# Compliments? I don't think so! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045 "2005-12-10T15:53:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045/1 "2005-12-10T15:53:29Z")
I have noticed an alarming trend, perhaps now that I am older and more sensitive to put-downs. Goes something like this - “Oh, you got your hair cut”, followed by silence, no remarks about whether the person likes it or thinks it looks nice. “You look less tired than you did yesterday”. WTF? “Is that a different type of make-up that you’re wearing?”, followed once again by silence. Am I being scrutinized by others (and I hate to say it, but it’s always women, mainly because men probably don’t notice or are afraid to comment on changes)??? (now listening to Paranoid Android by Radiohead) Is there pleasure involved in these types of statements? If I’m having a good day, I look in the mirror once or twice. I’m just too friggin’ busy to worry about stuff. And I would never say “Oh, you got your hair cut” to anyone. Color me polite, I guess. I’m just gonna crawl back in under the covers. See you all at MMP. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045/2 "2005-12-11T01:29:23Z")
At least it’s not “What have you done with your hair?!?!?” :eek: My own personal approach - if I can’t find something positive to say about a change someone has made, I’ll just keep my observations to myself. Of course, I’m usually pretty oblivious. It’s part of my charm. ---
**Author:** ![ms.deanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@ms.deanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ms.deanna)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045/3 "2005-12-11T04:07:31Z")
There are also people ( usually other females) that say things like “Oh, I liked you hair better the way you had it before” or some shit like that. I’m so glad that I don’t care what people think. Most of the time most of the people are full of shit anyway.I’m gonna go take my medicine now. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045/4 "2005-12-11T07:51:11Z")
Ok “I” say things like ‘you got your hair cut!’ without saying anything good or bad about it because that is a landmine. Most women seem pleased enough if you notice they have made a change. Personally I hate when someone goes on and on about whatever I have done different like putting on makeup. Gushing about it makes me feel I must have looked horrible before. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045/5 "2005-12-11T10:07:19Z")
I have to give some level of credence to adhemar’s post, since I’ve walked into the female hair/makeup minefield on a few occasions. Most of the time, I’ll say “I like your new haircut.” But, I’ve had the rare time I’ve said “I like your haircut” and they respond with a quick, wicked, sharp “I hate it…I’m going to sue the bitch.” Perhaps several people have had this happen on multiple occasions, and are simply reserving the comment to see if YOU actually like the way it was cut. Not saying it’s right, just that might be what’s happening. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045/6 "2005-12-11T10:22:52Z")
Hmmm. You know I say stuff like that too. I’ve never had any bad remarks to compliments, I’ve just never done it. Heh, there’s some neat logic to that sentance. I think I say it that way much like I’d comment to somebody “It’s hot today” or “That’s a big dog.” Then if they want my opinion on a subject they’ll ask for it. It’s a phnomenon Douglas Adams noted. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045/7 "2005-12-11T15:00:53Z")
Waay too many people have learned their manners from watching sitcoms, not from dealing with real poeple who have manners. It only takes 2 generations of raised-by-TV children to essentially wipe out civilization as we know it. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-i-dont-think-so/335045/8 "2005-12-11T15:05:54Z")
Well, whatever you do, **beckwall** , do _not_ visit [The Back-handed Compliment Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=348957). For like, you know, comeback ideas. 🙂