# Condiments in squeeze bottles are not even funny. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 2, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157 "2010-11-02T02:13:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/21 "2010-11-02T20:45:46Z")
Get rid of the Miracle Whip and use dill relish for a good, not sweet tartar ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/22 "2010-11-02T20:49:22Z")
Blech. Dill relish is gross. The Miracle Whip adds a little tang to the sauce. I suppose you could substitute lemon juice, but I **like** Miracle Whip. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/23 "2010-11-02T21:05:23Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Make your own. It’s not like it’s hard or anything. That way you can adjust the amount of sugar to your liking. > > 1 cup mayo > 1/3 cup pickle relish > 1/3 cup Miracle Whip > 2 tblsp. onion powder > 1 tblsp. sugar > 1 dash cayenne > 1/4 tsp. parsley > > Mix and let meld for a few hours in the fridge before serving. That’s a good idea, and as infrequently as I use tartar sauce, something I never even thought of. I already have everything I need, and I would use dill and forget the Miracle Whip, and I imagine it would be pretty close to what I am looking for… Thanks!!! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/24 "2010-11-02T21:41:23Z")
Yep. We only use the stuff maybe once a month or so. The jarred stuff is sub-standard anyway, and it only takes a minute to whip up enough for the two of us for one meal. It’s a very flexible recipe. Add stuff, subtract stuff…it’s all good. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/25 "2010-11-02T22:55:05Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Make your own. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do from now on, assuming that I realize I’m in a tartar sauce mood early enough to make it and let it sit. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/26 "2010-11-02T23:11:27Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > No, it doesnt. > > I haven’t seen them in in supermarkets in years, but they [are available](http://www.ketchupworld.com/inc/sdetail/125). They seem to still be used in restaurants. All the restaurants I go to switched over to squeeze in the last decade or so. Can’t say that I miss the old knife in the bottle trick that you had to do with a new (or newly refilled) glass bottle. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/27 "2010-11-02T23:45:24Z")
My spouse sometimes gets me mayo in a squeeze bottle, forgetting I prefer a jar. I dislike the squeeze bottle because you can only get about 2/3d’s of the mayo out before you have to unscrew the lid and use a knife to get the rest, and you can’t really get all of it because of the bottle’s shape. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/28 "2010-11-03T00:44:04Z")
I love the squeeze bottles. There’s no need to dirty up a knife. I squirt my Mayo and Mustard on the bread. Rub the bread together to mix. Add meat. Put on paper towel. No dishes to wash. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/29 "2010-11-03T00:56:51Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > Get rid of the Miracle Whip and use dill relish for a good, not sweet tartar And capers, too. I dunno, for me capers, dill and seafood are a match made in heaven, so I agree with your dill relish suggestions (although I use diced dill pickles, same difference). Still, many people like the sweeter varieties and hate dill (as well as capers), so I understand preferring sweet relish. Make what you enjoy. I hate that sweet shit. ---
**Author:** ![cgg419](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cgg419/32/2847_2.png) [@cgg419](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cgg419)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/30 "2010-11-03T01:08:27Z")
> [@joebuck20](#): > > All this begs the question - Can you even still buy Heinz in a traditional glass bottle? They’re still sold here, but I’m in Canada, so maybe it’s just a northern thing 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/31 "2010-11-03T02:10:53Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > _Shake and shake the ketchup bottle, > First a little, then a lot’l._ > > – Ogden Nash Wikipedia says it’s by Richard Armour. [Richard Armour - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Armour) > [@](#): > > Shake and shake / the catsup bottle / first none’ll come / and then a lot’ll. He also wrote: > [@](#): > > Nothing attracts / the mustard from wieners / as much as the slacks / just back from the cleaners. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157/32 "2010-11-03T02:11:41Z")
Burma Shave. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condiments-in-squeeze-bottles-are-not-even-funny/559157.md?page=1)