# Complex sexuality q for straight guys **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2005, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164 "2005-10-07T10:02:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/1 "2005-10-07T10:02:02Z")
Do you often feel like you’re a lesbian trapped in a man’s body? I do. ---
**Author:** ![Catalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Catalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catalyst)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/2 "2005-10-07T10:10:47Z")
Complex indeed. I’ve got to wonder: with only 29 posts in the year you’ve been registered, you clearly don’t post very often; what prompted you to come out of lurking on this occasion? ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/3 "2005-10-07T10:25:32Z")
This is so old. Just…just quit it out. There should be a new SDMB rule that specifically mentions automatic banning for ever starting an OP with this in it. -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/4 "2005-10-07T10:34:58Z")
> [@Tomcat](#): > > This is so old. Just…just quit it out. > > There should be a new SDMB rule that specifically mentions automatic banning for ever starting an OP with this in it. > > -Tcat Er… if I’ve committed some sort of SDMB faux pas please enlighten me? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/5 "2005-10-07T10:46:30Z")
It’s a very old, not funny joke that it seems like way too many new (hetero) male posters to this board come up with at one point or another. “Ha ha, I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, isn’t that funny?” No, no it’s not. Besides the fact that it isn’t original by any stretch of the imagination to the point where it’s like thinking asking a tall guy “How’s the weather up there?” is unique and hilarious, it also can be demeaning to transgendered people who really do have to deal with real feelings like that and extreme discomfort with having what they feel is the wrong body. (Somehow I doubt you really want male-to-female transgender surgery, judging by how you worded your “plight”.) ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/6 "2005-10-07T11:04:55Z")
Er, there seems to be some confusion here over my motives. I am aware that this line has been used by one or more stand-up comedians. However, I was asking a serious question. And I don’t think I was saying anything about any ‘plight’ that I’m having. Maybe it’s just 'cos I saw ‘Being John Malkovich’ on DVD yesterday and it got me to thinking. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/7 "2005-10-07T11:12:11Z")
OK then, if it’s an earnest question (of which I am not personally convinced, no matter how hard you backpedal), my answer is: No, I don’t. Or rather… I am a man; How the hell should I know what it feels like to be a lesbian? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/8 "2005-10-07T11:46:51Z")
**Johanna** : “Not any more”. Me: No. Now if I could spend a holiday in a woman’s body having wild lesbian sex, I’ve often felt that I’d be all over that. But I’m happy, reality being what it is, just being me. Do you truly feel that you are or should be transgendered, or what? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/9 "2005-10-07T11:58:11Z")
If the OP is serious, perhaps a bit more explanation is in order, since - as he acknowledges - his post now is simply the repeat of a time-worn, unfunny phrase. I feel like a man, in a man’s body, who likes women. (One woman in particular, I might add). While I suppose yuo could say I feel “like a lesbian” in the sense that the female body is sexually attractive to me, I don’t feel like a woman myself. So it’s more accurate to say that I simply feel like what I am: a male, in a male body, desiring sex with a female in a female body. If the OP is serious, perhaps he could explain how his situation is different. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/10 "2005-10-07T11:58:51Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > It’s a very old, not funny joke that it seems like way too many new (hetero) male posters to this board come up with at one point or another. “Ha ha, I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, isn’t that funny?” No, no it’s not. Besides the fact that it isn’t original by any stretch of the imagination to the point where it’s like thinking asking a tall guy “How’s the weather up there?” is unique and hilarious, it also can be demeaning to transgendered people who really do have to deal with real feelings like that and extreme discomfort with having what they feel is the wrong body. (Somehow I doubt you really want male-to-female transgender surgery, judging by how you worded your “plight”.) Oh, come on now. Wlile I agree it’s a trite joke, anybody who would be offended by such an innocuous comment, is being a tad bit sensitive IMO. As to the OP: No, I mean I share some common intrests with lesbians, but I don’t feel like I AM one. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/11 "2005-10-07T12:07:56Z")
Do I feel ostracized by society for daring to love women? No. Do I have men constantly trying to “prove” that I would like men if I would only sleep with _them_? No. Did my parents disown me for daring to love a woman? No. Is it illegal for me to marry a woman? No. Do I have to lie to my friends and cow-orkers about my homelife? No. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/12 "2005-10-07T12:52:20Z")
You know, the other day my dopey co-worker shared with us a quandary that he thought was perhaps one of the deepest and thought-provoking questions ever. His manner and tone of voice suggested that he was truly providing us with the keys to the kingdom of Og. His pearl: Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/13 "2005-10-07T13:51:54Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > You know, the other day my dopey co-worker shared with us a quandary that he thought was perhaps one of the deepest and thought-provoking questions ever. His manner and tone of voice suggested that he was truly providing us with the keys to the kingdom of Og. His pearl: > > Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? :smack: Tell him it’s because he touches himself at night. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/14 "2005-10-07T14:01:03Z")
I never understood that joke. 😕 I’m attracted to women, but I never had any reason to suspect I’m a “woman in a man’s body” (i.e. transgendered). So the answer is no. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/15 "2005-10-07T14:53:06Z")
Nope. I wouldn’t want to be who I am (And by that I don’t mean “a lawyer” or “an Atlantan.” I mean “who I am” in the really hard to define sense, i.e. “on the inside”) and live as a woman, straight or gay. I would feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/16 "2005-10-07T15:22:02Z")
No…and I think it’s a pointless question. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of making this tired old joke in the company of my friends (our collective maturity level is around 9 years old), but I don’t see how one could ask it seriously without having thoughts about transgendered-ness. If that’s the case…I have no idea what to say since I’m pretty comfortable being a straight guy. There was this one time I was really high and wondered what it would be like to be a woman having lesbian sex, but I got sidetracked watching Space Ghost and fell asleep. I would also register my surprise (in my ignorance, of course) that **Czarcasm** is a woman. I had no idea. ---
**Author:** ![John\_F](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@John\_F](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_F)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/17 "2005-10-07T15:42:22Z")
I don’t see how the question is complex in any way. :smack: Limiting it to “straight guys” simplifies it even more. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/18 "2005-10-07T21:37:31Z")
No… but I did swallow a wee little lesbian two days ago, and she’s still trapped in my stomach. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/19 "2005-10-07T21:46:55Z")
I think the real question is whether raging sluts feel like flaming queers trapped in a woman’s body. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/20 "2005-10-07T21:58:16Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Oh, come on now. Wlile I agree it’s a trite joke, anybody who would be offended by such an innocuous comment, is being a tad bit sensitive IMO. Even if the people being offended are lesbians trapped in men’s bodies? Say **Johanna** and **KellyM** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164.md?page=2)