# Conan remake. God it looks bad. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 13, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267 "2011-06-13T00:45:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/21 "2011-06-13T03:43:03Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Can’t really tell from the trailer but it appears that Conan is all about “freedom” and liberation something in the trailer. … > > It looks like this movie is dialing him up as a standard hero which (IMO) does not work well for his character. I don’t know about that. There’s an earlier trailer, where he’s all “I don’t care, I just like killing people”. And I am quite pleased that Conan doesn’t look like he’s on steroids. I don’t think they had those back in the days of high adventure. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/22 "2011-06-13T03:49:05Z")
I believe my exact reaction when I saw the trailer was, “That is one barbarian who can sack my village anytime.” In other words, the movie itself is going to be a big shitheap, but Jason Mamoa is sexy as hell. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/23 "2011-06-13T03:53:02Z")
> [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](#): > > And I am quite pleased that Conan doesn’t look like he’s on steroids. I don’t think they had those back in the days of high adventure. I’ve been Googling to find Weird Tales illustrations, where he looks like a good ol’ Texas boy, with combed back wavy hair, but no luck. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/24 "2011-06-13T03:58:44Z")
I absolutely hate 3D movies where they insist that spears and knives and thins MUST be thrust at teh screen - If you’re going to do 3D, quit going for the obvious site gags. Other than that, the trailer looked fine for a generic “dude with sword fights armys of wizards and snakes and is surrounded by scantily clad women” - but did not make me think “Conan” - ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/25 "2011-06-13T04:09:05Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > Honestly, what do you expect from a Conan movie? A masturbating bear! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/26 "2011-06-13T04:11:40Z")
> [@simster](#): > > I absolutely hate 3D movies where they insist that spears and knives and thins MUST be thrust at teh screen - If you’re going to do 3D, quit going for the obvious site gags. > > Other than that, the trailer looked fine for a generic “dude with sword fights armys of wizards and snakes and is surrounded by scantily clad women” - but did not make me think “Conan” - There are actually some people that say there’s no point in having 3D if stuff doesn’t come at you out of the screen. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/27 "2011-06-13T04:20:18Z")
Honestly. It has swordfights, scantily-clad concubines, death cults, and sorcery. It looks like a hell of a lot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/28 "2011-06-13T04:23:32Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > There are actually some people that say there’s no point in having 3D if stuff doesn’t come at you out of the screen. Fair enough - but they could attempt to be more original with it - well, maybe not in a Conan movie, but … I think what I am trying to say is “if that’s the only reason you’re doing 3D is to have a pointy spear (or three) thrust at the camera, maybe you should re-consider the need” ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/29 "2011-06-13T04:30:53Z")
> [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](#): > > What part of this doesn’t describe Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1982? > > I’ll go see the new one, though I’m sure it won’t have the camp/nostalgia value of the original. Or the bitching [sound track](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZY2mRG5mzg). Yeah, that’s probably something that will be lacking. Conan’s score actually drives the movie more than any other movie I can think of - the score plays at full volume almost through the entire movie, and the movie is almost a music video for the score. The thin plot just serves for lots of beheading and flexing set to awesome music. The new score will probably be some nu metal bullshit or something. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/30 "2011-06-13T05:09:56Z")
Popcorn action movie. I approve. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/31 "2011-06-13T05:21:45Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > Honestly, what do you expect from a Conan movie? Sergei Eisenstein references. Lots and lots of Sergei Eisenstein references. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/32 "2011-06-13T05:50:44Z")
Gah! Enough with the fucking bullet time! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/33 "2011-06-13T07:33:58Z")
Yes, but will the music be as epic as the first? The original had one of the best movie soundtracks of all time. Oh, and it won’t have Mako in it, because he’s dead. Now you made me sad! And angry! SANGRY! :mad::(:mad:☹ ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/34 "2011-06-13T09:09:33Z")
Looks good to me. Although it’s weird watching Drogo speak in the Western tongue. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/35 "2011-06-13T10:25:17Z")
Looks like it’s more proper Conan than the triptastic Schwarzenegger movies: Actually saying his name properly instead of calling him “Co-nann,” dark hair to go with his sullen eyes, you know, the actual original character design. If Momoa is allowed to have some gigantic mirths to go with his gigantic melancholies, then he’ll be even more a proper Conan than poor Arnold was. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/36 "2011-06-13T10:50:18Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Beauty is in the eye if the beholder…or perhaps determined by the beholder’s gender. 🙂 Be that as it may, your ugly-meter still needs recalibration. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/37 "2011-06-13T12:05:23Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Be that as it may, your ugly-meter still needs recalibration. Having never seen the guy before, perhaps “ugly in character” would be more appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/38 "2011-06-13T15:11:20Z")
I don’t have HBO, so I haven’t paid any attention to the stuff about Game of Thrones. Now that I know Ronon Dex is involved, I’m all keen to see it. (Liked the first couple of novels, then got irritated with certain plot twists and a lack of movement toward a conclusion. Haven’t read the last one or two.) I’m not so sure about this movie, though. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/39 "2011-06-13T16:38:23Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Actually saying his name properly instead of calling him “Co-nann,” Given that Robert E. Howard was a Texas good-old-boy, I’m pretty sure he would have pronounced it CO-nan rather than CO-nin. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267/40 "2011-06-13T16:41:01Z")
Why can’t they fight like the shaggy barbarians they are? Why do they have to jump around, stabbing ridiculously and doing somersaults and doing back bridges to dodge knives? This isn’t The Matrix. Khal Drogo wouldn’t have stood for this crap, I’ll tell you that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conan-remake-god-it-looks-bad/585267.md?page=3)