# Confused and chastened by Tubadiva **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 31, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736 "2002-07-31T18:32:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/201 "2002-08-03T00:25:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > > Okay, I have read this thread and please correct me if I am wrong, Ok, knowing that you’re more than just a friend to me, but a sister, I hope you’ll take no offense when I take you up on your offer to correct you here? > [@](#): > > Many people think **TubaDiva** made an incorrect decision in closing **Scylla** ’s thread. Yup so far… > [@](#): > > Many people thought she made a snotty comment. Nope. Many people pointed out that she did, _in fact_, make a snotty comment. It’s really not a matter of perception – what she said was clearly an insult – there’s really no other way to interpret it. We didn’t “think” the made a snotty comment – we called her on making a snotty comment. I hope you see the distinction, as I believe it’s relevant. > [@](#): > > **TubaDiva** gave an honest explanation of her action. she was HONEST, nowhere did she say that it was going to be a policy of the board to disallow future threads that she personally thinks are not in good taste, just that THAT one, at THAT time, struck her as too tasteless to exist. Therein lies the gyst of every concern that’s been voiced here, hon… where _is_ that line? In this case, based on her honest explanation, the line _appears_ to be either (a) complaints she receives, (b) the fact that _she_ thinks the thread isn’t funny, or clever, or © that it might be viewed by some outside, unknown 3rd party that we’re unaware might be relevant, which could prove detrimental to her job hunt. (???). Uhm, how are we supposed to comply with something so arbitrary? What people called for _wasn’t_ an honest explanation, but a specific clarification of just what’s considered “too much information,” or proper governance of our brains. I seriously doubt that any _reasonable_ person whose previous thread on the exact same subject not only made “Threadspotting,” but was chosen to be put there by none other than **Tuba Diva** , herself, could have possibly concluded as they sat down at their keyboard and typed out that thread, that there could even remotely have been a problem with it. > [@](#): > > Many people jumped all over her for her honest explanation. Not true. People are scratching their heads at her honest explanation because it still doesn’t make sense, it offers no real clarification other than a justification for her “mood,” it outright insults us for our behaviour possibly causing her here-to-fore inability to land a job and offers nary an apology for insulting **Scylla** personally or violating the very rules she’s charged with upholding. > [@](#): > > I conclude from all of this that: > > A) A Moderator is not allowed to make a mistake. > > B) An Administrator is not only not allowed to make a MISTAKE, > she/he is not even allowed to be **HUMAN**!!! > > Is that a fair assessment of this thread? No, not at all. Everyone here acknowledged that it was clear to them that she’d made a “mistake” and that they all sincerely hoped that everything was ok with her, precisely because we all know that she’s human! But if it was, indeed, a mistake, the proper course of action is an apology and a re-opening of the thread to correct it. Unfortunately, **Jenny** hasn’t, herself, called it a mistake, so make of that what you will. Oh, and since I didn’t say so before, **Jenny** , I do wish you luck in finding a job. I do know exactly how frustrating it is, as my husband is going through the excrutiating process now, too, and I’m helping him study for certifications, honing his resume, helping him write cover letters, searching every job hunt related website on a daily basis, sending faxes, etc. It’s disheartening to see a “perfect” job, whose qualifications you meet down to the last letter, and they don’t even bother to pay the courtesy of a phone call or email to say “thanks, but no thanks,” and you have no idea why. Ugh. So seriously, I really hope something comes through for you soon! ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/202 "2002-08-03T00:34:17Z")
Hamadryad: > [@](#): > > \*\*This entire thread takes on an almost satirical feel when you don’t have an emotional investment. \*\* I’m with you there, sister. I would do something involving patio furniture. But, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/203 "2002-08-03T01:15:49Z")
Satyrical? More like surrealistic. I really wish the other mods and admins would chime in here. The longer this goes on, the uglier it gets. At the end of the day, the SDMB really is a group effort. The mods and admins are the leaders of the group, but they need to address the concerns that have been expressed here by so many productive members whose good will is beyond dispute. **Lib** , I recognize your loyalty and I’m sure **Tuba** appreciates it. But I think you’ve made your point and perhaps you’re getting a bit too wound up here. The “Injun” comment gives off the smell of severe overheating which may signal an incipient meltdown. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/204 "2002-08-03T01:44:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shayna \* > \*\*Ok, knowing that you’re more than just a friend to me, but a sister, I hope you’ll take no offense when I take you up on your offer to correct you here? \*\* No problem, hon. I concede that the comment was, indeed on the snotty side. And I am sure she wishes she hadn’t made it. I just think that she should be allowed to be human, and to be human means you speak out of turn occasionally. Otherwise I stand by my post. I sat here and read the whole thing from start to finish and part of what I got from it was as much from the “feeling” of the whole thing as much as from what was actually said. Which may not be the proper way to assess this thread, but that’s the way it worked for me. I am sure that soon some sort of “official ruling” will be posted as to what is and what is not acceptable, and yes…I agree that it would be a great deal of help to everyone to HAVE an official ruling. Love you, darling! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/205 "2002-08-03T01:55:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > > A great deal of us have expressed a concern at rules that we didn’t know existed. That is bullshit. Just because the mods/administrators have looked the other way, many , many times, the rules have been around since day one. remember when you first accepted the rules when you registered ? Try > [@](#): > > _from Registration Contract_ > > You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use the SDMB to post any material that is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, **vulgar** , hateful, harassing, **obscene, profane** , threatening, invasive of a person’s privacy, or otherwise violative of any law. Well did **Scylla** abide by the contract or didn’t he? I bolded the criteria which could apply to **Scylla’s** post. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/206 "2002-08-03T02:05:31Z")
> [@](#): > > **Truth Seeker:** Satyrical? That’d describe **Scylla** ’s OP pretty well. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/207 "2002-08-03T02:12:32Z")
grienspace, the point is … why is Scylla’s thread closed and “The Nose During Cunnilingus” at last check, was open? Why wasn’t “Life, suck the smegma from my dripping foreskin” closed? How about the “What is bad sex” thread, where Mermaid basically launches into a Penthouse letter. There is SOME imaginary line somewhere that I’m still not sure of, and I would like to have that clarified. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/208 "2002-08-03T02:14:15Z")
Fine, **Grieny** , but if that’s the case, then why did other, similar **Scylla** threads make Threadspotting (especially given that it takes either Lynn or Tuba to put up a Threadpotting link, regardless of who nominates it)? Evidently it was not, by Lynn or Tuba’s standards “vulgar or obscene” or they wouldn’t have been advertising it. Don’t you think that **Scylla** had a right to expect that other efforts, milder than the ones that made Threadspotting, would continue to be welcomed, since his earlier efforts made the _front page of the Straight Dope Home Page?_ Not the front of the SDMB. Cecil’s very own homepage: [www.straightdope.com](http://www.straightdope.com). Obviously they thought his Goatsex and Ewe Sluts (IIRC) posts were not only good, they were _assets_ that would attract more people to read Cecil’s words and lure them onto the SDMB. And, **Grieny** , turning this into an anti- **Scylla** hijack? Bad form. Fenris, far, FAR too modest to note who’s CURRENTLY featured in url="[http://www.straightdope.com](http://www.straightdope.com)]Threadspotting. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/209 "2002-08-03T02:15:59Z")
Yes folks, that’s Threadspotting! Now at a url near YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/210 "2002-08-03T02:52:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by grienspace \* > > > [@](#): > > > > You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use the SDMB to post any material that is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, **vulgar** , hateful, harassing, **obscene, profane,** threatening, invasive of a person’s privacy, or otherwise violative of any law. > > Well did **Scylla** abide by the contract or didn’t he? > I bolded the criteria which could apply to **Scylla’s** post. I don’t know about anyone else, but I think it’d be quite a stretch to find **Scylla** ’s post vulgar, obscene or profane. I can find more vulgar, obscene and/or profane material on prime-time network TV. Or an Adam Sandler movie–my sister owns one, hang on, let me check…PG-13. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/211 "2002-08-03T03:27:37Z")
First, let me say that the mods and administrators here do a great job at what is essentially a thankless and difficult task. I think Tuba, in, particular has been very fair overall in the past. No matter how clearly the rules for posting are stated there will always be a gray area requiring judgement calls. Therefore, I can’t quibble with the closing of the thread. While I, personally, saw no problem with it, there were obviously some complaints and a valid excuse for closing it. That said, I am still disheartened by the potshot taken by Tuba in closing it. I know she is human, I empathize with her desire to make a good impression on others, and even though I think her job search and potential employers’ reactions should be irrelevant to her work here, I understand her frustration. I just wish there could have been an acknowledgment that perhaps she went too far. I, myself, would be satisfied with a simple apology for her tone or an statement that perhaps the thread would have been better closed with a brief line such as “There have been some complaints about the content here so I am closing this thread”. Now let me put in a plea for her NOT to leave. Tuba, hon, you are an important part of this board, we LIKE you here and hope you stay around even if and when you move on to bigger and better thing. Bunny ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/212 "2002-08-03T03:28:11Z")
Scylla’s text in _italics_, my notes in **bold**. _I think my testicles_ **Medical term** _are going to explode_ **Hyperbole; non-graphic.** \*We’ve been trying to have another baby for about a year with no luck. So, even though I did one over two years ago\* **Statement of problem many people have. No graphic details** _(some of you will remember the Sperm Count of Doom,) it’s time for me once again to pick up the ole cup and rub one out for the team._ **Humorous description, but without details.** _That however doesn’t happen until Friday._ **Neutral.** _Until then I’m supposed to retain my precious bodily fluids._ **Euphemism that was used by sex-ed teachers in the fifties.** _The problem is, that all through my marriage my wife has been like my right hand. And, when she’s not around, my right hand has been my wife._ **VERY oblique reference to masturbation.** \*I’m pretty much a six orgasm a week sort of guy, and have been since I was sixteen. If I deny myself, I get kinda ornery, if you know what I mean.\* **Admission that he’s a normal male, again, without details.** _I’m sitting here at the desk in my office wearing my light summerweight pants, and now I can’t get up!_ **Oblique reference to an erection. Emphasis on clothing, not anatomy.** _I guess there’s something to be said about Maria Bartiroma opening the market. Damn those CNBC chicks are hot!_ **Appreciation for an attractive female public figure. MPSIMS and Cafe Society are crawling with such remarks.** _I’m sitting here with a diamond cutter._ **Well, I don’t know what that means.** _The last sperm count I was “low normal,” but I have an excuse, as I had an emmission the night before._ **Medical terms. No mention of circumstances leading to the “emission”.** _Nevertheless, I can’t allow such an insult to my manhood be repeated, so I’m following directions and saving it all up._ **Neutral.** _I wonder if that sample glass will be big enough._ **Hyperbole; non-graphic.** \*I feel myself becoming mean, aggressive, and confrontational. I know it all, and nobody can tell me anything, and anybody that gets in my way better watch out! All the mellowing out that’s happened with me in the last 15 years is being swept back like a sand castle before the tide, and I’m reverting to a primitive testosterone based life-form. I feel 18 again! At this rate I’ll be 12 by the time Friday’s Lunch time comes around (so to speak.)\* **Sharing of mental/emotional condition; no details about physical condition, except for the word “testosterone”, which is another medical term.** _Stay away from me. I’m going sperm mad!_ **Humorous pairing of medical and psychological terms.** IMohsoHO, nothing vulgar, profane or obscene. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/213 "2002-08-03T03:28:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Synnove \* > \*\*Personally I think the mods here do a fantastic job. There’s so many posters and only so much time in a day, after all. I don’t think one disfavourable episode out of probably 10,000 moderator actions really means **TubaDiva** is an incompetent moderator. She’s obviously good if she’s been able to put up with her duties and the massive time investments for such a long time. I don’t think anyone here is even saying that this episode makes her a “bad moderator”. All I’d like to see, personally, is a specific guideline the moderators wish us to follow, and the reassurance that moderator decisions are not going to be consistently based upon personal issues we have no way of knowing about nor understanding. > \*\* Actually I think that that might be part of the problem. Another forum I go to has what I think is best moderaterating I have ever seen. And yet when I go there I am always amazed at the huge turnover of moderators there. They make one mistake and they are gone(deadminned, banned, or resigned). Moderating should be strict because Mods like normal posters are going to have waxing and waning interest in the SDMB and it is better to keep it in the hands of those interested over simply keeping the same people. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/214 "2002-08-03T03:43:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \* > \*\*_I’m sitting here with a diamond cutter._ **Well, I don’t know what that means.** > > \*\* It’s another reference to his erection, particularly its hardness. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/215 "2002-08-03T04:16:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > [And, **Grieny** , turning this into an anti- **Scylla** hijack? Bad form. after 5 pages of **Scylla** support, you don’t have to worry about **Scylla**. But the number of times I’ve taken on an OP challenging a SDMB official is now 1, while the number of times you’ve dogpiled on newbie’s challenging a mod is more than the hair on your nads. Bad form ? ??? …Hypocricy!!! ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/216 "2002-08-03T04:19:45Z")
While we’re at it, I would invite the person/persons that complained to make themselves known. To me, while all of the points being made about the randomness of the act are very important and valid, what is getting lost here is that some person or persons pushed something ugly in to being. To me, complaining to a mod over these two posts which are very much acceptable within the culture of the board, as we all know it, is a bizarre act. I would really like the chance to engage these folks in some sort of debate (that is, after all, one of the reasons that we are all here). Therefore, I formally invite that person or persons to fess up and show the respect to the rest of us who are incredulous here and de-lurk. What is it about these two treads which, if you read other threads in the same forum, are comparatively mild that caused you to complain? Was it just these threads, or do you tend to complain about others? Are you trying to clean this place up? If so, why? And what do you suppose qualifies you to do this? I promise no flaming on my part. I really wish only to find out why this has happened. ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/217 "2002-08-03T04:31:06Z")
**Rilchiam** hit the nail on the head. How much more PG could **Scylla’s** post have been? If, like me, he had “no governor” on his brain, he would have said: “Dude! I am **SO** fucking **HORNY!** I’m not allowed to **get my rocks off** until Friday, when I’m supposed to **beat off** into a cup! I’m not allowed to **spank the monkey** or even **fuck my wife** until then! I’m so goddamn **horny** even the stupid **anchor bitches** on TV are looking hot, and I’m sitting here with a fucking **ERECTION** the size of Rhode Island! **Damn!** When I finally get to **bust a nut** I’m going to come a **gallon and a half!** And that’s a lot of fucking **jizz** , dude!” ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/218 "2002-08-03T10:01:11Z")
Needless to say, if this thread stays open after **Bob Scene’s** post just above, even I am going to be confused. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/219 "2002-08-03T10:28:53Z")
On some levels, I’m with Dijon… c’mon, Bob, there’s a level of decency above the blatantly obscene (I know, I know, your User Name is “Bob Scene”… haha, I’m muchly amused). However… if the admins - or just Tubadiva herself - want us to try to raise the level of conduct, here, I’m ready to go along with it. And this is coming from one of the most outstanding players in the infamous TMI thread. 'Course, I think Tuba should’ve chosen a more “administrative” method of voicing this desire of hers - such as an announcement to the entire board - rather than just telling Scylla (I love you, man, even if I’m funnier than you!) that she was trying to raise the board’s standard of behavior. But that’s in the past… now that we have the message, it’s a simple matter of following it. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2002, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736/220 "2002-08-03T10:30:17Z")
Oh, and note… sorry, Bob, if I came off as a bit insulting in that first paragraph. I do seriously think your user name is amusing, and I meant no offense with my remarks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-and-chastened-by-tubadiva/121736.md?page=12)