# Condition orange! Condition orange! Everyone to please quiver in terror! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362 "2003-12-21T20:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/1 "2003-12-21T20:48:52Z")
Apparently our fear quotient isn’t up there where the current White House occupant would like it to be, so a more alarming color has been imposed upon our holidays. And you all thought that Saddam’s capture actually meant something. I am **ORANGE** - fear me! ---
**Author:** ![Dizzy\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dizzy\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dizzy_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/2 "2003-12-21T21:14:57Z")
I’m dreaming of an orange Christmas, Just like the ones I used to know. . . ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/3 "2003-12-21T21:15:44Z")
Was there any actual reason for this? Could you provide a link? This the first I’ve heard of it… ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/4 "2003-12-21T21:24:23Z")
Great. I am flying to D.C. tomorrow. Plus, it’s going to be snowing in the AM. I have a bag full of Christmas presents (wrapped) that I need to carry on. Oh, joy. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/5 "2003-12-21T21:34:02Z")
Just be glad it isn’t "condition **fuchsia**. While you’re on vacation the “Queer Guys” will break into your house and redecorate. Eeeeeew! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/6 "2003-12-21T21:45:52Z")
. . . as some comic or another said, “I can’t _be_ any more vigilant, _bitch!_” ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/7 "2003-12-21T22:02:43Z")
Attention all nerds! Attention all nerds! Condition #FFCC00! I repeat, Condition #FFCC00! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/8 "2003-12-21T22:11:43Z")
**Eve** , I believe that was the lovely and talented Tina Fey. “I’m watching so much CNN, I’m having sex dreams about Wolf Blitzer.” Heh. ---
**Author:** ![cheddarsnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cheddarsnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheddarsnax)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/9 "2003-12-21T22:13:12Z")
What’s the point? When they drop back to yellow, should we stop reporting suspicious activity? Will they make the airports less secure? What? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/10 "2003-12-21T22:21:36Z")
\*\*You can’t scare me, I have the flu. Bring them terrorists over here and let me cough on them Now I have _two_ reasons to stay under the covers.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/11 "2003-12-21T22:22:52Z")
Damn, and I’m all out of poly and duct tape, too! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/12 "2003-12-21T23:35:43Z")
Lamar - you already wrapped the presents? Oh dear. You are not going to enjoy your time at the airport. From the [Transportation Security Administration](http://www.tsa.gov/public/display?theme=183&content=0900051980074366): > [@](#): > > Refrain from taking wrapped presents to the airport. TSA is recommending that you either ship wrapped packages ahead of time or wrap on arrival. If the package alarms, TSA will need to unwrap it to investigate the source of the alarm. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/13 "2003-12-21T23:48:47Z")
I know. What a nightmare. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/14 "2003-12-21T23:55:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dwalin \* > \*\*Was there any actual reason for this? Could you provide a link? This the first I’ve heard of it… \*\* Er…[sure.](http://www.cnn.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/15 "2003-12-22T01:38:45Z")
\*Oh! The threat level’s “high” for the holidays, ‘Cause no matter how diligently you try When your mind’s on the direction of an enemy gaze, For the holidays, you won’t feel safe to fly I met a man from Afghanistan, and he was heading for…\* Oh, I can’t be arsed. ---
**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/16 "2003-12-22T01:46:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*. . . as some comic or another said, “I can’t _be_ any more vigilant, _bitch!_” \*\* The only conceivable explanation is that, when the Unthinkable happens, the gubmint can declare: “We warned you.” Other than that, it serves no purpose, other than to justify billions of dollars in OHS paychecks. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/17 "2003-12-22T07:08:30Z")
Well, it also gives the Prez a mild boost in the approval ratings. If nothing happens, some folks will say “Whew! Good thing we were on alert and dodged a bullet! Go get 'im, George!” ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/18 "2003-12-22T07:23:01Z")
Also flying to DC today :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Blown\_Injected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@Blown\_Injected](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blown_Injected)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/19 "2003-12-22T07:23:29Z")
Did not read the link, but it seems obvious that malls packed to capacity might present a fine target to a terrorist. Gezzzz, do nothing and the man is a slacker, do something and the man is a slacker. How safe can the boarders of the USA actually be considering all the importing we do over here!? ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/20 "2003-12-22T07:34:53Z")
Damnit! I knew I should have done laundry today. I have nothing to Coordinate. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362.md?page=2)