# Confessions of an Emoticon Abuser **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307 "2000-08-06T06:11:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/1 "2000-08-06T06:11:41Z")
Yes, I asmit it, I am an emoticon abuser. I will sit down to post and thoughtfully type out a response. My wit and humor will amaze you (or perhaps not). I will devastate your pathetic arguments. I will flirt shamelessly. I will call you a scummy whorelicker for failing to see my point of view. Then, for variety’s sake, I will flirt shamelessly some more. I may even throw in some derogatory remarks about your nationality, especially if you are from Canada. If you’re from Delaware, you are also not safe. I might try to start a brawl, or at least join in an existing one. Then, it happens. I can’t control it. I will invariably type in the silly little code, click “submit reply”, and wait to see my post pop up with those little yellow and green bastards after every third line. Then, I feel guilty and dirty and ashamed. 😃 (Damn!) ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/2 "2000-08-06T06:15:46Z")
It seems right that I sould be the first poster here. I HAVE _NEVER_ USED A SMILEY!!! Or any other emoticon. I’m with the Chief, they bug me. Oh yeah, and I never learned how to use them… ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/3 "2000-08-06T15:39:22Z")
\*\<=o) \>[=^)] ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/4 "2000-08-06T16:49:03Z")
=|:)\> ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/5 "2000-08-06T19:37:02Z")
÷Ð ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/6 "2000-08-06T19:42:44Z")
What the hell is that, “spade-faced”? ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/7 "2000-08-06T20:03:05Z")
Since most message boards convert them to sliley faces, I call them “smileys”. I like them, but try to avoid their uneccessary use due to ChiefScott’s sensitivity to the little buggers. Still, sometimes they’re necessary. Heck, I even make my own, but since the img tag doesn’t work here, I can’t display them in their intended environment. Here’s some examples anyway: [ul] [http://www.geocities.com/cyrano\_jones.geo/SmileyFaces.htm](http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/SmileyFaces.htm) [/ul] ~~Baloo ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/8 "2000-08-06T20:11:48Z")
I like smileys a lot, that’s what I call them.🙂 I say wow, to you **Baloo** , your smileys looks great…) ---
**Author:** ![gillygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@gillygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gillygirl)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/9 "2000-08-06T20:40:02Z")
I’ll second that “ **WOW** ” LOL I just learned how to use smilies so I’m not a junkie yet (but probably will become one 😛 I am a fiend for animated cursers/pointers though. My fav is my pointer…it’s a grey cat that scratches behind his ear, then yawns, then licks his nose, blinks his eyes, then tweeks an ear LOL He moves his head to scratch behind his ear, and considering one ear is the “active” part of the pointer, it did take some getting use to for sure…but worth it! LOL ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/10 "2000-08-07T10:38:52Z")
_All_ smiley users must die – slowly, painfully. ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/11 "2000-08-07T10:42:38Z")
:)Chief:)Scott,:)do:)I:)offend you? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/12 "2000-08-07T10:45:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*_All_ smiley users must die – slowly, painfully. \*\* Hi Chief! Um… How much to forget I ever posted here? ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/13 "2000-08-08T02:47:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*_All_ smiley users must die – slowly, painfully. \*\* Tough luck, Chief! I’m not in your chain of command, I’m retired, and (as a civilian) I am allowed to keep firearms in my quarters. You’re welcome to stop by for a beer if you’re ever in the neighborhood, and rest assured my smileys are not on public display in my home. Offer violence, however… \<\\> ~~Baloo ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/14 "2000-08-08T03:17:23Z")
Can’r…fight…the…compulsion… ha ha, this’ll learn you ChiefScott: :D;):D:D:D;):D:D:D:D :eek: 😕 Oh just shoot me now and have it done with ---
**Author:** ![cygnus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@cygnus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cygnus)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/15 "2000-08-08T16:20:48Z")
**gillygirl** , I’m charmed by your description of your animated cursor. Is it something that could be shared? Or linked to, if you downloaded it from someplace? Pleeeeese??? (with earnest eyes and an entreating smile - don’t know an emoticon for it, though) ---
**Author:** ![OESGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecae2f/32.png) [@OESGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OESGal)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/16 "2000-08-08T16:38:58Z")
I think that smileys are a nice way to show facial expressions. Since I grin a lot I like this one 😃 Why would someone not like them 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/17 "2000-08-08T16:54:30Z")
Because Cheif is a cold, black hearted man. He hates everything happy. I once saw him rip the heads off an entire litter of kittens! The only thing that placates this man is boobies. ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/18 "2000-08-08T17:18:53Z")
> [@](#): > > The only thing that placates this man is boobies. - - - - - - - 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/19 "2000-08-08T17:51:27Z")
Some good efforts here, but if you really want to irk the ol’ Chief, you gotta break out the big guns, as in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=32413). Heh, heh. 'Course, I have since moved and left no forwarding address. Can’t be too careful, you know. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions-of-an-emoticon-abuser/28307/20 "2000-08-09T08:55:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*_All_ smiley users must die – slowly, painfully. \*\* Look, ChiefScott, like the lady in Hamlet clearly “doth protest too much”. The fact is, in this very thread, he posted a smiley of his own (his second post in this thread): [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=16635](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=16635) I posted this as one of the legendary Michelle threads in Michi’s birthday thread, which is how I saw it. I did NOT search ChiefScott’s 3000+ threads, searching for smiley usage. [sub]no, this was part of my obsessive need to learn everything I could about Michi, which I’m much more willing to cop to, dammit[/sub]