# Condition orange! Condition orange! Everyone to please quiver in terror! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362 "2003-12-21T20:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/41 "2003-12-23T01:13:58Z")
[Statement](http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/12/20031221.html) Tom Ridge, Secretary of Homeland Defense: "The U.S. intelligence community has received a substantial increase in the volume of threat-related intelligence reports. These credible sources suggest the **possibility** of attacks against the homeland around the holiday season **and beyond.** "The strategic indicators, including al-Qaida’s continued desire to carry out attacks against our homeland, are **perhaps** greater now than at any point since September 11th, 2001. “And in other news, you can now save **up to** fifteen percent **or more** on your car insurance.” ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/42 "2003-12-23T02:06:16Z")
\*Originally posted by Diceman \* \*\*They’d never get away with hijacking planes again. \*\* Well You’d think that wouldn’t you. I just had another conversation with someone in the airline industry and it appears that there is a recon effort going on. \*\*They might go back to bombing them, tho. \*\* I haven’t heard anything to support that but there seems to be an attempt to flush out air marshals by acting weird (doesn’t work, just gets them yanked off the plane). Not that this will surprise anyone, but these are foreign born individuals on visa’s. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/43 "2003-12-23T03:18:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*Oh, and anyone else having trouble getting to [cnn.com](http://cnn.com)? **Chefguy** ’s link keeps freezing my browser. \*\* That page is no longer the headlines, so it won’t matter if you can see it or not. You’ll have to do a search. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/44 "2003-12-23T03:49:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Magiver \* > \*\*\*Originally posted by Diceman \* > \*\*They’d never get away with hijacking planes again. \*\* > Well You’d think that wouldn’t you. I just had another conversation with someone in the airline industry and it appears that there is a recon effort going on. > > \*\*They might go back to bombing them, tho. \*\* > > I haven’t heard anything to support that but there seems to be an attempt to flush out air marshals by acting weird (doesn’t work, just gets them yanked off the plane). > > Not that this will surprise anyone, but these are foreign born individuals on visa’s. \*\* Actually, **Magiver** , it doesn’t matter _what_ the bad guys manage to smuggle on the plane or threaten folks with, passengers are unlikely to sit quietly and wait for the end. They’re most likely to go down fighting, and even if they don’t, pilots know _lots_ of manaouvers which can scramble the folks in the back without crashing the plane, and I’m sure they’ll be **more** than willing to try them out on anyone who makes too big of a ruckus. IAC, my 72 year old mother is flying down from Ohio on Christmas Eve, and she’s already told me she’s not gonna take any shit from no stinkin’ terrorists! :eek: So you folks have nothing to worry about.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/45 "2003-12-23T04:25:59Z")
Fuzzy Navel’s for everyone! Drink, or we crash a plane into you. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/46 "2003-12-23T12:02:25Z")
But…but…didn’t our president just tell us not two weeks ago that the world is now a safer place? Had something to do with taking down Saddam. Now he raises the threat level? Does that mean the world isn’t a safer place after all? Or that it was, but now it’s not again? Could he have been…wrong? Could he have been overstating the case? Tooting his own horn? Waging a war on the wrong country while the real terrorists run loose? I’m trying to think of a funny line to put down here, but I can’t come up with anything. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/47 "2003-12-23T13:40:30Z")
> [@](#): > > I understand that there’s not a lot that individuals can do, but that’s not what the alert is for really. It’s for the appropriate agencies to do what they have to do to be prepared and alerted for whatever may come based on the intelligence that they now have. Then why tell the rest of us? What the hell good does it do to tell me I might very well die at the hands of a terrorist, but I shouldn’t worry about it? Talk about mixed signals from our Fearless Leader(s). When they ground all flights, close all public places, and restrict us all to our homes, I might be concerned. Wait, though, that could just be the signal that the 2004 elections are at hand, couldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/48 "2003-12-23T16:57:18Z")
When the Floogit Bird is frightened it flies in ever decreasing circles unt till it flies up its own back door where it sits, flinging foogits at its enemies and cries: “FU FU FU” * * * “Beware of the Cog” ---
**Author:** ![rngadam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/97f17d/32.png) [@rngadam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rngadam)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/49 "2003-12-23T17:02:49Z")
Nice going there America. Continue living in fear of stuff you have less chance to die from then to win the jackpot with the stupid lotto ticket you just bought. I can’t imagine what this kind of tricks can do to your collective spyche but it can’t be good! Shouldn’t they be issuing a RED ALERT for all the casualties by car accidents too, considering the many more deaths caused by cars then from terrorists? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/50 "2003-12-23T17:27:40Z")
Think of it as an opportunity to prioritize rotating your disaster supplies: “It was an Orange Alert; I _had_ to get a fresh jar of candied chestnuts and a bottle of J!” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/51 "2003-12-23T18:31:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rngadam \* > \*\*Nice going there America. Continue living in fear of stuff you have less chance to die from then to win the jackpot with the stupid lotto ticket you just bought. > > I can’t imagine what this kind of tricks can do to your collective spyche but it can’t be good! > > Shouldn’t they be issuing a RED ALERT for all the casualties by car accidents too, considering the many more deaths caused by cars then from terrorists? \*\* Pretty much the point of my thread. A cowering populace is less likely to be troublesome to the people in charge. Keep them afraid, saturate the news with ominous portent, and it’s much easier to pass the next piece of egregious legislation or to undermine constitutional rights and process. We are becoming a nation of whimperers, looking over our shoulders in suspicion of everyone and everything, and lashing out in anger at countries who don’t meet our definition of “good guys”. I refuse to buy into it and so should you all. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/52 "2003-12-23T18:43:41Z")
Robert Anton Wilson’s “prediction” about the political climate at the beginning of the 21st century seems one of those hairs less far-fetched now that we’re here, doesn’t it? > [@](#): > > “…the Illuminati will have the American people under tighter surveillance than Hitler had the Germans. And the beauty of it is, the majority of the Americans will have been so frightened by Illuminati-backed terrorist incidents that they will beg to be controlled as a masochist begs for the whip.” – _Illuminatus!_ (1975) Lie down on the floor and remain calm. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/53 "2003-12-23T18:46:55Z")
…and don’t worry about the Anthrax-Leprosy Mu. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/54 "2003-12-23T19:55:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Actually, **Magiver** , it doesn’t matter _what_ the bad guys manage to smuggle on the plane or threaten folks with, passengers are unlikely to sit quietly and wait for the end. They’re most likely to go down fighting, and even if they don’t, pilots know _lots_ of manaouvers which can scramble the folks in the back without crashing the plane, and I’m sure they’ll be **more** than willing to try them out on anyone who makes too big of a ruckus. \*\* Unless [the bad guys are already in the cockpit](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/ID/3775771/). ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/55 "2003-12-23T20:14:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chefguy \* > \*\*Pretty much the point of my thread. A cowering populace is less likely to be troublesome to the people in charge. Keep them afraid, saturate the news with ominous portent, and it’s much easier to pass the next piece of egregious legislation or to undermine constitutional rights and process. \*\* It looks more and more as if the true “terrorists” are working in the West Wing. If they are really trying to protect us, the “alert levels” should be as remote from the people as “def-con” levels. Telling us, racheting up the “threat” level publicly, serves no purpose against the terrorist threat, but does much to make the populace willing to accept horrific levels of internal contral. When all of the news media go along so willingly, does anybody still think we have a “free” press? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362/56 "2003-12-23T22:18:07Z")
After being reminded of that quote from _Illuminatus!_, I put on my tinfoil hat on for a minute and recieved the following transmission: 1975, the year that _Illuminatus!_ was published, was an interesting year. Donald Rumsfeld took the helm as Secretary of Defense that year, and President Ford made Dick Cheney Chief of staff. Halliburton, which would see Cheney as CEO twenty years later, was incorporated in the Cayman Islands in 1975. And of course, in 1975, there was a significant terrorist attack in New York City, at the Fraunces Tavern. Although this has often been connected with the FALN, who were responsible for hundreds of other bombings, the jailed leader of the group [disavows](http://www.ainfos.ca/98/may/ainfos00107.html) any connection to that one single bombing: > [@](#): > > Asked now about Fraunces Tavern, Lopez says, `I don't know who did it.'' In fact, he adds, he has `problems’’ with ``that particular action.’’ Of course, the Fraunces Tavern is a perfect _symbolic_ target, since, (apart from being the preferred place for the Illuminati to get beered up,) starting in 1789, it housed the Department of Foreign Affairs, back when NYC was the U.S. Capitol. Exactly 200 years after that, Dick Cheney became Secretary of Defense, just in time for Gulf War I. Hey, this is fun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/condition-orange-condition-orange-everyone-to-please-quiver-in-terror/220362.md?page=2)