# Complaint **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [January 28, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636 "2013-01-28T18:49:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/21 "2013-01-29T00:28:12Z")
TT, running around demanding apologies probably isn’t going to get you very far. Develop a thicker skin. This is, after all, part of THE INTERNET, where anonymity tends to reduce social graces; and lack of body language and vocal nuances in the purely written word reduces the ability to understand words as they are intended and introduces greater personal bias in interpretation. And honestly, take everything said on this board about 99% less seriously. As far as your thread, based on board experience, it would not be at all unusual for the combination of the username and the thread to indicate spam or trollery. Stick around a while and you’ll see what we mean by that. Especially in the months where SDMB gets some exposure and we get a flood of trolls, spammers and low grade morons. (2012 was a good year for that. Be patient with us, we saw a lot of that shit!) And remember that whole ‘much less seriously’ thing. You’ll need it. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/22 "2013-01-29T01:03:21Z")
> [@TopTom](#): > > I did not argue against these people, I clearly stated they were wrong and they are, as are you. Thanks for clearing that up. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/23 "2013-01-29T01:43:52Z")
As the mod who closed that thread, I’ll further explain that it was just not a good way to start off a thread. As a few others have said, it really did look like promoting your own cause a little by way of spam with the multi-colored words and phrases and way you put things. So there was that. But then you seemed to want to know what other poster’s opinions were. If you’re looking for thoughts on an issue, not everyone is going to agree with you or share the same like. The topic seemed to go off the rails early on and it didn’t look like it was going to improve. The combination of jokey, poke-fun replies and your insistence that everyone else was attacking you or wrong and demanding them to apologize was just going to turn it into a bigger trainwreck than it already was. As I said, if you wish to really get opinions on a subject, that’s fine…then maybe be more open to ideas that may differ from yours and grow a thicker skin at jokes that may be made (rather than to call them “juvenile” over and over). People making jokes on here about subject matter happens–especially with what it was in this case–and it doesn’t mean they’re attacking you or being rude. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/24 "2013-01-29T03:11:20Z")
> [@TopTom](#): > > …the first thing that came to my mind was “TopTom” indicating that I was the top of the Toms. 😕:dubious::mad: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/25 "2013-01-29T08:19:47Z")
[ul] [li]Threads titled 'What do you think about [some website]?" are very often spam.[/li][li]Shitty websites selling counterfeit goods, or perpetrating outright scams, often have ‘top’ and ‘free’ in the domain name.[/li][li]The OP chose a user name that sounds linked to the domain name.[/li][li]First post just reads like an advert for the site. Text formatting looked like links (actually just blue text)[/li][/ul] Regardless whether it _is_ spam, it’s easy to see why people would perceive it that way. It presses a lot of buttons. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/26 "2013-01-29T09:42:18Z")
Welcome to the Straight Dope, **TopTom**. I think that the topic you introduced was reasonable. My first husband’s grandfather used to sit on his front porch with binoculars just waiting of any glimpse of a woman’s ankle as she boarded a trolly or bus. The ankle was supposed to remain concealed (by general agreement). So it gave the old man a thrill to get a glimpse at what was usually covered. I don’t disapprove of the idea of freedom for women to bare their “bodacious tatas.” I know of women who, when on their own land in a rural area, do just that. A woman who hasn’t held a baby chick to her bare chest has missed one of life’s guiltless pleasures. I’ve been to a nude beach in Denmark or the island of Bornholm – can’t remember. Both pieces of my swim suit stayed on. There were some who were dressed or partially dressed and others who were “buck necked.” I got over what I was seeing around me fairly quickly. I can’t imagine that “ba-Zooms” would stay tantilizing for long any more than a woman’s ankles. But I definitely support gender equality – so why not? A word of caution from an old member: Don’t demand apologies. That’s a losing battle. Apologies are freely given or they are worth nothing. But to set an example, you might consider being quick to apologize when you are wrong. I do think that some were a little hard on you, but that happens here a lot, often for good reason. Just learn to live with it. I don’t think the mods were wrong in this case. > [@](#): > > **TopTom** : I did not argue against these people, I clearly stated they were wrong and they are, as are you. That attitude will get you nowhere fast. We _all_ think we are right. It is better to argue the point politely rather than to declare someone wrong. We won’t believe it just from your saying it. The rule must have changed concerning three letter names. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/27 "2013-01-29T14:21:12Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > … > > I think (we) too many times jump on ‘noobs’ like a wolf pack on fresh meat. > > … I think it was his multiple use of the blue font. We’re on that like a hobo on a free doughnut. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/28 "2013-01-29T23:39:13Z")
> [@TopTom](#): > > Idle Thoughts, as is the case with the people who claimed I was being disingenuous, you are wrong. I did not post a message primarily intended to promote a cause, venture, organization, event, website or other entity or activity.” I simply asked a question and then provided information, explaining what some may not be fully aware of. I was not trying to promote anything so you are wrong. The problem is that your post appears to be a spam posting, i.e. a blanket posting spread generically around the internet not concerned with conversation, but merely drawing traffic to your site. The appearance of you being the owner or operator of the site being the username having similarity to the topic of the thread and the organization name. Add to that blue text, which is typically used on the internet to indicate links. Complicated by the fact that these are not links. Thus the response of many posters that you were probably “trolling”, i.e. posting to stir up trouble rather than actually interested in discussion. Aiding that assessment is your response to people by calling them juvenile and demanding an apology. Dude, it’s the internet - juvenile is de riguer, and damanding an apology is as fruitless as a non-fruity thing (yeah, I can’t do analogies). To me, it does sound like you have a reasonable topic for discussion, and people were being hasty in their accusations. Of which, suggesting you were a troll was probably something that should have been modded, since accusations of trolling are not allowed except in the BBQ Pit. But since that thread is closed, I’m not going to report them now, though I am mentioning it here for **Idle Thoughts** to consider. > [@](#): > > Also, what does the name I am registered with have anything to do with anything? I wanted to use the name Tom, which is my name, but was told to use a name with more than three words, the first thing that came to my mind was “TopTom” indicating that I was the top of the Toms. This seems disingenuous. You post about a topic “topfreedom” and your username uses a variant of top in it. But you are claiming that there’s no intended connection? > [@](#): > > The decent thing would have been to delete or censor the people who were incorrectly saying I was disingenuous, which you did not do, but which you still could do. This board doesn’t delete or censor remarks like that, though he could have moderated the posters to reserve judgment and not make accusations of trolling outside the Pit. > [@Troppus](#): > > Just to clarify, the sight of cleavage causes you to clutch your pearls, but you’re cool with bare, free range breasts? How’s that work? He didn’t say that at all. A different thread about a different topic, where he posted in the context that society views cleavage in a certain manner, not that he personally freeks out about it. > [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > True facts about slothses. > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrUM8m2rnP0](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrUM8m2rnP0) HILARIOUS! Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/29 "2013-01-30T00:00:09Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > This seems disingenuous. You post about a topic “topfreedom” and your username uses a variant of top in it. But you are claiming that there’s no intended connection? In fairness, this was the fourth thread started by **TopTom** and the other three had nothing to do with going topless so it does seem like it was truly a coincidence. That said… I thought the exact same thing as the others. Thread about going topless… user name TopTom… organization in title topfreedom… join date this month… long hard to follow post with lots of blue font… this must be spam. I do think it is interesting though that he hasn’t bothered to weigh in in the Great Debates thread he was directed to. It appears to be discussing civilly the topic he wanted to discuss. If he is waiting for all of those apologies before he posts again then I guess we have heard the last from him. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/30 "2013-01-30T00:16:32Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > I do think it is interesting though that he hasn’t bothered to weigh in in the Great Debates thread he was directed to. **It appears to be discussing civilly the topic he wanted to discuss.** If he is waiting for all of those apologies before he posts again then I guess we have heard the last from him. Given his reaction to criticism and the fact that he hasn’t returned to this thread, I’d say that civil discussion which people who might disagree with him may not be his strong suit. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/31 "2013-01-30T03:18:18Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > > [@TopTom](#): > > > > …the first thing that came to my mind was “TopTom” indicating that I was the top of the Toms. > > +:confused::dubious::mad: > > 😛 Clearly, the acme of of wishful thinking. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/32 "2013-01-30T03:31:42Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/33 "2013-01-30T04:05:27Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > nm You owe us all an apology! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/34 "2013-01-30T04:22:21Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Clearly, the acme of of wishful thinking. > > 😃 And we all know how Acme treats Wile E. Coyote. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/35 "2013-01-30T12:16:24Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Clearly, the acme of of wishful thinking. > > 😃 It’s like when I was fifteen and I kept wishing my acme would clear up. ---
**Author:** ![anson2995](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@anson2995](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anson2995)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/36 "2013-01-30T13:53:32Z")
This is the most fascinating sociological experiment we’ve seen in these parts for a long time. Please continue… ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/37 "2013-01-30T14:08:42Z")
**TopTom** , just for future reference, using the _exact same opening post_ as you did on a _closed thread_ is not a good idea. The least you could have done is edit it to look less like Spam. In consideration of current actions, I predict a very brief career on teh SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/38 "2013-01-30T14:11:27Z")
In light of recent events, would the mods please cancel my recent request to change my name to TopLieu? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/39 "2013-01-30T14:56:34Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > **TopTom** , just for future reference, using the _exact same opening post_ as you did on a _closed thread_ is not a good idea. The least you could have done is edit it to look less like Spam. > > In consideration of current actions, I predict a very brief career on teh SDMB. Yeah, [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=680697) pretty much proves everybody that called **TopTom** a troll/spammer/idiot correct. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636/40 "2013-01-30T15:03:34Z")
Boy, you can type at this guy until you’re blue in the font and he just doesn’t get it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complaint/648636.md?page=3)