# Complimenting Young People
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [September 25, 2015, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468 "2015-09-25T10:41:53Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/1 "2015-09-25T10:41:53Z")
My kid grew up with a really tight group of friends. They were mostly jocks, so teammates and really close. I knew them all really well. I spent over a decade encouraging them, pumping them up, and building up their confidence.
They’re all Facebook friends, and they post a ton of pictures. I complimented one the other day, and later realized, wow, she’s 24. Not a kid anymore. A woman. She liked my post, but I wonder if this is inappropriate. Is it?
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/2 "2015-09-25T11:00:20Z")
My daughter recently turned 25. A few of her childhood friends have friended me on Facebook over the years. Personally, I’d feel odd making first contact, but if they contact me I’m fine with it.
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### Author:  [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/3 "2015-09-25T11:17:46Z")
You’re probably just really self aware and don’t want to come off as weird. Sounds appropriate.
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### Author:  [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/4 "2015-09-25T11:19:00Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#):
>
> They’re all Facebook friends, and they post a ton of pictures. I complimented one the other day, and later realized, wow, she’s 24. Not a kid anymore. A woman. She liked my post, but I wonder if this is inappropriate. Is it?
Why would it be inappropriate? You’re “Facebook friends”, that’s what they do. Come to think of it, that’s what real-life friends or acquaintances do when someone shows them some of their photos, even if they have to rack their brains to say something other than “Enough already!”
Unless your compliment might have been interpreted as though you still thought she was a teenager, or something creepier?
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### Author:  [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/5 "2015-09-25T11:26:16Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#):
>
> Why would it be inappropriate? You’re “Facebook friends”, that’s what they do. Come to think of it, that’s what real-life friends or acquaintances do when someone shows them some of their photos, even if they have to rack their brains to say something other than “Enough already!”
>
> Unless your compliment might have been interpreted as though you still thought she was a teenager, or something creepier?
No, I just complimented her on her looks (which aren’t all that great, but it’s always been an issue for her.)
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/6 "2015-09-25T11:36:51Z")
Childhood friends grow up to be adult friends. What’s odd about that?
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/7 "2015-09-25T11:45:27Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#):
>
> No, I just complimented her on her looks (which aren’t all that great, but it’s always been an issue for her.)
How?
“Lovely!”=probably fine.
“Hawt!”=creepy.
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### Author:  [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/8 "2015-09-25T11:50:27Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#):
>
> No, I just complimented her on her looks (which aren’t all that great, but it’s always been an issue for her.)
Men complimenting women on their looks is so easy to be unwanted or perceived as creepy. Personally I think we should only do it in 2 circumstances - 1) if you’re expecting it to be taken the obvious way (clearly not the case here) or 2) if you have a really close relationship and you’re confident it won’t seem at all creepy.
That’s my policy whether on Facebook or not. The complication social media brings to the table is that hundreds of people might see your comment and you might look like a creep to most of them even if the friend and her close friends know you’re not.
If you’re a woman it’s really unlikely you’d come off creepily.
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/9 "2015-09-25T12:04:55Z")
IMO if it would be appropriate when addressing any other adult friend of a relative, it should be appropriate in this case. And the important thing is if the addressee takes it in the spirit intended.
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/10 "2015-09-25T12:07:57Z")
“Greetings, young hyoo-mon! I am fascinated by your elastic skin and robust dentition!”
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### Author:  [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/11 "2015-09-25T12:28:18Z")
I figure anything I do on FB will open me up to potential ridicule by the young’uns. If I want to tell a friend or relative of any age/gender that they look good, I don’t worry about PC type concerns such as you might have at work. Of course, realizing that anything could be misinterpreted, I’d keep my remarks brief.
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### Author:  [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/12 "2015-09-25T12:54:32Z")
You didn’t use the phrase “bodacious ta-tas,” did you?
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### Author:  [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/13 "2015-09-25T13:05:13Z")
Yeah, it’s all about how you worded it.
“You look great in that outfit” is very different from “Nice tits.”
Or something like that.
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/14 "2015-09-25T13:13:45Z")
I will often say “Yowsa!” or “Hubba-hubba” to a good cheesecake pic but my friends understand that I’m weird that way.
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### Author:  [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/15 "2015-09-25T13:19:42Z")
It’s all been very understated. Just don’t want to be that creepy guy.
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### Author:  [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2015, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/16 "2015-09-25T13:20:30Z")
On the reverse side of this, I’m 42. I’m not FB friends with any of my kids’ friends (my kids are all teenagers; for one, I’m wary of looking skeevy, and for two, their friends are relentlessly inane), but I am friends with quite a few of my childhood friends’ parents, who are now in their sixties or beyond.
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### Author:  [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2015, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/17 "2015-09-27T08:19:29Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#):
>
> Men complimenting women on their looks is so easy to be unwanted or perceived as creepy.
You’re not wrong:
> **[Barrister faces 'career suicide' for exposing lawyer's sexist remark](https://www.theguardian.com/law/2015/sep/10/barrister-career-suicide-exposing-lawyers-sexist-remark)**
>
> Charlotte Proudman told ‘no more briefs for you’ after shaming senior solicitor over his LinkedIn comment about ‘stunning’ photograph
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### Author:  [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2015, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/18 "2015-09-27T09:24:03Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#):
>
> You’re not wrong:
> [Barrister faces 'career suicide' for exposing lawyer's sexist remark | Law | The Guardian](http://www.theguardian.com/law/2015/sep/10/barrister-career-suicide-exposing-lawyers-sexist-remark)
That lawsuit/offense would make a lot more sense if the lady in question wasn’t… wearing makeup. I’m not saying it is overly sexualized or anything like that… I am saying it looks like a head shot for an actress…
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### Author:  [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2015, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/19 "2015-09-27T14:51:53Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#):
>
> “You look great in that outfit”
It has been pointed out to me that the proper phrasing of the above compliment is “You make that outfit look great.”
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [September 27, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/complimenting-young-people/732468/20 "2015-09-27T18:20:11Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#):
>
> No, I just complimented her on her looks (which aren’t all that great, but it’s always been an issue for her.)
I don’t get it – you complimented her but it wasn’t true? 😕
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