# Confusing product names **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** commercials-ads\ **Created:** [April 18, 2024, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472 "2024-04-18T19:59:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/41 "2024-04-19T14:44:50Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > That one was explained in one of my books. It does taste nutty. The inventor thought it contained glucose also known as ‘grape sugar’. Grape Nuts it is then. How did that joke go? Something about Euell Gibbons and blue balls? ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/42 "2024-04-19T14:47:25Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Only with long-aged dried out pig legs! For a second I read that as ‘long pig legs’ 😱 🤮 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/43 "2024-04-19T14:48:57Z")
I’d quote from my copy of To Serve Man- but it’s still packed away. I bet Man Ears Seabright would go well on pizza. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/44 "2024-04-19T16:37:04Z")
Hellman Mayonnaise wasn’t invented by Hellboy after he grew up. I noticed Mt. Olive pickles in the store, now I want Mt. Pickle olives. Although Land cameras can be used on land they were actually named after it’s inventor. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/45 "2024-04-19T23:47:38Z")
Despite its name, masking tape should not be used for masking off portions of walls for painting. I learned that one the hard way. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/46 "2024-04-20T00:18:18Z")
There’s [Just Egg](https://www.ju.st/), which contains many things that are not egg, but does not contain any egg. A lot of its branding seems to be intentionally confusing. Sticking with the theme of “plant-based” products, I found myself confused a while back by one: I was looking for a veggie meat replacement of some kind on my grocery app and searched for “beyond meat” because that’s a brand of fake meat. I skimmed over the usual stuff: Beyond burgers, Beyond sausage, frozen meals with Beyond teriyaki chicken or whatever, and then saw it: Beyond wild Alaskan salmon. Ooooooh. I was pretty excited for a moment. There are a couple veggie fish replacements and they’re not terrible, but I’d love to have an actual good one. And wild Alaskan salmon? I mean, weirdly specific, but sounds promising! Then, I looked closer and realized… it wasn’t a plant-based salmon substitute from a brand known for doing pretty good fake meat after all. It was cat food. Purina Beyond. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/47 "2024-04-20T00:55:56Z")
> [@solost](#): > > More ‘produce’ than ‘product’, but a pineapple resembles neither a pine nor an apple. For a while [Europeans called almost every novel fruit some variation on ‘apple’](https://www.thefreedictionary.com/How-9-different-fruits-came-to-be-named-after-the-apple.htm), as that was the most common one they knew I guess - pineapple, custard apple, love apple (tomato), pomme de terre, alligator pear (avocado), etc. I have to admit "Chinese Apples” is new to me though! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/48 "2024-04-20T03:06:20Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Also it says its from Georgia so its _not_ northern! It was originally made by the Northern Paper Mills, in Green Bay, WI (my home town), so it _was_ “northern” originally. Georgia-Pacific bought Northern’s parent company in 2005. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/49 "2024-04-20T03:37:34Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Georgia-Pacific bought Northern’s parent company in 2005. And Georgia Pacific, of course, is owned by Wichita-based Koch Industries. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/50 "2024-04-20T04:16:30Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > Northwestern University isn’t in the Northwest. That part of the US, including Illinois, was called the Northwest Territory\* when it was being settled in the late 18th Century, especially before the Louisiana Purchase (which was immediately to its west). Something I learned in school a million years ago. \*Not to be confused with the Pacific Northwest. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/51 "2024-04-20T04:31:02Z")
An Apple Macintosh will do a piss-poor job of keeping you dry in a rainstorm, and could be a serious problem if you tried to use one that way whilst it was plugged in. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/52 "2024-04-20T04:42:05Z")
I looked for Apple Corporation products, but all they had were these Beatles records. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/53 "2024-04-20T05:06:25Z")
… whereas swallowing a Samsung tablet will _not_ improve your health by the tiniest whit. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/54 "2024-04-20T05:20:19Z")
That would be Georgia-Pacific. That must be one long west coast. (G-P is a company name) ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/55 "2024-04-20T07:33:07Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Hellman Mayonnaise wasn’t invented by Hellboy after he grew up. The other day, someone smacked me in the head with a jar of mayo. I said, “What the hellman?” ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/56 "2024-04-20T07:56:34Z")
Well, yellow mustard ain’t French. His accent is all wrong. As a matter of fact, Mr. French the butler on _Family Affair_ was English. And French fries ain’t French either. Or belong to some lady named Julienne. Who might be French. But who the heck knows? ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/57 "2024-04-20T08:59:14Z")
Kinder eggs are egg-shaped, but they contain no children. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/58 "2024-04-20T11:45:24Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Kinder eggs are egg-shaped, but they contain no children They also don’t show any more compassion than regular eggs. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/59 "2024-04-20T11:55:47Z")
Super Glue is not from the planet Krypton. Trix cereal contains no surprises. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2024, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472/60 "2024-04-20T12:20:42Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > A peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. It’s a legume. Well, it is related to peas (also a legume), and it is treated as a nut. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/confusing-product-names/1000472.md?page=4)