# Confused at response... \[to comment about keeping a sick person in one's prayers\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 24, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975 "2012-05-24T17:50:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975/61 "2012-05-25T19:38:58Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Yes, because it’s actually a fairly common word in religion threads and you always spell it as if there’s a prosthetic somewhere. I also remember the people who can’t spell “aren’t” and can’t open/close parentheses, if that makes you feel better. I think it behooves someone who cares that much about typos not to commit any. But I suspect going on about it is going to kill the thread. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975/62 "2012-05-26T00:16:36Z")
If your prayers are effective, whether you announce them or not, then why announce them and risk offending? Do tell. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975/63 "2012-05-26T04:46:55Z")
> [@Makeitstop](#): > > And I don’t think that saying “my prayers are with you” is “talking about it all the time”. But my reflexive saying is to say that, because being a Christian is a big part of who I am. Suppose trying to prove the moon landing is a hoax is a big part of who I am. In that case, would you think “I’ll be thinking of you while I’m exposing the moon landing hoax” is just as comforting (or more so) than “I’ll be thinking of you”? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2012, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975/64 "2012-05-26T06:36:57Z")
The other day I sneezed and someone said, “God bless you”. I think it’s a silly and pointless custom, and find it to be a (minor) breach of decorum in public places. I wish people wouldn’t say “God bless you” at my sneezes, but I shrugged it off with a half-hearted thank you, because said someone meant well and making a scene would have been dickish. That’s just a matter of being civil in the face of a minor transgression. If my father were dying, I would be an absolute wreck, and would be in no mood to put up with your bullshit. It’s one of the worst days of my life, and I’m trying to work through some things. I don’t need you intruding into my grief with platitudes that I evaluated and rejected as useless years if not decades ago. I will snap at you if you cross the same line that I forgive people for crossing any other day. I don’t have the patience to once again rehash why offering prayers is worse than saying, “Dude, that sucks.” That said, bringing someone food during such a time is truly welcome. Even if they snap at you over other things, rest assured that they appreciate the food. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975/65 "2012-05-27T07:17:04Z")
> [@](#): > > **elbows** : Now you get them, on their worst day, and want to offer a prayer. I can understand blowing up in such circumstances. So why is it, a Chrisitian cannot? Who said that Christians cannot understand when someone blows up in such circumstances? Some can; some cannot. > [@](#): > > **jsgoddess** : When you insist on putting your views out there, be prepared for someone to think you’re a dick for making it all about you when they are grieving. The irony of your user name is outstanding. When I put my “views out there,” on _any_ subject, I am usually prepared for someone to think I’m a dick. That’s true whether there is a grieving person present or not. The grief makes it more understandable. Giving your viewpoint is not always “making it all about you.” If that were true, people who give their viewpoints in Great Debates would be trying to make GD all about themselves. Emotionally intelligent people can usually handle hearing another’s viewpoint. And they would usually understand if someone who is grieving is a little touchy. The intention of the person speaking is important, but we can’t always have insight into what those intentions are. Assuming the worst seems a little hostile. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975/66 "2012-05-27T07:20:53Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > The irony of your user name is outstanding. Oookay. ---
**Author:** ![staili](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c57346/32.png) [@staili](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/staili)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975/67 "2012-06-02T03:17:30Z")
The father is 50, so the son can’t be that old and may not have a lot of experience with death. And it’s his father who’s dying. At age 50. I wouldn’t read a whole lot into any apparent overreaction the son seems to be exhibiting right now. It would be nice if the son were handling the situation differently, but I wouldn’t take any lashing out or anger personally. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2012, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975/68 "2012-06-02T08:05:30Z")
OP … the son overreacted. He sounds like a dickhead, frankly – BUT considering he’s losing a parent, I’d give him a pass. If it were a different, non-imminent-death situation and that was his reaction … I’d be more likely to think he was just a dick. Grief makes people nuts, though. Don’t take it personally. I don’t get people sometimes. I’m a Christian (and yes, one of those types who believe it’s the only way, none of this many-paths-to-God stuff). If I’m sick and a Hindu says they’ll pray for me, how could I possibly receive that as anything but good will? They’re not saying they want me to convert, they’re saying they hope I get better and will ask the god they believe in to heal me. It doesn’t matter that I don’t happen to believe in their god … it’s the thought that counts, dammit! Someone taking time out of their day to pray for me is a GOOD THING regardless of who they’re praying to and regardless of whether or not I think their prayers will be effective. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confused-at-response-to-comment-about-keeping-a-sick-person-in-ones-prayers/622975.md?page=3)