# Computer things you should NOT do. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 12, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203 "2005-07-12T16:49:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/61 "2005-07-13T10:02:29Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > (My best friend’s roommate actually did this. Yes, we did have to completely reinstall Windows, as he had just deleted Explorer, aka “the desktop itself”.) You should have been able to just copy explorer.exe back onto the harddrive pretty easily. Either with a bootable CD, from the safe mode command prompt, or possibly by using a file dialogue box from the taskmanager. Come to think of it, I think even XP still comes with progman.exe (i.e., the Windows 3.1 desktop) - you should probably have been able to run that from taskmanager (accessed with Ctrl+Alt+Delete), making copying explorer.exe back to the harddrive that much easier. What version of Windows was he running? (I haven’t tried these for this specific task, but suspect they would work.) Oh, and to be on topic: Play with the registry often. It’s fun! It’s there for you to learn, by trial and error, how your computer works under the hood. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/62 "2005-07-13T10:19:07Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > If your job hasn’t showed up on the network printer, hit print _over and over and over_ again. It’s bound to come out sooner or later. Yes, in fact if _anything_ doesn’t do what you expect it to, try repeating exactly the same operation again and again in rapid succession - otherwise the computer might not know you really mean it\*; if this doesn’t work, try pounding on the keyboard. \*Or the tech support guy; these people don’t have very good attention skills, so when you show them what you did, do it like this: “See, I clicked on the print button like this \, you know, like this \ and nothing came out, see? \ nothing! \ \ \ nothing at all” Don’t let the tech guy interrupt until you’re sure he understands what you’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/63 "2005-07-13T12:38:38Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > If your job hasn’t showed up on the network printer, hit print _over and over and over_ again. It’s bound to come out sooner or later. When you rifle through the pile of print jobs in the output tray looking for yours you shouldn’t bother with keeping a certain order. Especially if there are several hundred pages and several dozen people that use that printer. Since there are a lot of people who use that printer they can all chip in to help each other find their print jobs. The job should not fall on your shoulders alone. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/64 "2005-07-13T12:55:29Z")
Go on the internet and find these programs and install them. mwsoemon.exe ----------MyWebSearch toolbar webrebates1.exe --------TopRebates hijacker/adware webrebates0.exe --------TopRebates hijacker/adware wtoolsa.exe ---------------HuntBar spyware wsup.exe ------------------HuntBar spyware gmt.exe --------------------Gator adware cmesys.exe ---------------Gator adware wtoolss.exe ---------------HuntBar spyware optimize.exe --------------MoneyTree Dialer bargains.exe -------------Bargain Buddy save.exe -------------------WhenU SaveNow adware msbb.exe -----------------180Solutions adware actalert.exe ---------------MoneyTree Dialer istsvc.exe ------------------IST adware/hijacker asm.exe --------------------Brilliant Digital Spyware syncroad.exe --------------Evil x 2.0 precisiontime.exe -------Gator adware autoupdate.exe ----------Apropos Media adware nls.exe ----------------------Navisearch / TopRebates vvsn.exe --------------------WhenU ClockSync dmserver.exe -------------Comet Download Manager updmgr.exe ----------------KeenValue spyware winsync.exe ----------------Evil-X hbinst.exe ------------------Hotbar adware/spyware sync.exe --------------------WhenU Adware They can help even the slowest machine run at light speed. Have a check ready for the local computer repair guy, as he may have to come over and actually _slow_ the computer down for you. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/65 "2005-07-13T13:16:24Z")
A true story: I worked in a little private church school. This was about 7 years ago, when we were all using Windows 3.0. The youth minister was having all kinds of trouble with his computer, mainly related to the fact that he didn’t really know how to use it. He’d ask the students for advice about it when he saw them in the halls. One day, one of my seventh graders told the youth minister that he could solve the problem he was having by going into DOS and typing “format c.” The youth minister took this advice and, sure enough, his problem went away. I was very proud of my computer-savvy little student. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/66 "2005-07-13T13:31:09Z")
A suprising number of Nigerian royal family members have bank accounts that they can’t access. [Make sure you give them a hand!](http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/67 "2005-07-13T15:05:46Z")
RESPOND TO EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPZ!!! wITH LOTS OF EXCLAMASHUN POINTZ!!! AND A FEW DELIBERATE MISSPELLINGZ!!! DON’T FORGET TO SPRINKLE 🙂 SMILEYZ ALL THRU WHATEVER U TYPE :eek: AFTER U GET GOOD AT THIS U CAN TRY 133T SP33K 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/68 "2005-07-13T17:27:40Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Go on the internet and find these programs and install them. > > … > > They can help even the slowest machine run at light speed. Any apparent slowness will be due solely to time dilation. ---
**Author:** ![barracuda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@barracuda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barracuda)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/69 "2005-07-13T17:51:45Z")
If your several year old computer with dial up modem won’t load and play graphic heavy content or music very well, it is always, always, always the ISP’s fault. You shouldn’t have to upgrade your computer and connection just because the frickin’ ISP guys don’t know how to do their job right. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/70 "2005-07-13T18:17:49Z")
In UNIX, be creative with your file names. Why should you stick to just letters and numbers? Try naming some of your files \*, _._, ?, ., … and other interesting names. Putting control characters in your file names is fun, too. Other users of shared printers have so much fun figuring out what random settings you left on the printer after you were done with your job. It gives them a break from the monotony of their day. They especially love it when you leave the printer in duplex mode, they try to print a transparency, and melt the transparency onto the fuser. A great way to save time and money in a university setting is to make each faculty member responsible for administering his or her own computers. They’re smart enough, they can figure out all their own computer problems without a system administrator. And they should be OK on security issues- after all, who would want to hack a university computer, especially if the professors keep gradebooks on there? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/71 "2005-07-13T18:31:42Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Oh, forgot an important one - make sure you NEVER back anything up. Computers are pretty reliable these days; what could possibly happen? ARG! You had to tell me this, now. Not last week, while my harddrive still worked. 20,000 words of a novella, almost ready for submission… gone. _sob_ OTOH, looking for the silver lining - I do believe that word processors make it far easier to revise than rewrite fiction, often to the detriment of a story. :dubious: Umm… to continue the suggestions in this thread to make your computer work better: Remember there’s nothing wrong with your machine if it makes grinding noises - after all, it’s full of moving parts, and from time to time they’ll rub against each other. Just ignore it. They’ll wear into new equilibria soon enough. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/72 "2005-07-13T18:56:37Z")
If your screen is looking a big grungy, get a spray bottle of water and give the screen a good spritzing. Don’t bother to turn the monitor off first. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/73 "2005-07-13T19:18:42Z")
> [@Flander](#): > > Seal off all those little holes and vents in your laptop or CPU tower. That will keep any dust or bugs out which may hinder performance. Heathen! Those holes are for the sacrifices to the all-powerful Computer Daemon! Some suggested sacrificial offerings: [ul] [li]Libations of soda (containing caffeine and sugar, anything else is an Abomination!), Frappucinos (must have caffeine and not be low-fat or low-sugar), wine, or beer[/li][li]Money. Coins work best, but if the holes are big enough, the Computer Daemon also takes credit cards[/li][li]Dust bunnies[/li][li]Any spare screws that you find around, or any screws left over when you have been working on the computer[/li][li]Refrigerator magnets[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/74 "2005-07-13T19:31:02Z")
If your computer tells you that you are an invalid, take a screenshot, print it out, and send it to Social Security (or your country’s equivalent organization) with your application for disability. Keep a copy for the DMV (or equivalent) so you can get a handicapped license plate. If your computer tells you that your file names are bad, this is bad news. It means you must immediately change the names of all files on your computer. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/75 "2005-07-13T21:35:02Z")
Got any old 5 1/4 inch floppies laying around? Hey, just rip off the envelope and use the diskette like a CD. They’ll fit right into the tray, or at least close enough. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/76 "2005-07-14T01:10:36Z")
Remember to press only the _ANY_ key when prompted; if your keyboard doesn’t have a key marked ‘_ANY_’, just wait a while and the message will go away by itself. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/77 "2005-07-14T02:06:33Z")
If I didn’t know you guys were joking, I’d most likely believe more than half of these. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/78 "2005-07-14T02:32:54Z")
> [@Anne Neville](#): > > If your computer tells you that you are an invalid, take a screenshot, print it out, and send it to Social Security (or your country’s equivalent organization) with your application for disability. Keep a copy for the DMV (or equivalent) so you can get a handicapped license plate. > > If your computer tells you that your file names are bad, this is bad news. It means you must immediately change the names of all files on your computer. What about illegal operations? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/79 "2005-07-14T12:25:25Z")
Keep your computer connected to the Internet at all times. Don’t ever close it. Something important might happen, and you’ll miss it. If your computer and/or printer doesn’t do something the first time you ask, ask again and again and again. It might work around the 20th or 50th or 100th time. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203/80 "2005-07-14T15:31:32Z")
> [@DarkSideoftheFloyd](#): > > What about illegal operations? 😃 Covered upthread by **sundog66** , though he missed a few things. You should also contact the FBI and prepare for an extended stay at Guantanamo Bay. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/computer-things-you-should-not-do/312203.md?page=3)