# Complete and IMMEDIATE turnoffs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 24, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356 "2007-09-24T21:50:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shryn\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@Shryn\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shryn_King)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/1 "2007-09-24T21:50:01Z")
As I was following **Twickster’s** thread titled [_sigh_ I hate dating _grumble grumble grumble_](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=437266) I actually started thinking about dating again. I must be a glutton for punishment. Especially reading about all the games people play or are expected to play. I already know that I hate dating! Unfortunately, I also know that if I want to have companionship in my old age I’m gonna have to put myself out there. I’m not really ready to step out there though; but, I did it anyway. The reason I did it is because Sunday at church, I watched an elderly man who I have known for over 30 years and who I recently found out is having major health problems put his arm around his wife in a gesture so tender and so sweet that I started crying; because, all I could think is, “I want to be loved like that.” Well, the fact that I am PMSing probably has something to do with the tears. Now that I have given you the background, let me tell you the inspiration for this post. Actually, I have three examples that have all happened in the last 36 hours. **The first example…** There is this guy at church that people have been wanting to set me up with. I have been turning down their offers. So, after my revelation I decided that I could at least check him out. Since he was sitting a few pews in front of me and over to the side, I could do that without being too obvious. The first thing I looked at were his shoulders…not bad! I could put my hands on those. Then I went down his back and well he has a nice back. As I moved down, I found myself looking at his butt and there it was… a circular protusion in his right back pocket… A dip ring!!! :rolleyes: To me that is a complete and immediate turnoff. **The second example…** I signed back into an online site that I had used in the past. As I was using it’s search option, I saw someone that looked very familiar. I clicked on his profile and immediately saw that it was the ex-husband of a woman who used to be a very good friend of mine. I knew that they had separated several years ago. I quickly backed out of his profile and knew that he would recognize my picture and profile. Well, this morning I find that he bookmarked me. UGH! NO WAY! I saw him in action as a husband…NO WAY! :smack: **The third example…** I had never tried a site that I had seen mentioned around here, so I signed up for it last night and played around with it some. Today, I get a message from a guy who doesn’t have a picture with his profile…but, he explains why in his eloquent profile. > [@](#): > > i am just looking for ladys only to talk with sometimes u need some one to talk to im real fun to be around i can chear any girl up…maybe more never no so give me a ring u might like it …i havent put a pic of me up yet ..because i dont wont someone because of my looks..thanks for reading and not looking ha ha ha if u ever seen the chipping dells back in the early 80s u seen me//x chipping dell///// My punctuation sucks! I know I use exclamation marks when I should probably just use periods. I’m sure that as some of you are reading this your skin is crawling at my grammatical errors. But, UGH!! If I am trying to attract someone and the only thing I have to do that with is my written profile, since I don’t want to post a picture because I don’t want them to only want me for my body I think I would have at least checked my spelling!! :dubious: What are your complete and immediate turnoffs? ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/2 "2007-09-24T22:00:31Z")
heh-heh…“chipping dell” For me, it would have to be based more in beliefs than anything else. No hardcore republicans, no born-again anythings. Unless it was just for a short-term, physical thing, but that doesn’t seem to be what you’re asking. ---
**Author:** ![Shryn\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@Shryn\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shryn_King)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/3 "2007-09-24T22:08:11Z")
[QUOTE=Swampwolf] heh-heh…“chipping dell” For me, it would have to be based more in beliefs than anything else. No hardcore republicans, no born-again anythings. Unless it was just for a short-term, physical thing, but that doesn’t seem to be what you’re asking. [/QUOTE] So, are you saying that for a short-term, physical thing there is nothing that would be an immediate turnoff? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/4 "2007-09-24T22:08:53Z")
Complete and immediate turnoff? Smoking. No question about it. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/5 "2007-09-24T22:15:59Z")
[QUOTE=Shryn King] So, are you saying that for a short-term, physical thing there is nothing that would be an immediate turnoff? [/QUOTE] Good point. Sloppy-drunkenness, too great an age difference. Nothing deep. Of course, those days are long behind me. Fortunately. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/6 "2007-09-24T22:28:11Z")
Vibes, which equal body language, tone of voice, demeanor in addressing others-that sort of thing. If a guy is rude to the wait staff–buh bye. If he is patronizing and dismissive about women–buh bye. If he rolls his eyes re kids–buh…well, you get the picture. I’m not available for dating, but this is how I picture it. He needs to be somewhat fit-not ripped, not a gym junkie, but nothing that screams, “I haven’t walked further than to my car in 10 years!”. No body odor, and no cloud of cologne/aftershave/deodorant. Dip would be an automatic turnoff, as would smoking, as would making comments about other women in my presence, as would sloppy drinking and coming on too fast. I’d date a Republican (I’m married to one), but it probably wouldn’t be pretty. Absolutely no born again anythings or fundamentalists. Hmmm. This could get tricky! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/7 "2007-09-24T22:31:53Z")
Okay, I’m stumped. What’s a dip ring? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/8 "2007-09-24T22:31:58Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Complete and immediate turnoff? Smoking. No question about it. [/QUOTE] Can’t be repeated enough. I absolutely, positively will not date a smoker- even the cleanest of smokers smell so, so bad. And in that vain: hygiene. He has to smell nice or at least not smell :). As I see it, I shouldn’t have to tell a grown ass man he smells and if I have to, we have problems. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/9 "2007-09-24T22:40:23Z")
Re: Dip ring - the outline in the back pocket of the circular can of Skoal, Copenhagen, etc. Nasty stuff guys put in their mouth, and then drool and spit brown grossness into a can or on the ground all day. Dipping is an immediate turn off, yes. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/10 "2007-09-24T22:42:15Z")
I’m a married man, but i can say, unequivocally, that bad teeth are an immediate deal breaker. They don’t have to be perfect, but if it looks like the mouth of a yeti – everyone outta the pool. If you’re single, and looking to attract a partner, orthodontics have come such a LONG way. ---
**Author:** ![Shryn\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@Shryn\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shryn_King)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/11 "2007-09-24T22:42:49Z")
[QUOTE=Zoggie] Okay, I’m stumped. What’s a dip ring? [/QUOTE] I’m sure you have seen those rings in the back pocket of pants…where the wearer keeps his “dip”…[skoal,](http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/board_images/spitcans.jpg) copenhagen, or brand of choice. edited to add a comma that got lost ---
**Author:** ![Cowgirl\_Jules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Cowgirl\_Jules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowgirl_Jules)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/12 "2007-09-24T22:43:18Z")
[QUOTE=Zoggie] Okay, I’m stumped. What’s a dip ring? [/QUOTE] A worn ring on a guy’s jeans back pocket from carrying a can of chewing tobacco. Personally, I like it. Turnoffs? Submissiveness springs to mind. I don’t want a man that I can walk all over, and sometimes it’s fairly obvious. The deeply religious; I know damn well that I’m not going to get along with them. The spelling and grammar issues that **Shryn King** mentioned. I get a lot of those emails, and just treat them like spam, which they sometimes are. You can tell if someone’s fishing by the locations sometimes- why on earth would I be interested in someone on the other side of the country when my ad says within 25 miles? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/13 "2007-09-24T22:43:49Z")
[QUOTE=Shryn King] I’m sure you have seen those rings in the back pocket of pants…where the wearer keeps his “dip”…[skoal](http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/board_images/spitcans.jpg) copenhagen, or brand of choice. [/QUOTE] Tobacky?! And not even wacky tobacky at that? Agreed, that’s a turn off. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/14 "2007-09-24T23:02:44Z")
Smoking, drugs, drinks too much, can’t handle their finances, inactive, long-term jobless, people with too much drama, unkind to animals. All immediate turnoffs from a dating perspective - I might get along with the person fine socially but those are things I just don’t want to deal with in a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/15 "2007-09-24T23:11:27Z")
Perhaps this makes me shallow, but _immediate_ turn off would be hygiene issues: Greasy hair, mossy teeth, bad breath, crusty eyes, nose, or mouth. (Insert pukey smiley here.) Bad manners is a pretty complete turn-off for me as well, but again it has to be pretty extreme: Things like burping or farting or smacking your food in your open mouth, not things like not opening a door. In terms of personal behaviors, anything that embarrasses me is a complete turn-off and it goes without saying it’s a complete turn-off to be made to feel unsafe. Conversationally, the only thing I can think of that would be an immediate turn off would be vocalizing offensive prejudice. Other than these, I think I’ll need to talk to a guy for a while before I can pin-point why I won’t like him. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/16 "2007-09-24T23:22:09Z")
When a girl admits that she doesn’t feel very much, emotionally. I’m too sensitive (touchy, some might say) to date somebody who’s cold. I learned that lesson the hard, whiny way, as my other thread indicates. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/17 "2007-09-24T23:26:53Z")
Smoking, nothing is as complete and obvious. In the past I’ve tried to make it work, but nope…never again. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/18 "2007-09-24T23:41:28Z")
Bad teeth Tounge piercing(s) Hairy back (squicks me right out) Too much cologne Dip/snuff user Bigot/racist Pompous arrogant assholes are a complete turn off. In email, bad spelling and grammar will get you deleted without a reply. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/19 "2007-09-24T23:42:04Z")
Chewing tobacco. Ew. That would be definitely an immediate turn-off. Apart from the more obvious stuff (like bad hygiene and extreme drug use) there is a certain vibe that I get from guys that I call the “Asian fetish” vibe. It’s when I get the feeling that the guy likes Asian girls because of some weird idea he has of them being submissive/exotic/etc. It’s usually pretty evident within 10 minutes of talking to the guy. That is a definite turn-off for me. ETA: Oh yeah, too much hair as well. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356/20 "2007-09-25T00:04:28Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Complete and immediate turnoff? Smoking. No question about it. [/QUOTE] Me too. And stupidity. I dated a woman who was sexy as hell, but my cat is smarter. I gave her a second chance as she was that good looking, but _damn_. Not doing too well now on the dating scene, I must admit. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complete-and-immediate-turnoffs/420356.md?page=2)