# Compliments that make you wonder **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2024, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916 "2024-03-16T15:46:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/1 "2024-03-16T15:46:39Z")
I was recently complimented, told I was intelligent and enlightened despite not having higher education. I didn’t really think about the further implications of it until later, but I had a couple different things going on at the time the compliment was given. I was just trying to not be a jerk, I was being nice, I was just trying to honest about the topic being discussed (body image and confidence issues, mixed race family and child abuse/neglect and fostering or adopting were the topics if discussion) and I’ve reached a level of maturity, I actually feel like an adult and am losing the ability to farm give-a-damns about a lot of things. As I said, I didn’t originally think about the implications but replaying the moment in my head later, how does just being an adult and true to myself make me intelligent and enlightened? Have you ever had a moment like this happen to you? ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/2 "2024-03-16T15:49:40Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > I was recently complimented, told I was intelligent and enlightened despite not having higher education. > > I didn’t really think about the further implications of it until later… It wasn’t a compliment, as you realize. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/3 "2024-03-16T16:41:40Z")
It may have been meant as a compliment (or not), but either way, it reveals a certain arrogance and elitism in the speaker. Higher education is not the _sine qua non_\* of intelligence, wisdom, or plain old human decency. You did well to not give a damn. \*Note the unnecessary use of a Latin phrase by an arrogant classically educated person. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/4 "2024-03-16T16:45:26Z")
The great thing about a degree in the Liberal Arts is that you get the sheepskin _and_ disqualified from all but those jobs that ensure you’ll also get cred from the school of hard knocks ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/5 "2024-03-16T16:49:26Z")
Si tacuissem, philosophus mansissem. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/6 "2024-03-16T16:54:50Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > It may have been meant as a compliment (or not), but either way, it reveals a certain arrogance and elitism in the speaker. Agreed. A stunning amount of arrogance and elitism. Sounds like a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/7 "2024-03-16T16:55:11Z")
Reminds me of that old expression, not sure who originated it, _“You sure don’t sweat much, for a fat girl.”_ 🧐 ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/8 "2024-03-16T17:10:35Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > I was recently complimented, told I was intelligent and enlightened despite not having higher education. I would call this a “backhanded compliment”. Smile, and thank them for the compliment, even though they probably didn’t mean it as a compliment, and move on. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/9 "2024-03-16T17:13:33Z")
Reminds me of the “compliment” of Lara trump: > [@RNC member Beth Bloch](#): > > “In a world where qualifications are often measured by titles and years of experience, we are reminded of a powerful truth: God does not call the qualified; he qualifies the called. Lara Trump is the embodiment of this truth.” ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/10 "2024-03-16T17:19:21Z")
It could be what they meant is that you are what passed as a normal person 40 years ago and that in todays age with so many nutjobs succeeding in ways unimaginable just a few years ago you come across as intelligent and enlightened In comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/11 "2024-03-16T17:21:54Z")
Eh, you’re ok. 😊 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/12 "2024-03-16T17:31:05Z")
> [@DPRK](#): > > > [@DorkVader](#): > > > > I was recently complimented, told I was intelligent and enlightened despite not having higher education. > > > > I didn’t really think about the further implications of it until later… > > It wasn’t a compliment, as you realize. I wasn’t there, so I don’t know exactly what was said or what was meant by it. There are all sorts of possibilities, some genuinely complimentary, others not. The person could have meant “You have an ability to think things through and organize and express your thoughts clearly that I mostly only see in college-educated people,” for example. ---
**Author:** ![Chingon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chingon/32/17645_2.png) [@Chingon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chingon)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/13 "2024-03-16T18:08:45Z")
“You speak English much better than I though you would”. Or “You’re so well spoken.” Heard this too many times to count. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/14 "2024-03-16T18:14:34Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Reminds me of that old expression, not sure who originated it, _“You sure don’t sweat much, for a fat girl.”_ 🧐 I can’t believe someone else thought of this very line! Was it from Larry the Cable Guy? ---
**Author:** ![Eric1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@Eric1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eric1)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/15 "2024-03-16T21:02:00Z")
It’s too bad the person hadn’t just told the OP ‘I like what you said - way t’go!’ If it were one of my friends or coworkers, that would have been fine. But I understand some people want to be erudite in any conversation. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/16 "2024-03-16T22:27:04Z")
Similar to the OP. Note: both of us were newish college faculty. “You’re a lot smarter than I thought you’d be coming from a state school.” Um, I got my PhD from a school ranked in the top 10 in the field. The other person went to Ivy League schools, none of them close to the top 10. That was not a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/17 "2024-03-16T23:18:30Z")
> [@Chingon](#): > > “You speak English much better than I though you would” Years ago a US tech recruiter said something like that to me when she read I was from the UK. It was hard to keep a straight face… ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2024, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/18 "2024-03-16T23:31:32Z")
This hasn’t happened to me but did anyone ever get "I hope I look as good as you when I’m your age? ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2024, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/19 "2024-03-17T00:07:36Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > "I hope I look as good as you when I’m your age? “uh…I’m younger than you.” ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2024, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916/20 "2024-03-17T00:29:16Z")
In seventh grade I was an average student and quite the introvert. My teacher that year wrote in my yearbook “more kids should be like you”. It made me really proud and stuck with me for many, many years. Then 30 years later when I had my own kid and had a chance to visit his seventh grade class and saw just how insanely loud a bunch of 13 year-olds can be I wondered if he wrote that meaning more kids should learn to shut their yappers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/compliments-that-make-you-wonder/998916.md?page=2)