# Commercials you just don't get... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 4, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194 "2004-04-04T17:03:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/41 "2004-04-06T05:16:16Z")
The Tampax commercial where the girl stops a leak in a rowboat because she happens to have a big box of Tampax in her bag. I would of expected the guy when he tirns around and sees what she has done to say “ewwww!” I certainly did. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/42 "2004-04-06T06:16:57Z")
The Sportscenter (IIRC) one where the boxer and the other guy are by the toaster talking about Pokemon. Is the idea that if you watched Sportscenter you’d have more interesting things to talk about? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/43 "2004-04-06T06:30:35Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > The Tampax commercial where the girl stops a leak in a rowboat because she happens to have a big box of Tampax in her bag. I would of expected the guy when he tirns around and sees what she has done to say “ewwww!” I certainly did. My thought on this one was this: (Let me start by saying that my knowledge of the INNER workings of the female “workings” is fairly limited in scope to size and such…then again, it’s been so long since I’ve had a date that the cat walks out of the room backwards) If I were the guy in this situation, I wouldn’t be so much grossed-out by the tampon in the hole in the boat as I would by the implications of what that means in comtext to the size of HER…workings. I mean, I’ve dated girls where sex felt like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, but I’m fairly certain that the orifice was smaller than a hole in a boat. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/44 "2004-04-06T06:38:37Z")
> [@Odinoneeye](#): > > The Sportscenter (IIRC) one where the boxer and the other guy are by the toaster talking about Pokemon. > > Is the idea that if you watched Sportscenter you’d have more interesting things to talk about? The “This is Sportscenter” ads are just an attempt to show what a fun, offbeat place to work it is. Slices of kooky life. One of my absolute favorites is the one where Rich Eisen is demoted to the minors to brush up on his anchoring skills; he winds up at a middle school, reporting on wrestling as his pint-sized co-anchor eyes him suspiciously and says, “You’re not even a student here, are you?” ---
**Author:** ![LolaBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/45 "2004-04-06T06:54:02Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I haven’t seen the Quizno’s ad with the scary dead hamster-things in a few weeks. > I have seen an older-style Quizno’s ad with just the sandwich and a basic voice-over, and the tag at the end with the guy saying, “Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm! Toasty!” Much more appetizing. > Maybe enough people were sufficently grossed out that they pulled the ads with the scary dead hamster-things. No, they’re still on. They have a new $2.99 special. “Big joy is in our hearts!!!” 😃 They’ve grown on me. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/46 "2004-04-06T07:08:53Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > I _think_ it is a parody of the Lean Cuisine (I think that’s the brand) ads which is a bunch of women talking about what they had for dinner last night. Most of them have apparently eaten things like half a stalk of celery (or something like that) and then one woman blows them all away saying everything that comes in one of those microwave dinners. > > Actually, that’s a product I’ve never even understood. Microwave dinners. I believe what they are trying to say is that the guy that had a skimpy, wussy dinner was so light in the body that a hair dryer could blow him away, and the guy that ate the big-man “hearty” dinner had enough body mass to not get blown away. It’s a substantial meal, get it? ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/47 "2004-04-06T07:30:51Z")
> [@sciguy](#): > > I don’t get any of the ads for prescription drugs. Especially the “teaser” versions where you get absolutely no information about what it’s supposed to treat. “Ask your doctor if X is right for you”. Well gee, I’m feeling undermedicated, I’ll run right out and do that, hoping it’s not a new treatment for menopause (I’m in my late 20s, plus I’m male). Well, there’s a law that says they either have to tell you _everything_ (list the side effects and such) or nothing. Option B is cheaper, and easier to fit into any given slot. I’ve seen some that said “See our magazine ad,” which makes a bit more sense than “Ask your doctor…” Besides, you can usually figure it out from the imagery, like the Levitra one where the guy can’t throw the football through the tire, then talks to his doctor about Levitra, then goes back home and throws the football through the hole. The football and tire are a metaphor, see. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BabaBooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/48 "2004-04-06T11:21:02Z")
> [@Fern Forest](#): > > Ahh, I thought he was talking about a Levi jeans ad where this scruffy couple were standing in the middle of the road in the middle of the night and their was no one else around. All of a sudden a stampede of bison come down the road towards them. They do something, maybe hold up their hands, and the bison run around them. I thought that was th buffalo + jeans which drove him to tears. That’s exactly what I was reffering to. I had something else to say but forgot because I’m drunk. ---
**Author:** ![pilot141](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pilot141](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pilot141)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/49 "2004-04-06T15:10:55Z")
> [@](#): > > I believe what they are trying to say is that the guy that had a skimpy, wussy dinner was so light in the body that a hair dryer could blow him away, and the guy that ate the big-man “hearty” dinner had enough body mass to not get blown away. It’s a substantial meal, get it? And no one else has mentioned yet that the guy who gets blown away was the Fiance in Fox’s My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance? Versatile actor, that guy. ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/50 "2004-04-06T15:50:40Z")
There’s a car commercial with a guy who’s standing in the middle of a big open desert area and he’s thinking, paraphrashed of course, “So just when I’m thinking, ‘Isn’t there a car out there that’s right for me?’ along comes this car…” and they flash to a car (is it Mazda? I can’t remember) and he’s in it, and he continues, “… with all this _stuff_…” and then another car comes up and he goes on about the next car, saying it also has all this stuff… What exactly are they saying? What stuff is this? What about this is supposed to make me buy this car? It’s almost like the advertising guys didn’t know who the commercial would be for, so they made it as generic as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/51 "2004-04-06T15:52:29Z")
My vote goes to the ads that try so hard to make a particular joke that the product becomes an afterthought tacked on to the end. Two examples of this that I have saved on my computer (yeah, I collect commercials. It’s for my work, ok?) are for Toyota and Hamlet cigars. The Toyota one is a collection of ‘funniest bloopers’-type video clips of people tripping down stairs, skaters falling on their faces, golfers getting smacked by sprinklers, etc. Pretty painful looking stuff (from the clothing styles, it looks like it was from before the funniest home video craze). As it ends, a voice-over comes on with “through all the bumps and bruises of life… etc., it’s good to know some things don’t change. Toyota.” The Hamlet cigar ads come in two versions that I’ve seen. In one, a soccer player tries to avoid getting hit by a penalty kick and ends up getting smacked in the groin. As he’s being carried off in a stretcher, he lights up a cigar. Right. The other one doesn’t even try that hard: a guy driving an expensive convertible is pulling out of a parking garage when an attractive woman walks by. As he pulls forward a bit to get a better look, the garage guardrail comes down on his head and knocks him out. This time, the cigars are only mentioned in a voice-over as the guardrail keeps swinging down and smacking his head into the car horn. In all of these, the jokes they spend so much time setting up don’t even remotely relate to the product, and could just as easily be used (with equal ineffectiveness) to pitch anything else. It’s like some guy at the ad agency had a joke in his head that he really wanted to film, and then spent five seconds on linking it to the product. What really suprises me is that the clients went for it. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/52 "2004-04-06T23:13:20Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > The Tampax commercial where the girl stops a leak in a rowboat because she happens to have a big box of Tampax in her bag. I would of expected the guy when he tirns around and sees what she has done to say “ewwww!” I certainly did. I (a female-type person) find that commercial disturbing for a completely different reason. She doesn’t merely remove a tampon from her bag. No, she takes one from a **box** in her bag. How bad are her periods that she had to take a whole BOX of them with her while just out for a boat ride? Get thee to a doctor, woman! People who don’t live or frequent New England won’t know what I’m talking about, but I find many of the Bob’s Funiture Store ads baffling. Why should making people look like the Littles make me want to buy from their store? At least they didn’t have the one of the person dressed as a leperchaun dancing on the coffee this St. Pactrick’s day this year. Now there’s a lighting store doing the look-at-the-tiny-people-on-our-products commericals too! Bob should sue. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/53 "2004-04-06T23:40:48Z")
> [@Fern Forest](#): > > Ahh, I thought he was talking about a Levi jeans ad where this scruffy couple were standing in the middle of the road in the middle of the night and their was no one else around. All of a sudden a stampede of bison come down the road towards them. They do something, maybe hold up their hands, and the bison run around them. I thought that was th buffalo + jeans which drove him to tears. There are tears in the commercial, too. the scruffy couple is moved to tears by the, I dunno, _majesty(?)_ of the herd as it rushes by them. But why buffalo in the city? What does this have to do with Levis? I can only imagine it’s supposed to be some kind of vague reference to Levi jeans having been around since the days when herd of buffalo roamed the prairies or something. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/54 "2004-04-07T00:30:40Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > I (a female-type person) find that commercial disturbing for a completely different reason. She doesn’t merely remove a tampon from her bag. No, she takes one from a **box** in her bag. How bad are her periods that she had to take a whole BOX of them with her while just out for a boat ride? Get thee to a doctor, woman! > > People who don’t live or frequent New England won’t know what I’m talking about, but I find many of the Bob’s Funiture Store ads baffling. Why should making people look like the Littles make me want to buy from their store? At least they didn’t have the one of the person dressed as a leperchaun dancing on the coffee this St. Pactrick’s day this year. Now there’s a lighting store doing the look-at-the-tiny-people-on-our-products commericals too! Bob should sue. Argh… I don’t even try to “get” Bob’s commercials, I just actively try to avoid the horror. That voice of his… eeesh. Yeah, Bob, you better believe I’m gonna come on down! And will it be pleasant for you? I doooooubt it! ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/55 "2004-04-07T00:50:18Z")
The candy commercial with the three people walking and every once in a while dipping while all hell breaks loose around them. There is a second one on the beach. I second the Levi’s commercial – a big HUH?! And since we’re talking Thom and Pier 1 or whatever it is – I never actually got the Kirstie Alley versions either. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/56 "2004-04-07T01:47:45Z")
> [@audiobottle](#): > > There’s a car commercial with a guy who’s standing in the middle of a big open desert area and he’s thinking, paraphrashed of course, “So just when I’m thinking, ‘Isn’t there a car out there that’s right for me?’ along comes this car…” and they flash to a car (is it Mazda? I can’t remember) and he’s in it, and he continues, “… with all this _stuff_…” and then another car comes up and he goes on about the next car, saying it also has all this stuff… What exactly are they saying? What stuff is this? What about this is supposed to make me buy this car? The thing that bugs me about **all** car commercials, in general, is that the guys who write the ads seem to **take it as a given** that everybody in America **lives** for having the right car. You, the viewer, worship at the automotive altar. A car that has slightly better acceleration and cornering capability than the car you already have will be second only to having sex with Christie Brinkley and Cindy Crawford at the same time in terms of the ecstasy it produces. After a hard day at work, the only thing you can think about is the sheer joy you’ll feel during your commute home, because, darn it, you’re gonna be **driving!** Does everybody in America really feel this way about cars? I know I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Redsland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9de0a6/32.png) [@Redsland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redsland)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/57 "2004-04-07T03:30:26Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > Does everybody in America really feel this way about cars? No, but people who are in the market for a new car might. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/58 "2004-04-07T06:50:16Z")
[This One.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249566) Makes me wish I saw this thread before starting that one… To sumarize, it’s a commercial for soy products with people eating first real meat, then the soy thing. The person eating then guesses exactly what they ate. If would be better if they guessed the soy product was what it was imitating (a burger, for instance,) cause then the tagline would make sense. “Protein comes in unexpected places” or something. Baffles me. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/59 "2004-04-07T12:28:12Z")
Sorry, I’m not too clear on the details…it’s a commercial for cell phones that have text messaging and take pictures, I think. Anyway, you see these three women in different locations keeping in touch with each other with their phones, and their nicknames pop up on the screen (one is LipChick96 or something). Anyway, ole LipChick is sitting at a restaurant watching (stalking?) a guy whose date suddenly throws a glass of water in his face and stamps off. L.C. instantly gets in touch with her buds to spread the glad tidings that whatsisname is back on the market and she’s making her move. WTF? First of all, why is she following them around? Second, and most confusing, why does she think this guy is Mr. Wonderful? In my experience, a guy really has to do something creepy to get his date to throw something at him. And you get the idea that the other two women with the phones are just kicking themselves because they weren’t there during the four seconds that Mr. Wonderful was without a girlfriend. Ewwww! ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194/60 "2004-04-07T16:22:06Z")
OK, how about another jeans ad? This one has a guy standing in what looks like a southwestern town. An odd vehicle drives by (looks like a pickup of some kind with a large trailer hitch mounted in the bed). Guy lassos the vehicle and is dragged through the streets to some sort of arena. Guy pulls himself along the rope and onto the vehicle, finally getting on top of it. Vehicle stops. Guy gets off and opens the door. Vehicle is empty. He gets in and drives off. Someone want to explain that one? (The jeans are tough maybe? I’ll remember that if I’m ever in a position to be dragged through the streets. No idea what the brand name is though.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commercials-you-just-dont-get/238194.md?page=4)