# Commercials you hate #31,686 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325 "2011-10-02T03:48:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Tess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@Tess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2011, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/121 "2011-10-08T22:11:11Z")
The commercial for Quilted Northern with women talking about how it’s time to “get real about what happens in the bathroom.” None of them get real, they spend the whole time tap dancing around the issue. A few versions have them treating toilet paper commercials using “cutesy” images with contempt. This from a company that wanted people to believe their own toilet paper was made by tiny cartoon quilters armed with knitting needles (?). ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/122 "2011-10-08T22:49:51Z")
They don’t show it any more, thank goodness, but those two ads (I only saw two at least) for some cell phone company which has such great prices, it causes people to be dicks. There’s the one where a woman calls, texts, and E-mails her boyfriend about breaking up with him, and whenever he tries to steer the conversation about the relationship she just goes on about how everything is OK because her texting and E-mailing are free. Then there’s the one where one neighbor criticizes another for his Christmas lights. Again, calling, texting, and E-mailing about it and ignoring any turning angry comments from his neighbor into praises for his phone plan. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/123 "2011-10-09T00:34:48Z")
“If you have an erection for more than four hours…” ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/124 "2011-10-09T02:24:02Z")
> [@Tess](#): > > A > No. We call that “erosion.” Lake effect influences the amount of precipitation in an area. > Nothing like a school flaunting their ignorance. God! That reminds me of this Orchard Supply Hardware (radio) commercial from a few months ago where they were discussing some adage, then explaining it, but it was entirely wrong! I wish I could remember what the saying was. I used to actually scream at my radio. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/125 "2011-10-09T03:31:18Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Another vote for Greenhouse Bitch. > > The one I hate even more than that, though, is the one for some sort of wireless headphones (it plays a lot on the Game Show channel in the late evening, along with the catheter commercials and diabetes-aid commercials–yeah, I watch old people TV while getting ready for bed. Sue me. :D) > > Anyway, the point of these headphones is that they’re supposed to block outside sounds so you can watch your TV show in peace. So here’s this dude sitting in a chair blissfully watching his show, while on either side of him two children that they clearly dug up from the Home For The Most Horrible Child “Actors” _Ever_, yelling at each other back and forth. Their deathless dialog? And I quote: > > “Dinosaur!” > “Ball!” > “Dinosaur!” > “Ball!” > > Mind you, it gets worse–this is one of those commercials that often seem to play on off channels (I haven’t seen too much of this offense lately on the networks) where they jack up the volume to like twice the volume of the actual show. So the commercial is yelling at you in the first place, and then you have these two moronic monotone children screaming “Dinosaur!” “Ball!” at each other…it’s enough to make you want to pop their little heads off. > > “Dinosaur!” “Ball!” has now become the spouse’s and my code for anything loud and inane. > > Oh–[here’s the commercial](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7bw0VFjn5w). Be warned, it’s really awful. I’m thinking it would be cheaper to put a bullet in each kid’s head than to buy the headphones to drown them out. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/126 "2011-10-09T03:35:37Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I’m thinking it would be cheaper to put a bullet in each kid’s head than to buy the headphones to drown them out. Have you seen ammo prices lately? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/127 "2011-10-09T04:10:55Z")
But you need to think long term. His kids will have annoying load kids, and their kids will have annoying loud kids, until one day they will drown out the sound of every television on Earth. This calls for some serious bud nipping. All your major therapists would agree that these kids should be killed early and often. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/128 "2011-10-11T16:45:24Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I’ve got another to add to the list - I think it’s for Certain Dry antiperspirant. Some blond dipstick is talking about how her doctor recommended it, and it turns out she’s talking to Dr. Joe Studly, who removes his glasses and smiles sexily… I especially love the tag line: “Cool.” > > Could anyone have written a stupider ad?? I’m mystified that they thought highly enough of the concept to go to the well more than once. (There’s the one where they first meet, and there’s the one where they are already an item.) I guess she’s blandly cute, but he has such a punchable face. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/129 "2011-10-11T19:44:07Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I’ve got another to add to the list - I think it’s for Certain Dry antiperspirant. Some blond dipstick is talking about how her doctor recommended it, and it turns out she’s talking to Dr. Joe Studly, who removes his glasses and smiles sexily… I especially love the tag line: “Cool.” > > Could anyone have written a stupider ad?? I saw that for the first time over the weekend. Not just bad - but really bad acting, even for an advert. ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/130 "2011-10-12T00:08:26Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Miller Lite’s “man up” commercials. Beer for men who are really insecure. I hate these as well. I want to give a big middle finger to Miller Lite. ---
**Author:** ![Smitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Smitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smitty)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/131 "2011-10-12T15:52:54Z")
> [@YamatoTwinkie](#): > > This freaking Zoosk commercial: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I61n\_kkRRHA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I61n_kkRRHA) > > She rejects this guy based on nothing but seeing his dating profile picture and inventing some scenario where he’ll be clumsy while he’s making out with her. And all her friends nod in agreement. What? > > Although since astrology seems to be one of the major aspects of the Zoosk dating website, I really shouldn’t be surprised at the stupidity there. Totally agree. My first thought on seeing this commercial was, “So you are getting the shit beat out of you in a make-out session in your own fantasy?” ---
**Author:** ![Laggard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Laggard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laggard)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/132 "2011-10-12T16:25:11Z")
There’s some hard-on pill commercial that plays this blues guitar riff in the background through the entire stupid commercial. Once you notice, it becomes annoying. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/133 "2011-10-12T16:35:23Z")
Oh, I like the “E.D.” commercials in an “I hate them so much I love them” way. I don’t mind the blues riff commercial with the guy driving his truck on his way home to his honey. I saw one last night with the words “romance can strike at any moment” - a couple raking leaves, bumped shoulders, and…instant turn-on! Yeah, all hot and sweaty trying to get the leaves bagged up for pickup in the morning, and someone is gonna want to throw down the rakes, that’ll happen…This is the twin bathtubs in the field commercial. Also cringeworthy is all the coy courtship: holding hands, deep conversations, gazing deep into each others eyes, dancing, giggling, knowing the boner pill is going to do its job “whenever the moment is right”! ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/134 "2011-10-12T16:39:40Z")
> [@campp](#): > > The Kia _(I think)_ commercial with the dancing robots and the chipmunks or moles or whatever that have gigantic loads in their pants. And this makes me want the car because… um… what? Why did anyone think that the bulges were a good idea? I guess they were trying to stay true to the animal’s anatomy, but geez! I hate those overexposed Target pharmacy ads, especially the one that repeatedly shows close-ups of noses. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/135 "2011-10-12T18:50:26Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > Why did anyone think that the bulges were a good idea? I guess they were trying to stay true to the animal’s anatomy, but geez! I thought it was because that’s how everyone looks when they sag their pants. Even hamsters. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/136 "2011-10-12T19:26:05Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I thought it was because that’s how everyone looks when they sag their pants. Even hamsters. Heh. I thought the hamsters were cute except for their diaper-blowout pants. I think they would have been better off going with the cartoon standard of just having them wear no pants. They’re _hamsters_–who’s gonna care? ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/137 "2011-10-12T20:46:50Z")
There’s a Rent-A-Center commercial with Hulk Hogan blabbing about something while a man and woman argue about him falling from a ladder or something. At the end, she excitedly exclaims “He did!” while making a face only Satan could love. The Viagra or whatever commercial where the guy is towing horses through a mud hole is irritating. When I’m in a 4x4 and get stuck, the first thing I do is search for horses to chain to the front bumper to pull me free. The second thing I would think to do would be to… put the truck in 4x4. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/138 "2011-10-12T23:11:18Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I thought it was because that’s how everyone looks when they sag their pants. Even hamsters. They got the saggy pants right…but then the hamsters go into this sort of “jogging in place” move that results in this _bulge_ being thrust forward repeatedly. It really does look like an overloaded diaper swinging back and forth. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/139 "2011-10-12T23:28:48Z")
> [@FordTaurusSHO94](#): > > The second thing I would think to do would be to… put the truck in 4x4. I think there may be an analogy there that’s sllipped past you. That would be like just getting some darned wood. When you get to a certain age, sometimes you’re gonna need a team of.packhorses, no matter how awesome your truck is. Sent with my fat fingers using Tapatalk. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325/140 "2011-10-12T23:40:46Z")
There’s one for Royal Purple motor oil that’s a tie-in with the movie _Real Steel_. It shows clips of the fighting robots from the movie while the voiceover brags about how well their oil lubricates moving parts, or something like that. Seriously, you want me to buy your oil because it does such a great job on _things that don’t really exist_? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-hate-31-686/598325.md?page=8)