# Communication Issues **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 31, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/communication-issues/534410 "2010-03-31T01:48:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/communication-issues/534410/21 "2010-04-01T13:15:33Z")
It sounds to me like having a fresh hot meal waiting for him is not really that important to him. Better to stop doing it, than to keep doing it while you slowly grow resentful that he doesn’t appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/communication-issues/534410/22 "2010-04-01T13:34:09Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My husband and I are lucky to both be on the same page time-wise, but I have a sister who is like this. I had my eyes opened and I understand her much better since we had an occasion to both start at the same place and go to the same place, but in two different cars. I said it would take about 25 minutes to get there; she disagreed, and thought about 10. I was dead on, and I understand her punctuality issues better now - she truly doesn’t know how long things take. It’s made it a lot better for me because I know where she’s coming from; she’s not trying to be a pain in the ass, she simply doesn’t do time estimating as well as I do (not to brag or anything, but I’m good at it). Something that has been mentioned before in these types of threads is that one problem with the chronically late is that they will always use the quickest possible time as their time estimate. So, for example, if it would take me 10 minutes to drive to work on a Sunday morning at 3 AM with no traffic on the roads and all of the traffic lights were green, then, OK – it takes me 10 minutes to drive to work! That’s the amount of time I will allow myself for this trip. People like this never account for traffic or other delays. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/communication-issues/534410/23 "2010-04-01T14:27:52Z")
Then there’s the type ofperson who, when you say “we need to leave by 4:00”, think that 4:00 means that they should check their e-mail, hop in the shower, put on some makeup, check their e-mail again, get dressed, take a little nap, check their e-mail again, then search for their keys. THEN leave. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/communication-issues/534410/24 "2010-04-01T15:36:29Z")
I freely admit that I am the time-challenged one in my marriage (although I would like to point out that while my beloved is usually ready to head out the door at just the time he set, his getting-ready time seems to include getting only himself ready, leaving kid and dog issues to his time-challenged wife). I’m not being passive aggressive (nor am I usually appallingly late, for that matter); I simply don’t have a ‘feel’ for time and I’m far too optimistic about how long it will take to complete any given task. But a question, driven by idle curiosity: where do the differences in ‘time sense’ come from, would you think? Our distant ancestors surely measured time by less precise units than hours and minutes. Are punctual people born or made? ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/communication-issues/534410/25 "2010-04-01T15:43:03Z")
I can’t say really. I have a good time sense for how long it takes to get from point A to point B because I pay attention and because I’ve lived in this state most of my life. My mother has lived in MA longer than I have and she probably couldn’t tell you how long it takes to get from my house to her house (although she comes here at least twice per week). She also has no sense of direction and can’t find her way around the city she has lived in for about 25 years. When the BF and I were first moving in together, we were looking for yard sales in his hometown. He had lived in this town for 26 years (his whole life) except when he was in a dorm. I had never lived in that town. We had to buy a map. By the time we were done going to yard sales, I could find my way around town with no problem. He STILL has a hard time finding his way around and it has been 10 years! Some people have a sense of direction and time. Some people do not. My mother has Adult ADD and is on medication so maybe that is part of her problem. My BF does not. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/communication-issues/534410/26 "2010-04-01T15:52:35Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > But a question, driven by idle curiosity: where do the differences in ‘time sense’ come from, would you think? Our distant ancestors surely measured time by less precise units than hours and minutes. Are punctual people born or made? I attribute mine to my refusal to wear a watch for years. My time sense is amazing- I can go for a nap and wake up to the minute whenever I like. In fact, if I wake up a bit early I will often- without consciously knowing what I’m doing- lay there with my eyes closed until I suddenly decide to wake up, only to notice that I happened to just lay there thinking until the right minute had arrived. However there are times in my life where I have been non-punctual (in a culturally appropriate way.) It’s just a different way of thinking about things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/communication-issues/534410.md?page=1)