# Complaining on the internet: Not worthy of scorn **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 2, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801 "2013-09-02T14:44:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/1 "2013-09-02T14:44:36Z")
Frequently, our fellow members here come here to unburden themselves of complaints, sometimes heavy, sometimes petty. And there’s always someone who will respond along the lines of “Why don’t you do X instead of complaining on the internet?” or “So your Y is doing Z for you and all you can bring yourself to do is complain on the internet?” Come on, folks. The internet is a perfect forum for complaining. Traditionally people complain to their close friends, but in the hectic world in which we live in today, sometimes friends are difficult to corner. And here is this convenient IMHO forum where one can unburden oneself in the company of internet “friends.” When people have trouble in life or relationships, complaining is important. I have made important decisions in my life that began with complaining to friends. Sometimes those decisions were to take a significant step. Sometimes those decisions were to realize that things are the way they should be. Sometimes it was a decision to realize that whatever was going on was something I should stop concerning myself with. Complaining—whether to friends or to the internet—is not worthy of scorn and derision. It’s an important tool in human relationships and decision-making. So, when someone comes in with complaints, how about not acting as if “complaining on the internet” is an act worthy of scorn? ---
**Author:** ![Strangeland64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@Strangeland64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strangeland64)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/2 "2013-09-02T15:56:02Z")
I kinda agree… there are just things I just can’t say in real life. It’s good to be able to say what I REALLY think sometimes. And there is always the ignore button if someone is rubbing me the wrong way . ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/3 "2013-09-02T16:57:39Z")
This is weak sauce and a first-world problem. People are dying in Africa, and you’re complaining about people who complain about people who complain online? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/4 "2013-09-02T18:03:34Z")
In about a week, I plan to start a thread about people who complain about people who complain about people who complain on the internet. 🙂 Nah, I agree with the OP - sometimes you gotta bitch, and people in real life aren’t always the people you want to bitch to (and often are the people you’re bitching _about_). And sometimes the complaints are tiny, indeed, and you realize they are tiny and not worth getting too worked up about, so you go to a mini-rants thread where the complaints are indeed tiny. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/5 "2013-09-02T18:11:47Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > This is weak sauce and a first-world problem. People are dying in Africa, and you’re complaining about people who complain about people who complain online? Exactly! 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/6 "2013-09-02T18:32:10Z")
Eh, just as in real life, a little complaining is normal but if its all you do, then you’re boring. If all you want to do is vent, and not hear responses, find a blog. By posting it on a message board you are asking others to comment; if their comments aren’t to your liking you’ve no one to blame but yourself for choosing the wrong medium for your bitching. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/7 "2013-09-02T18:40:06Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Eh, just as in real life, a little complaining is normal but if its all you do, then you’re boring. > > If all you want to do is vent, and not hear responses, find a blog. By posting it on a message board you are asking others to comment; if their comments aren’t to your liking you’ve no one to blame but yourself for choosing the wrong medium for your bitching. I agree with this. Posting in IMHO means you are looking for advice and opinions, an no fair saying “I just wanted sympathy” if the advice is not to your liking. However, just snarking in a thread “Quit bitching!” is really thread shitting: it’s not advice. But real suggestions are totally fair game, and sometimes suggesting ways for someone put the problem into perspective is a type of advice. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/8 "2013-09-02T19:06:42Z")
I think the internet is wonderful for complaints. People bemoan the lack of politeness on the internet, but I think politeness is what makes the real world suck sometimes. Not only can you go all out in your rants on the internet (like calling your mother a bitch), but others can tell you exactly how they feel too. None of that stupid pretense that you see in the real world, where everyone holds back out of fear of hurting a person’s feelings. I am probably guilty of sayng this too, but the “Why do you care?” posts piss me off sometimes. Is it really the worse thing in the world for someone to point out something mundane and comment on it? I mean, I would agree that in the real world mundane commentary has little place, especially when you’re at work, talking someone’s ear off. But on a message board, where you have the freedom to ignore a conversation if you don’t care for it? Don’t be a thread pooper, people. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/9 "2013-09-02T20:06:25Z")
So what is the problem with complaints - large or small? Sometimes it is enough to know that you are, for instance, not the only one who is annoyed at idiots waiting in line for 15 minutes at Burger King, and when they finally get to the head of the line and are asked what they want to order, only then do they look at the menu and go, “Hmm…what do I want…?” Huge problem in the grand scheme of things? No. But you got it off your chest, and chances are a few others agree with you. I do find it sort of odd when someone will come in and say, “I am peeing blood, there are worms in my stool, puss is oozing from my eyeballs and I can’t move my right arm or leg - should I see a doctor?” That kind of problem does warrant an answer of, “Why don’t you do X instead of complaining on the internet?” with “X” being, go to an emergency room, stat. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/10 "2013-09-02T20:48:46Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > I agree with this. Posting in IMHO means you are looking for advice and opinions, an no fair saying “I just wanted sympathy” if the advice is not to your liking. > > However, just snarking in a thread “Quit bitching!” is really thread shitting: it’s not advice. But real suggestions are totally fair game, and sometimes suggesting ways for someone put the problem into perspective is a type of advice. There’s a difference between (1) offering advice or opinions on the _subject_ of a complaint, and (2) criticizing a complainer for complaining on the internet. No. 2 is what I’m getting at. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/11 "2013-09-02T20:59:45Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I think the internet is wonderful for complaints. People bemoan the lack of politeness on the internet, but I think politeness is what makes the real world suck sometimes. Not only can you go all out in your rants on the internet (like calling your mother a bitch), but others can tell you exactly how they feel too. None of that stupid pretense that you see in the real world, where everyone holds back out of fear of hurting a person’s feelings. I don’t understand this attitude at all, basic civility and politeness are what smooths social interactions and helps make the world a much more pleasant place to live in for everyone. I think concern about hurting another persons feelings is a laudable attribute. That some _(many?)_ other people don’t explains a lot, and furthermore just because its on the internet doesn’t mean there isn’t another flesh and blood real person on the other end of the communication. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/12 "2013-09-02T21:03:29Z")
> [@Disposable Hero](#): > > I don’t understand this attitude at all, basic civility and politeness are what smooths social interactions and helps make the world a much more pleasant place to live in for everyone. > > I think concern about hurting another persons feelings is a laudable attribute. That some _(many?)_ other people don’t explains a lot, and furthermore just because its on the internet doesn’t mean there isn’t another flesh and blood real person on the other end of the communication. Because sometimes you might _need_ to refer to your mother as a “bitch.” Obviously, it’s best not to let her know you’re doing it, so you say it to a friend or the anonymous internet. No one gets hurt that way. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaining-on-the-internet-not-worthy-of-scorn/667801/13 "2013-09-02T21:06:12Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Because sometimes you might _need_ to refer to your mother as a “bitch.” Obviously, it’s best not to let her know you’re doing it, so you say it to a friend or the anonymous internet. No one gets hurt that way. Ah, I misread that slightly, I see where you’re coming from now, I thought monstro meant talking directly to another poster online meant you didn’t need to be concerned about basic civility, because its not as if its a real conversation or person (which I is an attitude _have_ heard before).