I knew that.
Yes, that’s more accurate. I was trying to distinguish it from my use of “ça va”. 
I’m only at Level 103 at Alliance Française…
[sub]going back to French lessons in January[/sub]
No, from my 1962 exploratory French class, I remember that “Como tallé vu?” (the U should have an accent ague, but I’m too lazy to find it) actually means “Did you see Perry sing ‘The Banana Boat Song’?” 
In Australian English, that’s precisely what I did say (as **Sevastopol ** has already pointed out).
You’re a bad, bad man. 
It’s not completely impossible.
Actually, using the first person singular (like in spanish) to adress someone is normally not done. However, in some very rare instances (like once every 2-3 years) I heard it used nevertheless. IME, it is used :
-By working class people
-Unsure whether they should use “tu” or “vous” or uncomfortable with both.
-Middle-aged or older (50+ yo)
For example, the fist time I heard it, I was holding a temporary job on a line in a factory. A woman who was working besides me used it consistently as long as I stayed there. I didn’t really fit in :
-I was there on a temporary job while everybody else has been working there for years or dozens of years (actually it seemed to be an hereditary job, where daughters suceded to mothers by right of birth, or something)
-I was much younger than everybody else apart from one of the second generation workers.
-I was a student working the night shift, as opposed to blue collars, and the only one.
-I was the only male on the line (roughly 20 persons), apart from the supervisor, whose job seemingly consisted in looking important, walking around shouting at people from time to time, and bowing to the managers when they came in. Actually, I was the only male working on a line in the whole company, all lines and all shifts included.
I think that these unusual differences made this coworker uneased about using “tu” , and that at the same time I still was just a coworker doing exactly the same job, and much younger, so “vous” didn’t seem correct to her, either. So, she used “il” when adressing me. Though intrigued, I never asked her why.
I always used “vous”, since she was much older.
cet autobus (autobus est masculin)
quel dommage (dommage est masculin)
Since this thread has contained many (since corrected) linguistic errors, and nitpicking seems to be the order of the day (this is GQ after all), I’ll point out that it’s a third person singular construction, not first person.
I’m sure that clairobscur is aware of this, and no disrespect is intended, but since we’re talking about pronoun usage in different languages, I’m adding the correction in the spirit of GQ.
In English, the use of the third person in place of the second suggests a dehumanisation of the person being spoken to, as in Buffalo Bill’s line from The Silence of the Lambs (when giving direct orders to a captive):
Gah! This is worse than Miss Phillip’s dictées in grade nine! twitch
ahem
Er, thanks, Arnold. All these things I’m forgetting. Definitely time to get back to the lessons… I seem to remember sdomeone saying, assume the word is masculine if you’re not sure–unless it ends in ‘-tion’–but did I remember? Noooo…
True, but there is also an older usage of ‘it’ when referring to children.
I was rather surprised to find this usage in one of the Narnia books when referring to the protagonists, who were as old as ten or twelve! Nowadays, we tend to use this of babies, if at all. Hence the traditional call: “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!”. I suspect that nowadays this is the last time ‘it’ is commonly used of children.
I would say that’s not the same thing as using the third-person singular to talk to someone, which is what I think clairobscur’s experience was. In English “it” is used to refer to grown-ups all the time:
“Did anyone see who fell?” “No, but it’s definitely a man. I can see his beard.”
I can’t recall hearing of anyone in English regularly addressing people as “it” except either for the depersonalization or as some kind of cutesy talk (“Ooh, it has been a very naughty boy!”)
Clairobscur, I am having the hardest time picturing this. Do you mean that this woman who couldn’t figure out if she should tutoie or vouvoie you would, to your face, call you “il”? As in, “Clairobscur, est-ce qu’il travaille à midi?” (Clairobscur, he is working at noon - when she means, “are you working at noon?”)
That is so very weird if she did talk to you like that. Just as weird as it would be in English.
Exactly, without the “Clairobscur” at the beginning, though.
Yes, it was weird, especially since it was the first time I met someone doing so, but not shockingly so, probably because it came naturally from her. However it has not been the last time (but the only one when I was exposed to it for any lenght of time), so I suspect this use is or used to be part of some sub-culture (maybe perhaps a regional one).
Whoa, that is very odd. I would have been so confused talking to her: “He? Who is “he”? Or are you talking to me?”
Weird! Those wacky French.
Amusing thread from a francophone point of view.
As to “il va”: never heard and certainly never will, as a question or a greeting. Unless you’re asked about another person’s health: *Comment-va-t-il *? Answer: il va bien, or il ne va pas très bien or “ll va…” meaning so and so, but that would be uncommon.
That has to be one of the simplest, most straightforward GQ questions ever and we’re up to post 34 and counting…
Check out David Sedaris’s short stories “Make Mine a Double” and “Me Talk Pretty One Day” for some hilarious observations by an American learning to speak French. You won’t regret it.
Wouldn’t a more colloquial translation of the Hal Briston line be this?
“I forgot where I put my sheep, but I saw Hal in that bus there,” implying that he’d absconded with the ewe.
Well, I intended, “I forgot where the sheep may be found, but I saw Hal Briston in that bus there.” Yes, I know I forgot the accent grave on the u in où. In addition to my other mistakes.
and again I say it’s a non-sequitur (or however that’s spelled)
No. It should be vas-tu.