# Complex sexuality q for straight guys **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2005, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164 "2005-10-07T10:02:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/21 "2005-10-07T22:39:44Z")
If I said I was occasionally attracted to tomboys and butchy-looking women, would I qualify as an LTMB? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/22 "2005-10-07T23:03:01Z")
Listen to some advice from a woman. You do realize that _far_ more women are attracted to men than women, don’t you? That for many of us, there is a unique pleasure that comes from being with men and from touching the male body that we simply don’t get from women? Given the number of heterosexual women vs. the number of bi- or homosexual women, do you really want to reduce the odds that much? If your fascination is with the so-called “girly bits”, I’m afraid that’s a bit overrated, too. They do have draw backs and the same bits on different women respond quite differently. If you don’t believe me, just start a thread asking how women and men feel about having their ears or necks nibbled. For some, it’s an instant turn-on; for others, it’s just as fast a turn-off. Yes, breasts can be an incredible turn-on. They are also subject to such lovely things as acquiring painfully contracted nipples if it gets too cold or aching. As for vaginas and vulvas, while I do enjoy my vagina and vulva, you do realize the blasted things leak, so to speak, don’t you? Trust me, there have been a good few TMI threads on the subject. As for me, I’ve never felt like a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. I appreciate men’s bodies for the unique and wonderful things they are, and part of that is the way they respond to my female body. 🆒 CJ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/23 "2005-10-07T23:26:10Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > I would also register my surprise (in my ignorance, of course) that **Czarcasm** is a woman. I had no idea. My point is that I am _not_ a woman. I have no idea what it would be like to be a lesbian, but I’m pretty sure it’s a bit more than just “liking women”. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/24 "2005-10-07T23:36:52Z")
> [@Nancarrow](#): > > Er, there seems to be some confusion here over my motives. I am aware that this line has been used by one or more stand-up comedians. However, I was asking a serious question. And I don’t think I was saying anything about any ‘plight’ that I’m having. > > Maybe it’s just 'cos I saw ‘Being John Malkovich’ on DVD yesterday and it got me to thinking. Never mind. I think people would have an easier time believing it was a serious question if your location wasn’t “Feltcham, Goatcestershire.” ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/25 "2005-10-08T01:25:15Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > My point is that I am _not_ a woman. I have no idea what it would be like to be a lesbian, but I’m pretty sure it’s a bit more than just “liking women”. Ah HAH!! Of course, I knew that all along. Sir, I was whooshing YOU. Neener and again, neener. Yep, didn’t fool me at all. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/26 "2005-10-08T16:23:05Z")
> [@Catalyst](#): > > Complex indeed. I’ve got to wonder: with only 29 posts in the year you’ve been registered, you clearly don’t post very often; what prompted you to come out of lurking on this occasion? Wild speculation: it was [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=338537) on fictional characters who have changed gender that prompted a de-lurk. Assuming the OP is a serious question and not meant as hammy joke or insult, no, I don’t feel gender dysphoria as if my body is somehow wrong, nor do I feel misplaced in my body. I have often wondered what it would be like to be a woman, mainly because I feel I fit in with women better _emotionally_ than I do with men. I prize cooperation and socialization over competition; I enjoy the subtleties of language as much as I appreciate logic; and I don’t feel the need to swagger my sexuality in public, clutch my crotch, wolf-whistle at women, and so on. I sometimes feel a little misplaced _socially_, but not physically, so I imagine and sometimes fantasize that my life would be easier and simpler and happier if I were a woman. Women don’t _always_ have it easier in all ways, it’s true, but hey, that’s not the point of imagining it. And yet I don’t really have any interest in men, sexually. I’ll stick with women, thanks. If that’s a yes to the OP, so be it, but I don’t feel any pressing need to have my body corrected with surgery. Or I do, but not in that way. (I’d start with bionic feet and a laser-guided nose and maybe longer arms so I could scratch my back better.) ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/27 "2005-10-08T17:11:04Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Do I feel ostracized by society for daring to love women? No. > Do I have men constantly trying to “prove” that I would like men if I would only sleep with _them_? No. > Did my parents disown me for daring to love a woman? No. > Is it illegal for me to marry a woman? No. > Do I have to lie to my friends and cow-orkers about my homelife? No. Hmm…this seems to suggest that these are the core experiences of being a lesbian. Would a lesbian feel less like a lesbian if society accepted her, if men didn’t try to prove anything to her, if her parents loved her, if she could marry women, and if she could be honest about her homelife? I’m guessing not. I think y’all are, as usual, assuming far too much about what people mean by this question. Instead of assuming that **Nancarrow** was saying, “huh huh huh” while typing it, why not ask him for clarification? I also don’t accept that only the transgendered have a right to this feeling. When I was younger, I found myself disgusted by male bodies, including my own, and I wished that I were a lesbian so I wouldn’t have to deal with a male body. I never wanted to get a sex-change or to act in any way as a woman: that didn’t seem at all right to me, either. It’s just that I didn’t like men’s bodies. At that stage in my life, naive me had no idea that lesbianism was fetishized by many men (my main images of explicit lesbianism were from places like _On Our Backs_, which isn’t exactly a fetish rag). So give the poor lad a chance, instead of jumping down his throat. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/28 "2005-10-08T17:12:28Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > I have often wondered what it would be like to be a woman, mainly because I feel I fit in with women better _emotionally_ than I do with men. I prize cooperation and socialization over competition; I enjoy the subtleties of language as much as I appreciate logic; and I don’t feel the need to swagger my sexuality in public, clutch my crotch, wolf-whistle at women, and so on. I sometimes feel a little misplaced _socially_, but not physically, so I imagine and sometimes fantasize that my life would be easier and simpler and happier if I were a woman. Women don’t _always_ have it easier in all ways, it’s true, but hey, that’s not the point of imagining it. > > And yet I don’t really have any interest in men, sexually. I’ll stick with women, thanks. > > If that’s a yes to the OP, so be it, but I don’t feel any pressing need to have my body corrected with surgery. Or I do, but not in that way. (I’d start with bionic feet and a laser-guided nose and maybe longer arms so I could scratch my back better.) On second thought, lemme just post complete agreement with **Fish** , except for the laser-guided nose part. I’d prefer a spinny nose, on the theory that a lot of my friends are going to get laser-eyes, and if they’ve got laser eyes and I’ve got a spinny nose, together we can play CDs. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/29 "2005-10-09T07:24:44Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Do I have men constantly trying to “prove” that I would like men if I would only sleep with _them_? No. Come on, baby, you’d love it if you tried it. A man can please another man in ways no woman can. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/30 "2005-10-09T08:02:30Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Come on, baby, you’d love it if you tried it. A man can please another man in ways no woman can. What, no dinner? What kind of guy do you think I am? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164/31 "2005-10-09T09:00:27Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > What, no dinner? > What kind of guy do you think I am? [Apochryphal Winston Churchill] We’ve already established that; now we’re negotiating the price. [/AWC] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complex-sexuality-q-for-straight-guys/325164.md?page=1)