# Confirmation to a church-- A child's choice, or a parent's right? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confirmation-to-a-church-a-childs-choice-or-a-parents-right/191044 "2003-07-26T06:19:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confirmation-to-a-church-a-childs-choice-or-a-parents-right/191044/21 "2003-07-27T04:16:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > **Diogenes, I wouldn’t knock all Catholic schools-your Jesuits give a DAMN fine education, and Catholic colleges are some of the best in the world.** Oh, I know that, **Guin** , I have a lot of respect for Catholic education in many ways and I even respect the logical consistency and structure of Catholic theology (my wife likes to say that Catholics are the _smart_ Christians) and I don’t have any doubt that my daughter would receive a good education. I just worry about an unrebutted religious indoctrination. I’ve already decided to defer to my wife raisng her in the Church and sending her to a Catholic school as long as I get to expose her to other viewpoints, teach her somthing about historical context, scientific method, Zen meditation, etc. I just really want her to know how to think and be critical. As far as Christian schools go, I’d much rather send her through twelve years of Catholic school followed by college at Notre Dame than send her through even a semester at a fundie school (or a lot of public schools for that matter). ---
**Author:** ![Dogface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Dogface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogface)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confirmation-to-a-church-a-childs-choice-or-a-parents-right/191044/22 "2003-07-29T15:50:14Z")
The Orthodox Church does not have “confirmation”. We Chrismate at Baptism. If you’re in, you’re in. There is no specific age at which somebody is “officially cognizant”. Instead, we leave that decision to God. The most outwardly devout could actually be the worst hypocrite and the most contrary git could actually be quite devoted. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confirmation-to-a-church-a-childs-choice-or-a-parents-right/191044/23 "2003-07-29T16:25:07Z")
Interestingly, out in the Ottawa Valley, there was a debate between two bishops (one from Ottawa (Ontario), the other from Gatineau (Quebec) right across the bridge). The Ottawa bishop wanted to push back confirmation to age 16, when “kids” could make the decision themselves. The Quebec bishop wanted to practice the “get them as soon as they’re warm” technique: Baptism, first communion and confirmation all in one, at baptism. His argument? It was to make sure these kids were confirmed in the end, because too many were skipping out on the confirmation. Sort of a “HA! You can’t leave now! You’ve CONFIRMED YOUR FAITH! HAAAAA! JOKE’S ON YOU, KID!” response to the teenager who’d want to leave the church or who questionned his beliefs. I don’t think either of the bishops got what they wanted, in the end. ---
**Author:** ![carimwc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@carimwc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carimwc)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confirmation-to-a-church-a-childs-choice-or-a-parents-right/191044/24 "2003-07-29T20:59:32Z")
I was confirmed at 16 in the Catholic Church. It sure as heck wasn’t my decision. In fact I know that it wasn’t the decision of most of my classmates either, most of whom hadn’t been to church in years, most likely not since their First Communion. They hated the classes and only went because their parents would have killed them if they didn’t. I did not want to be confirmed and told my parents. They said, do it anyway, you might regret it later. There was no choice. I ended up becoming a bit involved in Church things afte confirmation (choir, song leader, one of the first high school Eucharistic Ministers, etc.) but I haven’t been to Church in 3 years and I don’t give a rat’s a@@. When they say you have a choice, they really mean your parents have a choice and it’s up to you to try to talk them out of it or deal with the mess that it will cause if you dare to disagree. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confirmation-to-a-church-a-childs-choice-or-a-parents-right/191044/25 "2003-07-29T21:25:25Z")
**carimwc** , IIRC if you did not want to be confirmed, then your confirmation was in appearance only (i.e. not in the spirit of the sacrament, and therefore not valid). From what I understand of it, that is, though someone more versed in RCC doctrine could probably put it a lot more usefully. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confirmation-to-a-church-a-childs-choice-or-a-parents-right/191044.md?page=1)