# Confess!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886 "2005-03-10T19:44:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/61 "2005-03-11T14:12:56Z")
OK, OK, OK, I confess … that **Hal Briston** did it!!! Oh, yea, and I’m also **Sparticus**. And **Brian**. And so’s my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Ragiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6de8d8/32.png) [@Ragiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ragiel)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/62 "2005-03-11T15:07:00Z")
> [@sweetfreak](#): > > Are you sure you have finished it yet? 😉 > > If you haven’t, could you please let me know when you are done, so I can purchase a copy instead of trying to figure this stuff out on my own. Gotta get back to you on that… Just doing a few revisions for the new edition, which should be out for Xmas. I take PayPal. ---
**Author:** ![Ragiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6de8d8/32.png) [@Ragiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ragiel)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/63 "2005-03-11T15:16:27Z")
I’m really not proud of this… I was playing poker with O.J., Robert Blake, Scott Peterson, and Michael Jackson on every single one of the nights in question. They’ll never make me testify, though. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/64 "2005-03-11T16:09:52Z")
Tikki took the cookie from the cookie jar! Wasn’t me. Couldn’t be. **Then who?** Scott took the cookie from the cookie jar! (repeat endlessly) ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/65 "2005-03-11T16:18:46Z")
I confess: I removed the label from my mattress while taping Monday night football with the express written permission of ABC but not the NFL. And I didn’t steal no bike neither! ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/66 "2005-03-11T17:02:36Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > I’m innocent! Innocent, I tells ya! Geraldine made me do it. Innocent, yes! But of _what_? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/67 "2005-03-11T18:04:47Z")
> [@dare\_devil007\_](#): > > Okay, okay…I admit it. > > I ate the blue pill. Oog. I ate a blue pill once. In an underground club in the Hague. _experiences flashback_ Oh, and that reminds me, I didn’t pay for the subway in Rotterdam. ---
**Author:** ![sweetfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@sweetfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweetfreak)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/68 "2005-03-11T20:11:59Z")
> [@sweetfreak](#): > > Okay, okay…I confess. > > I am God. > And it’s true. > I don’t exist. > 😛 Okay, okay…I confess. I am not God. I do exist. And my shrink keeps telling me to leave all of those people alone. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/69 "2005-03-12T01:08:28Z")
_He_ shot the sheriff. _I_ shot the Deputy. Serious confession? My parents were on vacation and I stole my Dad’s last propylactic so I could shag my girlfriend. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/70 "2005-03-12T01:17:00Z")
> [@sweetfreak](#): > > Okay, okay…I confess. > > I am not God. > I do exist. > And my shrink keeps telling me to leave all of those people alone. It’s not just my shrink who keeps telling me to leave all of these people alone. Damn cops ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/71 "2005-03-12T01:20:43Z")
> [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > It’s not just my shrink who keeps telling me to leave all of these people alone. Damn cops ☹ :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/72 "2005-03-12T01:35:37Z")
Don’t worry Floyd you’re safe from my stalking 🙂 I can’t get up to your bedroom… ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/73 "2005-03-12T01:37:30Z")
I also munch raw cheese slices and eat mayonnaise straight from the jar ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/74 "2005-03-12T02:28:41Z")
I’m on my second glass of wine. And I got all fired up in the pit a few moments ago. It was the Pinot Grigio. ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/75 "2005-03-12T15:08:51Z")
I did it. I took the Lindburg baby. ---
**Author:** ![Sancho\_Panzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Sancho\_Panzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sancho_Panzer)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/76 "2005-03-12T15:48:32Z")
When I was in college, I once got a girl drunk while remaining sober just so I could have sex with her. In my defense, she probably wouldn’t have slept with me had she not been intoxicated. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/77 "2005-03-12T15:52:12Z")
I copied Mary Sue Flimkin’s homework while in the seventh grade. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/78 "2005-03-12T15:53:45Z")
At the grocery store yesterday, I told a pushy and loud woman that she had sprayed on a bit too much testosterone cologne. Eek. Verbally inappropriate in public. Gotta tell my shrink about that one. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/79 "2005-03-12T16:06:54Z")
I came up with an intricate system of head-scratches, foot-shuffles, and taps which communicated answers on a monthly math competition to my teammates, who all sat in the same file as me. I would solve the problem and send the answer backwards up the file. We won the competition, and I had the highest score on my team (because the team had agreed to only take answers for the first four questions). We only did it in one competition, but the margin of victory from that win sent us to States, where the seating was :eek: random. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886/80 "2005-03-12T16:07:19Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Not 15 minutes ago, I took my work-neighbor’s last girl scout cookie. Didn’t even have the courtesy to throw the box away, either. > > Whew! I feel _much_ better now! Ha! You won’t feel so good once [Terry Tate, Office Linebacker](http://isobe.typepad.com/whats_up/2005/01/terry_tate_offi.html) comes down on your butt! “That’s not your cake! That’s Simone’s cake!” I must confess, I LOVE those ads. Plus, I’ve got Judge Crater out in my rose garden. Right under a lovely patch of floribundas. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confess/293886.md?page=5)