# Confessions **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2001, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821 "2001-07-09T13:34:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/201 "2001-07-26T21:18:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nymysys \* > [B-I consider myself a groupie. I have met guys and started dating them just because I like their band and thought they were sexy onstage. I now try to avoid the three Bs. Bouncers, bartenders and boys in the band. Lessons learned, I guess. \*\* Hey, Nymysys…how 'bout comedians? I could use a groupie. 😃 And will you be attending the infamous ChiDope? ---
**Author:** ![ARose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@ARose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ARose)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/202 "2001-07-26T22:38:01Z")
First, my pugs \> Russel Crowe. Good in Gladiator, but a womanizer nonetheless. Here come the confessions… -I’ve slept with Catalyst on more than one occasion… -I lurked on the SDMB for some time before even registering, and even now I rarely post. -I’ve spent the majority of the past couple days analyzing tidbits I’ve learned about Searching For Truth. -I’m the only person my age who likes (and has liked since near birth) Tom Petty. -I’ll listen to a Pink Floyd record, then a Danzig record, and then some DJ Micro techo, finishing it all off with Judas Priest. -I have a fascination with Vampirism and most things that accompany it. -I spent my days wishing that I were doing something else, that it was tomorrow, or that it was yesterday. -My female involment has been so minimal that my Dad tried to give me a “facts of life” talk… again. -I have, once in my existence, wanted to hit a woman, after seeing/hearing the hell she was putting my older sister through. -I’ve spent nights trying to parodize songs that were a fraction as funny as some of Weird Al’s songs, haha. Not a whole lot to confess about but… _shrug_ I guess I’m a good guy. –ARose (not the flower, my first initial and last name) ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/203 "2001-07-26T22:39:07Z")
I am an unabashed, unapologetic anarcho-capitalist who has (to date) converted 8 confirmed socialists to my point of view. I own and regularly discharge several firearms I carry a gun at almost all times, except when I’m drinking I drink, occasionally to excess I believe that every adult should be armed at all times except when they’re drinking or otherwise impaired I’ve been in an open marriage for almost seven years I love my wife I also love my girlfriend I adore dogs I tolerate cats (usually) I detest the majority of children and an even higher percentage of parents I drive way too fast way too often I hate Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, the Beatles, Led Zep and \ Steely Dan I am a big fan of Rob Zombie, Meat Loaf, Paul Oakenfold, Kid Rock, Waylon Jennings, Travis Tritt and Gloria Estefan I am a goth I am a very disciplined writer and poet, but I’m too lazy to shop around for an agent I drink an average of 20 cups of coffee a day I’ve been told I perform cunnilingus like a girl I enjoy giving oral sex more than receiving it I hold two black belts As a teenager I worked as a collector for a bookie I like toys I don’t like most people I hate Disney and the Disney Co. and consistently put Walt in the top five list of people I’d kill if I could go back in time and negate their impact I’m a Winnie the Pooh fan and loathe the fact that Disney Co. has the rights to him While very gentle in the flesh I have very twisted fantasies I’m not a nice guy, but lots of people think I am because I’m polite and courteous I have a very bad temper and very good control of it I’ve never cheated on my taxes, but MAN have I bitched about them My favorite book is “Bright Lights, Big City” I don’t really like anything else Jay McInerny wrote I like bad movies I don’t like art flicks (usually) I really like Asian food. I’ve run out of things to list, although I could probably go on for hours if I tried Oh yeah, I’m verbose ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/204 "2001-07-26T22:45:26Z")
I am an unabashed, unapologetic anarcho-capitalist who has (to date) converted 8 confirmed socialists to my point of view. I own and regularly discharge several firearms I carry a gun at almost all times, except when I’m drinking I drink, occasionally to excess I believe that every adult should be armed at all times except when they’re drinking or otherwise impaired I’ve been in an open marriage for almost seven years I love my wife I also love my girlfriend I adore dogs I tolerate cats (usually) I detest the majority of children and an even higher percentage of parents I drive way too fast way too often I hate Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, the Beatles, Led Zep and \ Steely Dan I am a big fan of Rob Zombie, Meat Loaf, Paul Oakenfold, Kid Rock, Waylon Jennings, Travis Tritt and Gloria Estefan I am a goth I am a very disciplined writer and poet, but I’m too lazy to shop around for an agent I drink an average of 20 cups of coffee a day I’ve been told I perform cunnilingus like a girl I enjoy giving oral sex more than receiving it I hold two black belts As a teenager I worked as a collector for a bookie I like toys I don’t like most people I hate Disney and the Disney Co. and consistently put Walt in the top five list of people I’d kill if I could go back in time and negate their impact I’m a Winnie the Pooh fan and loathe the fact that Disney Co. has the rights to him While very gentle in the flesh I have very twisted fantasies I’m not a nice guy, but lots of people think I am because I’m polite and courteous I have a very bad temper and very good control of it I’ve never cheated on my taxes, but MAN have I bitched about them My favorite book is “Bright Lights, Big City” I don’t really like anything else Jay McInerny wrote I like bad movies I don’t like art flicks (usually) I really like Asian food. I’ve run out of things to list, although I could probably go on for hours if I tried Oh yeah, I’m verbose ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/205 "2001-07-26T22:59:29Z")
I am an unabashed, unapologetic anarcho-capitalist who has (to date) converted 8 confirmed socialists to my point of view. I own and regularly discharge several firearms I carry a gun at almost all times, except when I’m drinking I drink, occasionally to excess I believe that every adult should be armed at all times except when they’re drinking or otherwise impaired I’ve been in an open marriage for almost seven years I love my wife I also love my girlfriend I adore dogs I tolerate cats (usually) I detest the majority of children and an even higher percentage of parents I drive way too fast way too often I hate Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, the Beatles, Led Zep and \ Steely Dan I am a big fan of Rob Zombie, Meat Loaf, Paul Oakenfold, Kid Rock, Waylon Jennings, Travis Tritt and Gloria Estefan I am a goth I am a very disciplined writer and poet, but I’m too lazy to shop around for an agent I drink an average of 20 cups of coffee a day I’ve been told I perform cunnilingus like a girl I enjoy giving oral sex more than receiving it I hold two black belts As a teenager I worked as a collector for a bookie I like toys I don’t like most people I hate Disney and the Disney Co. and consistently put Walt in the top five list of people I’d kill if I could go back in time and negate their impact I’m a Winnie the Pooh fan and loathe the fact that Disney Co. has the rights to him While very gentle in the flesh I have very twisted fantasies I’m not a nice guy, but lots of people think I am because I’m polite and courteous I have a very bad temper and very good control of it I’ve never cheated on my taxes, but MAN have I bitched about them My favorite book is “Bright Lights, Big City” I don’t really like anything else Jay McInerny wrote I like bad movies I don’t like art flicks (usually) I really like Asian food. I’ve run out of things to list, although I could probably go on for hours if I tried Oh yeah, I’m verbose ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/206 "2001-07-26T23:01:07Z")
My system told me it timed out twice when I tried to post the confession. If a mod wouldn’t mind wiping out two of those three, I’d GREATLY appreciate it. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/207 "2001-07-27T23:10:33Z")
I drive like a complete asshole. I have no intention of changing this. I used to work on a phone sex line. I was great at it, and I had to pay the rent somehow. I used to work on a psychic hot line. I quit because I didn’t think I had appropriate training to help people in crisis. I’d go back to working there if I was desperate enough. My job requires me to act like a total bitch. As long as that’s what I’m paid for, I don’t mind. If they paid me less, I might object. Time is money, right? They give me money, they tell me how to use my time. I often work very hard. I often screw off and post instead of working. I don’t feel bad about that, either. People often think I’m nice because I don’t argue with them. It’s really because I don’t give a flying shit what anyone else thinks. If I love somebody, I argue. I ate the last of the fudge when Mr. Seawitch was at work. Then I asked him if he did it, since I couldn’t find it. He thinks he’s losing his memory… but doesn’t know I ate all the fudge. Heh. I smoke. In California, this is just like saying you poke babies with a pitchfork. I smoke anyway. I’m considering making up another confession so I’ll seem more interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/208 "2001-07-27T23:31:26Z")
Reading these confessions has been oddly therapeutic. And comforting to find some people have some of the same dark secrets as me. Here are mine: 1. My father would not have died if I had not been born. 2. I used to steal candy bars from Lewes Dairy in Rehoboth Delaware 3. I’m scared of bugs. 4. I lie about my SAT score 5. I sort of miss believing in God ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/209 "2001-07-28T03:24:17Z")
I confess… I’m horribly jealous of **Catalyst’s** lavendar hair. I need to drive to TN, have sex, then come back. Everything will be fine then. (Ok, maybe not.) I need to drive to VA and kick someone’s ass and knock some sense into **Shogun Haircut**. The past couple days I’ve spent slowly getting to know **ARose** have been very interesting. Tonight I was on **Catalyst’s** couch with no pants on. **ARose** and **AFireInside** and **Jon Locke** were there, too. I think it’s hilarious, specially since I’m telling the truth, just ask. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/210 "2001-07-28T17:47:23Z")
Stinky Paws isn’t the only Doper I’ve had phone sex with. He knows who the other is. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/211 "2001-07-29T02:48:52Z")
**ARose** just made my day. (Wow, it’s a good thing I read over that. It originally said "made my dad.) ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/212 "2001-07-29T04:08:55Z")
In order to get out of paying for a cab ride, I gave the driver ‘phone sex’ from the back seat. (I figured, how hard could it be, I know all the swear words. It’s really hard if you have to look at the back of their head) If not for my dogs, I’m sure I would have killed myself years ago. I suffer from severe clinical depression and and a semi recovered bulimic I love my dogs so much it makes my heart hurt. I think I am the one of the most thoughtful, considerate people I know, but no one seems to care. I have a tattoo of ‘Little Wooden Boy’ on my lower back I ran my dishwasher 3 days ago and I still haven’t emptied it yet, due to my unbelievable laziness When I quit college one month into the first semester no one thought I’d ever go back. I have two degrees now, but I never even cracked a book. I was in the honor society and feel like I pulled off some major scam. I am embarrassed if I have to explain a word to a friend. After reading a book, I spend days, thinking in my head, in the style of the author. I will read almost anything, if I’m desparate I can’t spell and I don’t care. I do so little work and get paid a pretty decent salary for reading the SDMB I spent hours at work last week, calling hotels for the ChiDopefest, and I don’t feel the least bit guilty. I LOVE AEROSMITH and I think Joe Perry is HOT!!! I saw Rogers Waters last year, an hour after I found out my favorite aunt died. If anyone would have told me to suck it up and go, it would have been her, but I still feel guilty. I still miss her even though we weren’t that close. I am Jewish and I went to a Christian College because they had an excellerated program for working adults. I exploited my Jewish-ness for all it was worth. I would start GD in class to keep me awake. (example: during art history, while being shown slides of the Sistine Chapel, I insisted that we find out why Adam has a navel. I have a filthy mind and a mouth to match. I dated a guy who went to Annapolis and one day while I was bitching about something, he said, “where’d you learn to talk like that? Is the fleet in? I was in the Navy and I’m embarassed.” I told him to fuck off. In retrospect, I think he is/was my soulmate and the only man I didn’t have to spell words out to. But due to my extreme mental issues, I screwed it up so bad, I will never see him again. I have no idea who or what Rammstein is. I usually date the most Arayn looking guy I can find. (remember I’m Jewish, so it drives my mother nuts) my fingers are tired. ---
**Author:** ![Studi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Studi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Studi)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/213 "2001-07-29T05:37:05Z")
Nineteen-year-old, Canadian, white, male. [ul] [li] I hate Americans. I know that there are smart ones out there, but that’s not obvious by walking down the street of an average American city.[/li] [li] Used CDs rock; I have no intention of ever buying a new CD ever again.[/li] [li] I’m afraid of failing at university come September.[/li] [li] I’m afraid that too many concerts right next to the speakers have damaged my hearing.[/li] [li] I’m fascinated by methods of torture and execution. They’re just so creative.[/li] [li] My tolerance to alcohol has dropped drastically (which is good).[/li] [li] I often have trouble suppressing a sudden urge to seriously injure strangers.[/li] [li] I can’t tolerate children.[/li] [li] I try not to be racist, but often find this difficult. Some things are just ingrained.[/li] [/ul] Studi ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/214 "2001-07-29T06:05:51Z")
I’ve made 13 people become athiest who were catholic. I’m not an athiest,not a catholic either, and don’t have a single thing against them… I’m an agorophobic (spelling). I only leave my house for work and the gym and I run home. I workout for 3 hours a day and only eat just enough for my body to stay healthy. I flex in the mirror, not to be vain, but to make sure that i don’t have fat anywhere, at all. I’ve gone two weeks without speaking a word simply because I didn’t have anything really to say. I love, love songs and listen to them constantly. I own every Madonna CD. I cut myself in spots where I know I won’t die simply because I LOVE the taste of blood (Only mine and wife’s so as to be safe). I love everything with sugar I’ll do anything my wife tells me and I love to Everyone thinks I’m easy going and laid back, meanwhile I worry about everything. I am a Dawson’s Creek freak, and I get offended when people make fun of Dawson cause I relate to him so much (and pretty much look exactly like him to boot). ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/215 "2001-07-29T06:23:32Z")
Rammstein is a german heavy metal band. -I have since gotten over the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me a long long time ago. Now, oddly enough, I am happy for him. I’m somehow glad that he got some from this girl, cause he wasn’t getting any from me. -I’m not the least bit irked by this fact, I’m just glad that I don’t feel shitty about the whole situation anymore. -I have not had any physical contact with my love for 11 days, and I miss him terribly. It will be another 2 until I can touch him again. -I’ve been flirting with the idea of bisexuality for a little while. Nothing serious, just thinking. -I am appalled at the fact that my best friend used to think that I was homophobic. I am appalled at a lot of the things she routinely accuses me of, thinking that she’s being funny or cute or in no way harmful to me; such as homophobic and cheap. -I think **ShibbOleth** has a terrible crush on me, and have been checking the boards to see if he’s replied to any of my posts religiously for about 5 days. -Various posters I would like to get to know more than anything; **hardygrrl, jarbabyj, Elenfair…** That’s all for now. Oh. -I’m really horny. ---
**Author:** ![Crispy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Crispy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crispy)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/216 "2001-07-29T08:05:23Z")
I’ve been on this board for nine months and lurk daily, but I rarely post because I feel I have nothing meaningful to add. And this is while I’m in MPSIMS. I think beer tastes like watered down urine. I only drink coffee if is specially flavored and has about five sugars in it. I don’t really believe in Christianity, but go to a Catholic church almost every Sunday because I love spending time with the family I go with. I am a humongous slacker. I do only what is absolutely necessary to get by. My ex’s mom has walked in on me flipping through said ex’s porn on numerous occaisions. I have used people for sex. I started smoking those _special_ cigarettes again last week after quitting for over two years. And I’m happy about it. I have fantasized about aforementioned ex’s father who is almost 50 years old. I dislike almost all children and have vowed to never have my own. I call my cat Spawn of Satan because I think cats are evil. But I love most animals more than people. I cried yesterday when I couldn’t stop my car to save a turtle who was trying to cross the road. I hardly ever eat, and when I do it is usually bread or cheese. I am still relatively healthy. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Dead\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecb155/32.png) [@Living\_Dead\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Dead_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/217 "2001-07-29T13:16:47Z")
My best friend still thinks I haven’t smoked pot - over a year after the fact. Nor do I plan on telling her. I hate the taste of cigarettes, but still smoke occasionally - and I’m getting to like it more and more. This is very vaguely scary to me. I don’t really click with most of my friends. Nor really like them very much. I don’t get this either. I used to want to be an actress - I did classes, plays, you name it - but ever since I started High School, I’ve lost the want and seemingly the ability as well. I don’t know why. And I really don’t care as much as I expected myself to. I’ve offended almost every single one of my friends on some occasion or another. I at first thought it was because they had no sense of humour, but I’m starting to wonder if mine is just extremely depraved. I didn’t cry once after my Grandfather died. I almost felt like I didn’t care enough afterwards. I’ve since been told that it’s a natural thing to happen, but it still scares me. Sometimes I don’t think I care enough about other people. Two of my friends often come to me with the threat of - yet another - suicide attempt. The last time it happened, my first reaction was to roll my eyes and wonder when the hell they were going to get it over with already. I often fantasise about what my funeral will be like. I can’t stand it when someone constantly whines about their problems - which they could more often than not solve if they actually WANTED to. If it’s important, of course, I’ll listen - but often it’s just the same petty bullshit. I really wish there was a polite way to say “fuck off” to these people. According to anyone knows me, I don’t care enough. About anything. I don’t really see this as a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/218 "2001-07-30T04:22:34Z")
I love Journey and have come so very close to buying their Greatest Hits any number of times. I hated The English Patient. I’ve never been able to finish Catcher in the Rye. I always get distracted by something else around page 60. I blare most Britney Spears and \*N Sync songs when I’m in the car and enthusiastically sing along to them. I have patches of hair on my upper arms that grow much more robustly than the rest of my arm hair. So I trim them about every 2 weeks. I have no desire to stay in my home state, Michigan, despite how beautiful it is. I prefer the concrete jungle of New York City to the majestic beauty of north Michigan. I still hold out hope, however small it may be, of getting back with my ex, because I can’t imagine two people more better suited for eachother. God do I love WWF wrestling. ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/219 "2001-07-30T04:47:53Z")
I just realized I have a lot more to confess. Oh, and I’m a 22 straight, white male, though I think that has no bearing on my confessions. After riding an intellectual high horse for 6 years, I find myself really believing in Christianity again. In fact, I’ll probably go to Church for the first time in 6 years next weekend. (But I will never become born-again.) I love my cell phone. I love using it. I love using it while driving. So there. I collect Beanie Babies, so long as they’re a freakish animal. Like the platypus. But I also have lefty and righty, the political Beanies. I stayed up 26 hours on Election Day 2000. I sometimes try to imagine what’s going on in my life as a situtaion on Star Trek The Next Generation and ask myself what would Capt. Picard do. I’m really, really tired right now. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821/220 "2001-08-05T00:50:52Z")
I’ve never read a MAD magazine. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one, but I recognize the characters face. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confessions/71821.md?page=12)