# Compleat List of Fexual Acts **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 27, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005 "2000-07-27T03:41:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2000, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/21 "2000-07-27T23:20:25Z")
33: **Digicarnix** : An injury sustained while attempting to use a DVD for mastubatory purposes. 34: **Digicarnixorhhea** : A form of disease contracted after sustaining Digicarnix from an improperly disinfected DVD. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2000, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/22 "2000-07-27T23:20:27Z")
Great balls of bunghole: To light a roman candle and stick it in your ass. Vaginal rocket: The act of shooting a bottle rocket from the vagina. [DISCLAIMER: Kids, don’t try this at home] ---
**Author:** ![alfred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/13edae/32.png) [@alfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alfred)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2000, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/23 "2000-07-27T23:25:42Z")
32: Zimmergrunge - to felate a zimmerframe with the result of ejaculation ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/24 "2000-07-28T01:17:38Z")
37: KY-Gerrymandering: The rearranging of political boundaries so the hookers in your area of town don’t violate the county line against prostitution. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/25 "2000-07-28T02:39:30Z")
Gefilte Felching: The act of sucking semen (or _milt_) out of a pickled fish. ---
**Author:** ![speakeasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@speakeasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/speakeasy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/26 "2000-07-28T06:00:36Z")
1. Touchdown - Slipping from ass kissing to brown nosing due to inadequate depth perception. ---
**Author:** ![2nd\_Law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f475e1/32.png) [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/27 "2000-07-28T23:30:43Z")
[The map of Felch, Michigan](http://www.mapquest.com/cgi-bin/ia_find?link=btwn/twn-map_results&zoom_level=9&uid=u3d3eemci6_4o8te:bw562l5zt&SNVData=3mad3-96,hr%3brshftl%3d%3dya5080%24tw2%28%3a%28%19j2xp%3dED_%3dGG_q41w00%28.5zyldy%28l%241w-u) ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/28 "2000-07-28T23:57:43Z")
Dear sweet Jesus, there is such a place…oh lord, all my illusions about Michigan are shattered forever…ummm…assuming I had any to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![DropOfaHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/35a633/32.png) [@DropOfaHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DropOfaHat)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/29 "2000-08-01T20:30:36Z")
40: Portabellingus - Eating the mushroooms out of a poorly-groomed private area. 41: Spiro-coli-gyrating - Conracting a venereal disease while screwing to jazz music. 42: Cataractivity - Like oculingus (self-explanatory), but on a really old person. 44: Curding - drinking (eating?) breast milk after it has been sitting on the night table for a week. GOD help ua all… ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/30 "2000-08-01T20:41:26Z")
I believe I get the award for using the first made-up Fexual act in a serious Pit thread. The phrase in question was “malibu Barbie Flanger.” Use your imagination, kids. The thread in question was my “there’s trouble in this here city!” one. Too lazy gloating in my award-ness to use vB. ---
**Author:** ![speakeasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@speakeasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/speakeasy)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/31 "2000-08-02T05:14:44Z")
> [@](#): > > tortellate - to rape somebody down to bedrock using l\*_ **r and a j** _e Also known as starrspanking the slick willy. Kudos to xenophon41 for warping my budding young personality. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/32 "2000-08-02T05:50:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DropOfaHat \* > \*\*40: Portabellingus - Eating the mushroooms out of a poorly-groomed private area. > > 41: Spiro-coli-gyrating - Conracting a venereal disease while screwing to jazz music. > > 42: Cataractivity - Like oculingus (self-explanatory), but on a really old person. > > 44: Curding - drinking (eating?) breast milk after it has been sitting on the night table for a week. > > GOD help ua all… \*\* Ohhhh!!! Ahhhhh!! You should post more!! I have the feeling you could be a legend here! _LOL_ ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/33 "2000-08-02T08:26:16Z")
Carnival: Partner sits on your face and you try to guess her or his weight. ---
**Author:** ![Jvanhorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jvanhorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jvanhorn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/34 "2000-08-02T09:14:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\*Dear sweet Jesus, there is such a place…oh lord, all my illusions about Michigan are shattered forever…ummm…assuming I had any to begin with. \*\* It’s OK, it’s in the UP. Hell, it’s almost in Wisconsin. And you know how they are. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/35 "2000-08-02T09:58:27Z")
Whatever happened to “mating”? That’s an odd sexual act if I ever heard of one. ---
**Author:** ![DropOfaHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/35a633/32.png) [@DropOfaHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DropOfaHat)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/36 "2000-08-02T13:22:11Z")
(assuming “carnival” is #45…) #46: FOALATIO - giving oral favors to a young horse. #47: GRISTLING - forcing tough, fatty pieces of meat into the rectum, to then be re-chewed. #48: SODAMY (sic - or should I say, sick) - a coca-cola douche (if you know what I mean) #49: PLASTERBATION - mixing semen & flour to make cute little sculptures. (Soon we’ll have one for every week of the year!) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/37 "2000-08-02T13:50:58Z")
Inflatulation : The act of blowing air into the rectum to produce farts ---
**Author:** ![magpie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magpie)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/38 "2000-08-02T14:53:47Z")
necrosquorfing - the act of gargling the spunk of a dead squirrel. spunkocularitis - a condition caused by getting semen in the eyes. pedagagging - the act of deep throating someone’s foot. rodeo sex - a style of sex in which the man says, “you’re almost as good as your sister” and then tries to hang on for 8 seconds. i know that not all of the above are Fexual =acts= per se, but they pertain to various Fexual matters, so there you have it. magpie ---
**Author:** ![Ivar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/39 "2000-08-02T15:37:38Z")
Here’s some more, frankly I’m surprised i haven’t seen them up here yet, though I have already learned a lot of new terminology. Dirty Sanchez Trombone-giving a reacharound while performing analingus Hot Karl Cleveland Steamer SnowPlow (or Wheelbarrow) The Custodian You know, you’ll have to imagine what some of those are because they are too disgusting to describe in polite company ---
**Author:** ![momerath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@momerath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/momerath)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005/40 "2000-08-02T15:39:14Z")
#61: Exacerbation–making a fexual act sound (or look?)worse than usual. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compleat-list-of-fexual-acts/27005.md?page=3)