# Confessions of a whoremonger **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 12, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832 "2013-06-12T18:54:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/41 "2013-06-13T17:08:04Z")
> [@joecool1983](#): > > Oh, I do try to spend as much time as possible with her. I do treat her really well. Her boyfriend and she currently live in a tent in the woods. Whenever there’s really bad weather, I invite them into my home to stay the night for a nice, warm, comfortable place to sleep. A place to get cleaned up/shower. Let them raid the cabinets. Buy them food when I can. But, the reality is, she does have a boyfriend and she does have other clients that she sees when I don’t have any money. I can’t monopolize all of her time. Usually she gives me a BJ or we have sex in the back seat of my SUV. There’s this guy, Darnell, in her neighborhood, who rents out rooms for $10 for johns/prostitutes to use for their sessions. We’ve gone there a few times. It’s just until I’m finished. I’m not going to lie, I sometimes have a hard time getting off. I’ve had trouble getting off because of medications in the past. She’s a trooper. She’s gone down on me for a good 30-45 minutes before until I finished. Even when her boyfriend started blowing up the phone to see where we were at. I do notice her habits. She’s totally shot up heroin in the back seat of my car before dates before. A couple times when we went to Darnell’s she totally smoked crack right in front of me before we started. Maybe once or twice it seemed like she was going to nod out, but she’s never actually fell asleep or not finished the job. I’m not gonna lie but I see nothing wrong with this relationship. Good for you! ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/42 "2013-06-13T17:08:14Z")
What are you gonna do when she ODs? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/43 "2013-06-13T17:13:01Z")
Build a makeshift memorial in his pants. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/44 "2013-06-13T17:41:07Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > **joe** , we’re giving you a hard time because you’re treating this as a real relationship, when it isn’t. You’re apparently so starved for affection that you’re convincing yourself that you’re falling in love with this woman just because she pays attention to you. I strongly doubt that she reciprocates your feelings. If you want to be genuinely happy long-term, you’d be better off working on yourself and figuring out why you have trouble approaching wkomen more generally. Quoted for truth. Not to say it’s easy, if you’re starved for affection, to give up the one source you have for it; but look for healthier, safer ways to meet that need. At least if you continue to see this woman, don’t kid yourself about the nature of the “relationship,” and stay safe, both from STDs and from the violence or thievery that drug addicts are often prone to. By the way, in the past we’ve had a thread [Ask the guy who used to frequent hookers!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=161233) (in addition to [Ask the Icebear (aka guy who visits brothels)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=625497) from **polar bear** , who has posted in this thread). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/45 "2013-06-13T19:05:30Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Quoted for truth. Not to say it’s easy, if you’re starved for affection, to give up the one source you have for it; but look for healthier, safer ways to meet that need. At least if you continue to see this woman, don’t kid yourself about the nature of the “relationship,” and stay safe, both from STDs and from the violence or thievery that drug addicts are often prone to. > > By the way, in the past we’ve had a thread [Ask the guy who used to frequent hookers!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=161233) (in addition to [Ask the Icebear (aka guy who visits brothels)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=625497) from **polar bear** , who has posted in this thread). You forgot the [best one of all](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=644543). ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/46 "2013-06-13T19:10:39Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > You forgot the [best one of all](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=644543). This _is_ the best one ever. How did I not see this? Gold star for you! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/47 "2013-06-13T19:12:27Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > How do you handle the question of STD’s? Do you use prophylactics when receiving oral sex? Personally, I’d have one on if I was talking with her on the phone. I’d text bareback, but I’m all about risk. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/48 "2013-06-13T19:16:11Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Personally, I’d have one on if I was talking with her on the phone. I’d text bareback, but I’m all about risk. I feel like I need a condom on just reading this thread… ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/49 "2013-06-13T19:43:39Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’d text bareback, but I’m all about risk. Even \*69?!:eek: ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/50 "2013-06-13T19:44:44Z")
Are you worried about the day when you don’t want her as your sex provider anymore, but she and her boyfriend still want you for your money and apartment? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/51 "2013-06-13T20:11:30Z")
Do you think she’s interested in you at all? What makes you think so (or not)? You mentioned that you’re in love with her because you really like what she does. Do you ever reciprocate and give her pleasure as well? Do the drugs bother you? Do you worry she is going to OD? How does the boyfriend feel about you? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/52 "2013-06-13T20:17:40Z")
How did you even find a hooker? I wouldn’t know where to start. I would think that cruising for them downtown is too much of a risk of arrest. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/53 "2013-06-13T20:22:31Z")
> [@joecool1983](#): > > I’m not gonna lie. I do love Nicole. I’m in love with her. She’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a real girlfriend. The sex is mind blowing and amazing. If you love her, don’t you want her to stop doing drugs and engaging in a dangerous and self destructive profession? Have you ever been in a romantic relationship with a woman that was not explicitly prostitution? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/54 "2013-06-13T20:25:24Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > If you love her, don’t you want her to stop doing drugs and engaging in a dangerous and self destructive profession? I would think the answer to this question is an emphatic NO. She wouldn’t have any use for him if she was sober. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/55 "2013-06-13T20:26:50Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > How did you even find a hooker? I wouldn’t know where to start. I would think that cruising for them downtown is too much of a risk of arrest. Apparently one goes hiking in the forest. Technically, she’s not a hooker; she’s a wood nymph. A dryad, if memory serves. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/56 "2013-06-13T20:27:59Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > If you love her, don’t you want her to stop doing drugs and engaging in a dangerous and self destructive profession? Assuming all of this is true, the answer is obviously no because these people are all using each other. There’s no love here. Convenience and I suppose codependency, but nothing like love. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/57 "2013-06-13T20:53:07Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > You forgot the [best one of all](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=644543). > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > This _is_ the best one ever. How did I not see this? Gold star for you! That was a fantastic read. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > How does the boyfriend feel about you? I don’t think the boyfriend cares. He stays at the home of one of her Johns and is probably watching tv while they are having sex in the bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/58 "2013-06-13T23:19:48Z")
> [@colander](#): > > What are you gonna do when she ODs? You’re going to give her an injection of adrenaline directly to her heart. But she’s got, uh, breastplate… So you gotta pierce through that. So what you have to do is, you have to bring the needle down in a stabbing motion. > [@YogSosoth](#): > > How did you even find a hooker? I wouldn’t know where to start. I would think that cruising for them downtown is too much of a risk of arrest. Don’t you have an alternative weekly nearby? You pick one up and turn to the back. Then it helps to check urban dictionary or similar to make sure you’re not getting the wrong kind of hooker! ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/59 "2013-06-14T00:49:25Z")
How did you find this board, and why this board in particular, to ask this question, as to date, all of your posts are within this thread? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832/60 "2013-06-14T01:28:58Z")
> [@joecool1983](#): > > I’m not going to lie, I love the girl Nicole I’ve been seeing. I’m in love with her. I just feel like I have this great connection to her. This great bond to her. I feel comfortable with her. I like what she does. She does what she does really well. She just totally knows what I like and knows how to get me off. You do realize that’s because she spends hours a day practicing making men feel a connection with her so they will keep paying her money? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-a-whoremonger/660832.md?page=4)