercials you hate #31,686 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325 "2011-10-02T03:48:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Jocko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncle_jocko/32/2932_2.png) [@Uncle\_Jocko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Jocko)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/401 "2012-02-21T22:25:26Z")
> [@well\_he\_s\_back](#): > > There’s that bank card commercial where the girl and guy are going rock climbing and the new shoes she’s getting are rock climbing shoes, and nylons are rock climbing equipment etc. Not horrible, but apparently the company could only afford one commercial as they are running it endlessly and on the few shows I care about. aargh. “Some-bod-dy left the gate o-o-o-pen…” Yeah, clever the first time. Really irritating the 8,457th time. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/402 "2012-02-21T23:00:10Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > This [article](http://houston.culturemap.com/newsdetail/08-24-10-brown-hand-center-doc-arrested-for-assaulting-wife-again/)was in the news recently. (Doc Brown beats his wife. Repeatedly.) And, he uses his hands to do it! ---
**Author:** ![A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a87d85/32.png) [@A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Dodgy_Dude)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/403 "2012-02-24T23:00:27Z")
That annoying piglet going on adventures and constantly screaming, “Wheeeee!” ---
**Author:** ![BaconAndEggs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@BaconAndEggs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaconAndEggs)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/404 "2012-03-06T13:28:25Z")
The commercial about lung cancer from smoking. There’s many versions of this commercial. It has long, hacking coughs. It sounds like someones coughing their brains out. I hear gasping for air, coughing, so I put it on mute when this crap comes on. ---
**Author:** ![BaconAndEggs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@BaconAndEggs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaconAndEggs)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/405 "2012-03-06T13:30:33Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > That new SeaBond commercial with the hand puppet. It’s essentially a sock puppet with a giant set of dentures on the end, so the overall effect is “giant dildo with teeth” It looks like a sideways vagina with teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/406 "2012-03-06T13:50:04Z")
“I have a structured settlement and I need cash now!” Fuck off and die. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/407 "2012-03-06T14:07:30Z")
There’s a commercial for either the Sleep Number or Tempurpedic bed (I can’t remember which). Anyway, there’s a young couple featured talking about it, but I swear to Og they look exactly like a brother and sister. Squeeks me right out, every time. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/408 "2012-03-06T14:55:20Z")
The one for that alarm system that has a video relay. Specifically the one where the stereotypical “bad guys” are scoping out the house in broad daylight and the one guy rings the doorbell. The homeowner is on vacation or something but can see the video on his iPhone, and he goes “CAN I _HELP_ YOU?!” in a super-bitchy voice, which of course scares off the bad guys. The homeowner seems like such a dick. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/409 "2012-03-06T15:42:15Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > “I have a structured settlement and I need cash now!” > > Fuck off and die. You’re just jealous because you don’t have a structured settlement. No worries, I don’t either. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/410 "2012-03-06T16:10:48Z")
There are so many…, The “Allianz” commericials with the snobby college pronunciation of “ollie-onz”, and that stupid slogan about one thing to know about it is that it’s more than one thing. The Bayer aspirin commercial where a guy complains to a flight attendant about a headache, and she gives him as aspirin, and he says, “No, I’m not having a heart attack. I’m having a headache”. As if he never heard of using aspirin for a headache. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/411 "2012-03-06T16:52:48Z")
A question about that Pizza Rolls commercial where the kid is looking in the freezer and complaining to his mom on the phone: what is that humanoid- looking thing standing beside him? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/412 "2012-03-06T17:32:45Z")
Someone is advertising an app to tell you if your garage door is open and allow you to close it remotely. Is that really a big problem? Maybe I’m just a creature of habit, but as I’m pulling down the driveway, I always check to see that the door is down or coming down. And I don’t recall ever wondering, from miles away, if I’d closed the door… or left the iron on, or left the water running, or the oven on… Not so much a particular commercial as a tendency, at least in my local market, to play a commercial twice in a row or twice in the same break. The first time I saw this, I thought someone goofed, but it’s happened often enough that I’m guessing it’s deliberate. So, in case you didn’t hear me the first time, I’m going to repeat my entire spiel again, right now, so pay attention… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Jocko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncle_jocko/32/2932_2.png) [@Uncle\_Jocko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Jocko)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/413 "2012-03-06T17:33:10Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > A question about that Pizza Rolls commercial where the kid is looking in the freezer and complaining to his mom on the phone: what is that humanoid- looking thing standing beside him? Do you notice the kid _leaves the phone in the freezer_ when he takes the Pizza Rolls out? That true-to-life depiction of adolescent boydom almost redeems the commercial. Almost. My latest scorn comes for the Lowes commercial, with the falling paint cans and the tendrils of paint swirling across town. I don’t know, I didn’t hate it at first … but it’s on all. The. Freaking. Time. And the combination of that earwormy tune and the cute little girl in slow motion on the swing with the paint flowing by under her … aaaahhhhh! Please, no more, Lowes! ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/414 "2012-03-06T17:53:54Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Someone is advertising an app to tell you if your garage door is open and allow you to close it remotely. Is that really a big problem? Maybe I’m just a creature of habit, but as I’m pulling down the driveway, I always check to see that the door is down or coming down. And I don’t recall ever wondering, from miles away, if I’d closed the door… or left the iron on, or left the water running, or the oven on… The best part of that is the scare tactic they use: They show a skunk getting in your garage because you’ve left the door open. But now you can close the door remotely – trapping the skunk in your garage! Just what you had in mind! ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/415 "2012-03-06T20:17:13Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Someone is advertising an app to tell you if your garage door is open and allow you to close it remotely. Is that really a big problem? Maybe I’m just a creature of habit, but as I’m pulling down the driveway, I always check to see that the door is down or coming down. And I don’t recall ever wondering, from miles away, if I’d closed the door… or left the iron on, or left the water running, or the oven on… “Worried about accidentally leaving your garage door up? We can help! Come down to our laboratory and we’ll give you a case of OCD. You’ll never forget from now on when you quintuple check!” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/416 "2012-03-07T08:58:17Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > A radio commercial came on this morning for some auto insurance company. It said, “It’s 1:00 in the morning, it’s raining, and you’re stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire. Who do you call?” > > I don’t call anyone, moron, I get out and change the fucking flat tire myself! > > Obviously they’re selling roadside assistance, but I would think most of the free world can change tires themselves. Even _women_! [hijack]: This item, which is not relevant to this thread, happened to me. I drove, in a downpour, to Adelaide; she lived about 7 miles away. When I got there and parked in her covered carport, she told me I had a nail (actually a long bolt) in one tire, and insisted on calling the Auto Club for me. I shrugged and let her see my card. The guy came and I felt sorry for him having to change a wheel in the pouring rain, when I knew I could do it all by myself.[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/417 "2012-03-07T14:29:51Z")
The A&W commercial where the woman is singing “Take My Breath Away” to the Sirloin Uncle Burger. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/418 "2012-03-07T14:37:10Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > [hijack]: This item, which is not relevant to this thread, happened to me. I drove, in a downpour, to Adelaide; she lived about 7 miles away. When I got there and parked in her covered carport, she told me I had a nail (actually a long bolt) in one tire, and insisted on calling the Auto Club for me. I shrugged and let her see my card. The guy came and I felt sorry for him having to change a wheel in the pouring rain, when I knew I could do it all by myself.[/hijack] Huh? Did you move the car out of the covered carport just so he could change the tire in the pouring rain? That’s kind of a dickish thing to do… ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/419 "2012-03-07T16:02:08Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > “I have a structured settlement and I need cash now!” > > Fuck off and die. “It’s MY money, I want it NOW!” No, bitch it ain’t _ **your** _ money. You agreed to a PAYMENT SCHEDULE! Or you won THE LOTTERY! If you had wanted a lump sum, you should have taken it from the lottery commission, or settled your court case for a lesser lump sum. It’s only _ **your** _ money when you _ **get paid** _, if you want it now, pay through the nose, moron. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/420 "2012-03-07T20:12:30Z")
There is some POS exercise equipment that Elizabeth Hasselbeck is hawking on late-night TV called the “3 Minute Abs”. The big claim of this product is that "3 minutes on the _3 minute Abs_ is equivalent to the calorie-burning effect of **100** sit-ups! :eek: Except, how long does it actually take to do 100 situps? 2 minutes? Maybe 3? So the “big claim” for this exercise machine is that 3 minutes on it is (at best) equivalent to the calorie-burning effect of 3 minutes without it. You could get the calorie-burning effects of 100 situps in LESS than 3 minutes; if you just did the fuckin’ sit ups. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325.md?page=22)