# Commit hipster heresy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 13, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588 "2006-09-13T19:07:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/1 "2006-09-13T19:07:31Z")
I am no slave to hipsterdom, let’s get that straight. I’m about 65% dork, and I go to a dozen Mets games a year. But if I had to spit out a string of hipster bona fides, I could: I bought all the Velvet Underground records on vinyl when I was in high school, I go to foreign films and stay awake, I have for brief periods worn a soul patch (and I mean outside of my bathroom right after shaving, which doesn’t count, because otherwise I could claim to have worn a Hitler moustache), I saw REM and Nirvana in small clubs before they were well known (hell, I saw the Clash at Bond’s when I was in high school), I can’t wear clothing with logos on them. So there you have it. Was I, am I a hipster asshat? Give me the litmus paper and I’ll lick. Still, the hipster canon is very strict. And, for the fun of it, I would like to commit the following heresies: **Patti Smith.** I bought her records. Dutifully. I don’t like them. I think “Dancing Barefoot” is a good song when someone else does it. Otherwise she’s almost universally a boring songwriter and a terrible singer (and this from someone who usually likes terrible singers). Her main poetic influence is the incoherent liner notes to _Highway 61 Revisited_. “At heart I’m a Moslem.” What the hell does this even mean? So wear a burka and recite the Koran, then … play clarinet for Cat Stevens and stop out putting records. **Shirts with someone else’s name stitched on a pocket.** Whether they were worn by the member of a bowling team or an employee of a beverage distribution company, it is all too abundantly clear that (1) that original owner is not you, (2) that person did not go out to a club on a Saturday night wearing it, and (3) you are guilty of a hipster affectation that I was tired of in 1985, more so even than cat-eye glasses, porkpie hats, Bettie Page haircuts, and overly oblique tats. **Rock bands from Japan.** They’re terrible, every last one. Yes, even Shonen Knife. Yes, even if you want to pretend you’ve listened to a Boredoms CD all the way through. **Being over 40 and working in a record store.** I don’t care if you founded Delaware’s first punk ‘zine or started a seminal noise-rock band. You don’t have any wiggle room to be snotty about my taste in music if you’re older than me and the employee of a record store. Just ring up the Dixie Chicks CD and check out the inside of your eyelids some other time, thanks. **Heroin.** Humans love opiates. It makes you about as cool and interesting and edgy as Rush Limbaugh. Your serve. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/2 "2006-09-13T19:15:52Z")
I think Jack Kerouac was an overhyped hack, and most jazz music bores me. ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/3 "2006-09-13T19:28:26Z")
I’m a huge fan of Gavin Rossdale and Bush. I’ve never understood the appeal of Bob Dylan. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/4 "2006-09-13T19:33:57Z")
Sonic Youth is the most boring rock and roll band in the history of rock and roll. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/5 "2006-09-13T19:50:08Z")
I found _Pulp Fiction_ overwrought and dull at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/6 "2006-09-13T20:15:28Z")
I guess I should point out what gives me hipster cred to start with. Even though I don’t self-identify as a hipster (I leave such determinations up to others), I’ve got a lot in common with them. I like the Velvet Underground and a lot of 70’s punk, 80’s punk/post-punk/new wave and alternative from then onward. I like alternative comics, such as the stuff by Daniel Clowes. I like Chuck Palaniuk and Samuel Beckett, and am getting into Kurt Vonnegut. Here are my heresies: I like Jack Kerouac from what I’ve read of him, but I think William Burroughs isn’t worth reading more than a few pages of. He can string some nifty sentences together, but that’s about it. Also, I don’t like him as a person from what I know about him. I own two Old Navy shirts that my parents bought them for me, and will sometimes wear them in public. Usually only when I don’t have any other clean shirts, and I’m self-conscious about it, but I think that if I were a better man I’d be able to wear them without any worries. There’s some music I like that some would consider uncool: 10,000 Maniacs KT Tunstall Toad the Wet Sprocket The Monkees songs that I’ve heard That song by The Archies ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/7 "2006-09-13T20:19:39Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I found _Pulp Fiction_ overwrought and dull at the same time. [/QUOTE] I came in to mention this. I found Pulp Fiction to be boring and not very interesting. It seems that this is an unpardonable sin in some circles. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/8 "2006-09-13T20:31:38Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] I came in to mention this. I found Pulp Fiction to be boring and not very interesting. It seems that this is an unpardonable sin in some circles. [/QUOTE] Indeed. I once dissed Quentin Tarantino in a crowd of hipsters, and they got medieval on my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/9 "2006-09-13T20:46:49Z")
[QUOTE=Talon Karrde] That song by The Archies [/QUOTE] Sugar, Sugar is one of the best pop songs ever recorded. Even a hipster should be able to appreciate the cheesyness of the song. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/10 "2006-09-13T20:49:20Z")
I’m likely to think that the song released as the single is one of the better songs on the album. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/11 "2006-09-13T20:55:30Z")
Captain Beefheart, Pere Ubu, Can, Bruce Springsteen\*\*\*\*\*, The Ramones, Patti Smith, The MC5, Liz Phair, Vic Chesnutt, Sleater-Kinney, The White Stripes, The Silver Jews, Stephen Merritt/Magnetic Fields, Uncle Tupelo, and even freakin’ dead Nick Drake are all artists [artistes?] whose appeal and alleged genius I’ve never really gotten and are either just not for me or are overrated… …and ditto for the films of Eric Rohmer. \*\*\*\*\* listing Bruce might be more of a New Jersey heresy than a hipster heresy, though. Your mileage (and highway exits) may vary. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/12 "2006-09-13T21:07:45Z")
[QUOTE=adam yax] Sugar, Sugar is one of the best pop songs ever recorded. Even a hipster should be able to appreciate the cheesyness of the song. [/QUOTE] I think appreciating “Sugar, Sugar” for its cheesiness is exactly something a hipster would do. It would be liking the song unironically and considering it to be a great piece of popular music that would consititute hipster heresy. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/13 "2006-09-13T21:11:57Z")
I don’t like Miles Davis. There, I’ve said it. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/14 "2006-09-13T21:13:34Z")
Frank Sinatra, besides being a complete dickhead, was a mediocre vocalist - he sings like he’d just shat his pants and the noisome, glutinous lump was slowly slithering anklewards - who only covered easy songs and didn’t even write his own arrangements: his “timeless appeal” remains unfathomable. And My Way sucks until your ears bleed. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/15 "2006-09-13T21:19:56Z")
I hate The Cure, Bob Marley, Aviator sunglasses, “Bad News Bears” haircuts, trucker hats, and t-shirts for places that don’t exist and events that never happened. Every new band on the radio (like Ok Go and the Killers) sounds like a shitty bar cover band that likes to play My Sharona two or three times a night. ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/16 "2006-09-13T21:27:41Z")
[ul][li]I’ve never cared for the Velvet Underground.[/li][li]I like Green Day. I even liked them before “American Idiot”.[/li][li]Not every film made in Hong Kong is a work of stunning genius.[/li][li]Not every film made in Hollywood is an utter piece of crap.[/li][li]Clove cigarettes smell like ass.[/li][li]Swing dancing didn’t cease to be fun in 1997.[/li][li]Truffaut made better movies than Godard.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/17 "2006-09-13T21:36:11Z")
Thank you for the opportunity to say this: **Napoleon Dynamite** was a complete piece of shite. Another negative vote for **Miles Davis** --in fact, I don’t like jazz in general. ANY clothing with the designer’s name prominently displayed; listen, dickweed, I paid for the freakin’ thing and now I get to give you free advertising? Nuh uh! Wine. Red Bull, Rockstar, or any so-called “energy” drink. Stuff tastes like my socks, and I can get a better buzz from a 65 cent can of Mountain Dew! I feel better now. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/18 "2006-09-13T21:36:42Z")
I find Kurt Vonnegut to be boring and didactic. And I second everything **Scissorjack** said about Frank Sinatra. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/19 "2006-09-13T21:42:03Z")
I like some of Vonnegut’s work, but I once said I considered him a poor writer, and certainly not “literature” on the SDMB - and got jumped on variously. However I’m now biting my tongue about the Sinatra comments. Grr. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588/20 "2006-09-13T22:05:42Z")
Hipster Cred: I only find out about new bands by seeing them in concert: I don’t listen to mainstream radio at all. I feel weird buying music without at least 3 completely different genres of CDs in my hand. Heresy: – I like Heart. In an unironic way. Now, I won’t go so far to say that I like their 80’s stuff 🙂 but _Dreamboat Annie_ is great. – Ironic t-shirts are stupid unless they’re vintage. Made-faded faux vintage is even worse (although I do wear my made-faded “Dew U” t-shirt when I don’t have anything else to wear.) – AOL provides good, if overpriced, dialup service. – “Starship Troopers” is a witty parody, _and_ sort of lame and a mockery of the book, both at the same time (hipsters have to have an opinion on it one way or another.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/commit-hipster-heresy/372588.md?page=2)