# Confess your micro-crimes here **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2016, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934 "2016-02-12T14:48:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2016, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/161 "2016-02-22T12:32:16Z")
I may need to go on the lam for for this one. At least I won’t be able to show my face at Chipotle for some time. I was in for a burrito on Saturday afternoon. I decided against buying a beverage to go with my meal, but the clerk asked if I’d like a cup for some complimentary water at the soda fountain. I accepted, but when I arrived at the soda fountain, I saw only soda and ice, no water. So, and I’m not proud of this, well, I … I poured myself a half a cup of lemonade. Gratis. No, I didn’t include any ice. Who do you think I am, John Dillinger or something? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2016, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/162 "2016-02-22T14:16:46Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I’m using some United States Post Office’s “if it fits it ships” boxes to store shit. Toilet not working? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2016, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/163 "2016-02-22T14:19:30Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > No, but stealing his IRS notifications is. > > I had a renter in my house who was a bit like you. Not the slob part, but the nasty, get-even part. She elected to go away (about 15 minutes before I asked her to). When she left, I found she had taken one of a matched set of drinking glasses, silverware, messed with the boxes I had in the storeroom by mixing up the contents, and to this day she signs up for junk mail to be sent to my address. This was 10 years ago. I thought she would have moved on by now but I just started getting calls for her from a bill collector. :dubious: > > At least you got over that retaliation thing. Just to be official, I’m the nasty, get-even former slob. Not **Drunky**. And your post reminds me that my old roomie could have avoided the entire ugly episode if he’d waited a day. I found out a day after his ultimatum that I’d been accepted to grad school in another part of the state and was going to leave not only ASAP, but on good terms. He’d have been rid of me and not have had a TV stuck on a religious programming channel. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2016, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/164 "2016-02-22T14:34:37Z")
For the past two tax years I have failed to file in St. Louis City for the portion of my income (about $3000) that I earn there, subject to their 1% earnings tax. Owed them $30. Unfortunately, both times they caught me, and I had to shell out upwards of $9 in penalties and interest. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2016, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/165 "2016-02-23T14:52:51Z")
1. I used the same coupon at McDonalds over ten times to get an extra free breakfast sandwich. I told them I had a coupon, then they charged me for only one sandwich and just never bothered to ask me to give them the coupon, so I continued to use it until someone asked for it. It was a good run. 2. We initially bought our internet, cable and phone service as a package deal. After 2 years, we decided that we weren’t watching all that much TV and decided to terminate cable service. The company said that was fine and that we needed to return the cable box to them. After we did that, we still received their cable signal. All the 3 TV’s in my house continue to get the signal from the company, yet they don’t charge us. We don’t complain when service goes out due to weather because we don’t want them to find out we are getting our TV for free. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/166 "2016-02-23T15:29:02Z")
> [@edwardcoast](#): > > What could you have shop lifted from a paint store that would have been worth the same as a refund without getting any attention? I mean, you can’t easily walk out with another gallon of latex paint without them noticing. Or can you? It was a hardware chain, The channel lock side cutters I took had a value of about $16.00 40 years ago. The defective paint they sold me was closer to $35.00 if I remember right. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2016, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/167 "2016-02-23T15:40:03Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Bakery? 😃 > > Medical waste processor? :eek: I was thinking mortician. I have smuggled booze onto cruise ships, and popcorn and snacks into movie theaters. Two or three jobs ago, they were moving us to a new area, and they were going to use the biggest cubicle for the printer and put me into a smaller cube. Which was which, was marked with Post-It[sup]TM[/sup] notes. I sneaked down there the afternoon before cube set-up, and switched the notes. No one ever said anything, and I was in that cube for some years. I’m a bad-ass. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2016, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/168 "2016-02-23T16:53:36Z")
When I go shopping at Trader Joe’s, I’ll sometimes take a handful of their individually wrapped cutlery. I use it at home, so I don’t have to wash spoons and forks. When I go to pizzerias, or other places where there are lots of napkins available, I’ll sometimes take a handful of them and stick them in my coat pocket. They’re useful as tissues when I’m in transit. If it’s clear that the profit margins of the place are really slim, sometimes I’ll order an extra cookie or something in an attempt to make up for my napkin thievery. I sometimes take free samples more than once at the grocery store. (That’s especially true of the giant Korean supermarket near some of the towns I work in. The other day, I got to try Korean honey citron tea, mini seaweed rolls with crab, three different types of fish balls in soup, and a specific kind of asian pear I had no idea even existed. I made two very slow rounds of the store, trying everything twice. I ended up buying some of the pears, eating lunch in their East Asian food court, and making a note to come back for the frozen seaweed rolls, so…hmm…maybe their marketing strategy is working, and what I’m doing isn’t a mini-crime after all.) ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2016, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/169 "2016-02-23T17:05:56Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > And your post reminds me that my old roomie could have avoided the entire ugly episode if he’d waited a day. He could also have avoided it by you having not done it. Since it was 100% your choice to do and is no fault of your former roommate. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2016, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/170 "2016-02-23T21:32:56Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > …Other than that, I’m curious … how many hookers buried beneath one’s floor boards would disqualify one from a _micro_crime?.. I’m guessing that ANY number greater than zero would qualify! … aaand I’m guessing that any fraction BETWEEN zero and one would be extra-disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2016, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/171 "2016-02-24T04:42:01Z")
When I was a young lad (many, many, many years ago), you used to get 5c ‘deposit’ back on used soft drink bottles. At home, parents would always give the empties to the kids to take to the corner store for ‘lolly’ money. Anyway, there was this one shop that backed onto a lane, and the shop where the proprietor used to keep all the crates of bottles to be returned to the depot inside the yard. Mates and I used to jump the back fence, pinch half-a-dozen empties, and then go around to the front of the shop and ‘return’ them. It wasn’t that bad, because we just spent the money on more lollies from the shop anyway (which have about a 6,000,000% profit margin). ---
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2016, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/172 "2016-02-24T05:18:03Z")
On my way home tonight, for a brief moment, I was doing 26 miles per hour in a 25 mile per hour zone. I promptly realized the error of my ways, and as penance, went no faster than 24 miles per hour until I got home.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/173 "2016-02-24T15:59:14Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > I steal plastic utensils from the work breakroom At least you have utensils to steal! Our company went green several years ago and removed all disposal products from our break room except paper towels. If you want coffee, you need to have your own mug. If you’re a visitor, you need to borrow someone else’s mug. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2016, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/174 "2016-02-24T16:02:21Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > He could also have avoided it by you having not done it. Since it was 100% your choice to do and is no fault of your former roommate. I avoid no blame. I did what I did at my own choice. Nonetheless, it would not have happened if he’d waited that one day. Or just not gone straight to throwing me out instead of a more reasonable route. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2016, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/175 "2016-02-24T17:45:51Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > I avoid no blame. I did what I did at my own choice. Nonetheless, it would not have happened if he’d waited that one day. Or just not gone straight to throwing me out instead of a more reasonable route. Blame the victim…always the smart way to go. I can’t imagine what else you have rationalized yourself into committing. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/176 "2016-02-25T13:40:00Z")
It’s nice that we can’t have a thread about admitting things you know were wrong without some people lecturing everyone else about how they did something wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/177 "2016-02-25T14:35:18Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > It’s nice that we can’t have a thread about admitting things you know were wrong without some people lecturing everyone else about how they did something wrong. Well, to be honest, I went beyond the scope of the OP. But it’s funny that someone quoted me accepting all responsibility for my actions as evidence of me blaming someone else. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/178 "2016-02-25T14:49:33Z")
Post 174 suggests that you are not accepting full responsibility for your actions. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/179 "2016-02-25T15:35:43Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Post 174 suggests that you are not accepting full responsibility for your actions. Even though the first sentence explicitly does so. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2016, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934/180 "2016-02-25T16:35:08Z")
> [@CoastalMaineiac](#): > > On my way home tonight, for a brief moment, I was doing 26 miles per hour in a 25 mile per hour zone. I promptly realized the error of my ways, and as penance, went no faster than 24 miles per hour until I got home.🙂 Oh man I hear ya. First time I learned how to drive if I went even 1km over the city speed limit the instructor would yell "YOU’RE GOING TOO FAST! _YOU’RE BREAKING THE LAWWW!!!"_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess-your-micro-crimes-here/745934.md?page=10)