# Common courtesies that apparently aren't so common **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 9, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735 "2013-10-09T00:55:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/21 "2013-10-09T15:27:20Z")
Waiting until the end of “The Star-Spangled Banner” before clapping and cheering. ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/22 "2013-10-09T15:40:05Z")
Giving an update to personal threads in IMHO. Yes, you have all of my best wishes and prayers for your surgery, job interview, blind date, court hearing, swim across the Pacific Ocean in a bear costume, etc, but please, tell me how it went afterwards. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/23 "2013-10-09T15:41:10Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > …The kitty litter lives in there too, so the dog doesn’t dig through it for the crunchy kitty granola treats. (Bleargh.) … Hehe. Ah, yes: cat poop snacks. 😃 I agree with the lack of courtesy-isms as presented in this thread. I believe most of them can be explained by: (1) People walking around/driving with their fucking heads up their fucking asses, and (2) Due to (1), assuming they are the only people …(a) alive on the Planet Earth, and …(b) who MATTER. I mean, c’mon, look around at other people, other drivers, at trash, at the ground, at the person serving you in the restaurant or grocery store, at what needs a tiny amount of effort to improve/pick up/make someone’s day. Self-centered assholes. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/24 "2013-10-09T15:44:23Z")
I always thank the bagger at the grocery store. Most people just ignore them. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/25 "2013-10-09T15:59:01Z")
> [@Orville\_mogul](#): > > Giving an update to personal threads in IMHO. > > Yes, you have all of my best wishes and prayers for your surgery, job interview, blind date, court hearing, swim across the Pacific Ocean in a bear costume, etc, but please, tell me how it went afterwards. :smack: Well, in ours, we had to put [the basset hound to sleep](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=540817) because of this problem, and who wants to read (or even type) that? Anyway… am I the first to say “Thank You” notes? ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/26 "2013-10-09T16:05:31Z")
Not frantically checking your e-mail/texting/web-surfing on your smart phone when you’re out to dinner or in a similar social setting. So fucking rude, and yet so ubiquitous maybe it’s not even a common courtesy. Similarly, walking down a crowded city street glued to your smart phone. Christ forbid you shouldn’t be hyper-stimulated every goddamn second of the day, you self-absorbed ass. You’re holding the rest of us up, and missing out on everything that’s going on around you. People seem to get absolutely panicked at the thought of being present for even 5 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/27 "2013-10-09T16:45:41Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Not frantically checking your e-mail/texting/web-surfing on your smart phone when you’re out to dinner or in a similar social setting. So fucking rude, and yet so ubiquitous maybe it’s not even a common courtesy. > > Similarly, walking down a crowded city street glued to your smart phone. Christ forbid you shouldn’t be hyper-stimulated every goddamn second of the day, you self-absorbed ass. You’re holding the rest of us up, and missing out on everything that’s going on around you. People seem to get absolutely panicked at the thought of being present for even 5 minutes. Word. Every. Single. Letter. [QUOTE=Prof. Pepperwinkle] I stand up when a woman enters the room. Lately, I’ve gotten strange looks for doing that, but it’s how I was raised. [/QUOTE] There was a thread around here a while ago about how women thought that was creepy. The essence: doing that was the equivlent of “schwing!” For me - not driving like an a-hole - just let people pass you, and let people merge in front of you - in fact, just wave them in - is that so hard? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/28 "2013-10-09T17:05:43Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > I stand up when a woman enters the room. Lately, I’ve gotten strange looks for doing that, but it’s how I was raised. I also hold the door open and let people in before me. > [@snowthx](#): > > There was a thread around here a while ago about how women thought that was creepy. The essence: doing that was the equivlent of “schwing!” What women?? Not me. I absolutely LOVE it. IMHO if you want a man with really good manners, you have to find a guy over 70. Younger men have been brainwashed and emasculated by a couple of generations of women to a point where common courtesy/respect has come to be defensively labeled as patronizing. I had a very young friend (guy age 23) who used to do this only a few short years ago-- stood up when a woman came back to the table, even in the student cafeteria at the community college. I was dazzled, not only by the old-fashioned manners, but that he had the [del]balls[/del] confidence to do it in front of his peers, male and female, who probably laughed. I don’t know what _schwing!_ means and possibly don’t want to. ---
**Author:** ![want2befree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@want2befree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2befree)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/29 "2013-10-09T17:26:30Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I don’t know what _schwing!_ means and possibly don’t want to. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/szkgylvDYA4/hqdefault.jpg "Wayne's World Shwing Shwing") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szkgylvDYA4) ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/30 "2013-10-09T17:27:13Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > What women?? Not me. I absolutely LOVE it. IMHO if you want a man with really good manners, you have to find a guy over 70. Younger men have been brainwashed and emasculated by a couple of generations of women to a point where common courtesy/respect has come to be defensively labeled as patronizing. Brainwashed and emasculated? Wow. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/31 "2013-10-09T17:30:54Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Brainwashed and emasculated? Wow. …with regard to courteous behavior toward women. I’m told some women are insulted if a guy holds the door for them. If a guy lets that stop him from being courteous… well, he shouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/32 "2013-10-09T17:34:12Z")
Hmmm…conmon courtesies, you mean like putting stuff back where you got it? Or maybe not leaving a mess in the lunchroom sink overnight? How about pulling out a new log sheet when you’ve filled in the last line of the old log sheet? Nobody does that around here, so I guess the concept isn’t all that “common”. I got into an argument with the boss about this kind of stuff and her response was that I shouldn’t be forcing my expectations on my co-workers. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/33 "2013-10-09T17:34:13Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > …with regard to courteous behavior toward women. > > I’m told some women are insulted if a guy holds the door for them. If a guy lets that stop him from being courteous… well, he shouldn’t. So, if he doesn’t agree with you, and if I don’t agree with you, he’s brainwashed and emasculated (apparently by me)? ---
**Author:** ![Kiyoshi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e19adc/32.png) [@Kiyoshi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiyoshi)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/34 "2013-10-09T17:38:16Z")
Giving up your seat on the bus to an old person is apparently dead. It makes me want to scream when the seats are filled with schoolkids and there’s a little old lady clinging on to the handrail. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/35 "2013-10-09T17:39:22Z")
I, like the Prof, was taught to show respect to a lady by standing when enters the room. I also insist on holding open the door for a lady (or a child or an elderly person or someone who can’t easily open the door on their own). ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/36 "2013-10-09T17:41:45Z")
If I’m smoking outside, I’ll move away from other people. If they get closer, I’ll move farther away, even if they’re not scowling at me. If there’s no ash tray, the butt goes in my pocket. When non-smokers visit, I smoke outside, even in winter, and even though it’s “my” house. I won’t smoke in my car if there’s a non-smoking passenger with me. I realize my house and car stink and I can’t do much about that, but at least they don’t have to breathe the smoke. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/37 "2013-10-09T17:51:10Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Not frantically checking your e-mail/texting/web-surfing on your smart phone when you’re out to dinner or in a similar social setting. So fucking rude, and yet so ubiquitous maybe it’s not even a common courtesy. Play cellphone roulette. Everyone puts their devices in the middle of the table and the first person to check their phone pays for the meal. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/38 "2013-10-09T17:53:51Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > I, like the Prof, was taught to show respect to a lady by standing when enters the room. > I also insist on holding open the door for a lady (or a child or an elderly person or someone who can’t easily open the door on their own). Hell, I don’t care if a 7 foot tall lumberjack is waltzing up behind me, I still hold the door open. It’s just the polite thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/39 "2013-10-09T17:57:02Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Brainwashed and emasculated? Wow. Not here. I’ll hold a door open for a woman in the same situations in which I’d hold a door for a man. I don’t do sexist “courtesy”. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735/40 "2013-10-09T17:57:56Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > I also insist on holding open the door for a lady (or a child or an elderly person or someone who can’t easily open the door on their own). I have found that holding the door open for everyone seems to work just fine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/common-courtesies-that-apparently-arent-so-common/670735.md?page=3)