# Congratulations, Maatorc, on your century. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 4, 2008, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432 "2008-10-04T10:37:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/101 "2008-10-11T21:38:41Z")
> [@maatorc](#): > > There is an example in this thread of posters initiating or perpetuating lies to mislead or confuse others. My house was carved out of a single huge loaf of bread. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/102 "2008-10-11T21:44:18Z")
And bacon. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/103 "2008-10-11T21:49:09Z")
Mmmmmmmm… _pineal bacon._ ---
**Author:** ![maatorc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@maatorc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maatorc)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/104 "2008-10-12T01:09:55Z")
The answer to ALL of youse anxieties as to the existence and proof of the anatomical myth-work is on page 170, paragraph 8, of G. I. Gurdjieff’s little book published in 1991 by Viking Press. Y’all must just wait for one among you to find the information! Maybe none here is bright enough, notwithstanding you are the BIG LEAGUE of global knowledge and wisdom, says one among you. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/105 "2008-10-12T01:14:25Z")
Hell, I’m still wondering what that “porcupine troll” from post #32 is. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/106 "2008-10-12T01:16:40Z")
> [@maatorc](#): > > Maybe none here is bright enough Or cares enough. You’re not much of a salesman. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/107 "2008-10-12T01:18:27Z")
No no no. You’re doing it all wrong Hunter. It goes something like: "Being an Ascended Master in possession of Secret Cosmic Knowledge, I know something about the porcupine troll. None of you do, because you’re cowards and stupid. I wil not tell you anything about the porcupine troll, because I am too Ascended for you. But if you look at post 32 of a certain thread that is on the SDMB, you will become Enlightened. P.S. Does anybody out there think I’m edgy and wise enough to throw me a pity lay? Surely I’m impressing someone with my mad phat occult skillzorz. Please? " ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/108 "2008-10-12T03:00:10Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Good lord troll, how fucking stupid are you? He’s not so much stupid as he is not lucid – he’s just stumbling along in his own dream of reality, trying to manipulate his world in space time by manipulating people on the intrawebs. Unfortunately, he is having difficulty accomplishing a lucid dream state, for his pineal gland’s production of melatonin has not stabilized. The poor bastard is unable to truly awaken in the physical world – his limited awareness and experience of occult anatomy is limiting his degree of wakefulness, so he is unable to actualize his second body’s chakras that stand behind his physical body’s endoctine system. The bottom line is that that unlike the rest of us Dopers, the troll has not yet attained the ability to lucidly move in astral realm, so he is not yet able to control how his actions affect the rest of the universe. Here’s to hoping that he eventually attains the degree of enlightenment that the SDMB has already brought to the rest of us in Homer’s Monkey Butler thread, and has been brought to people outside the SDMB by yogic flying. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/109 "2008-10-12T03:06:20Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Unfortunately, he is having difficulty accomplishing a lucid dream state, for his pineal gland’s production of melatonin has not stabilized. Lies. Lies! We’ve already established that the pineal gland produces bacon. Or is made of bacon. I’m not sure, but I do like bacon. And the point is, you’re not enlightened enough to appreciate bacon. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/110 "2008-10-12T03:11:39Z")
> [@maatorc](#): > > Maybe none here is bright enough, notwithstanding you are the BIG LEAGUE of global knowledge and wisdom, says one among you. Enough’s enough. If this trolling continues, your posting privileges may be revoked. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/111 "2008-10-12T03:17:12Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Lies. Lies! > We’ve already established that the pineal gland produces bacon. Or is made of bacon. I’m not sure, but I do like bacon. > And the point is, you’re not enlightened enough to appreciate bacon. Bacon is the unifier between the physical universe and the astral universe. BACON IS THE _ **ONE** _ that all enlightened people seek. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/112 "2008-10-12T03:18:22Z")
Nuh unh Muffin. That’s Shakespeare. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/113 "2008-10-12T03:18:38Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Bacon is the unifier between the physical universe and the astral universe. BACON IS THE _ **ONE** _ that all enlightened people seek. Can I substitute Bacon Salt? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/114 "2008-10-12T03:21:39Z")
Heretic. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/115 "2008-10-12T03:33:48Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Nuh unh Muffin. That’s Shakespeare. From \*[The Secret Teachings of All Ages\*: “Bacon, Shakspere, and the Rosicrucians”](http://www.phoenixmasonry.org/secret_teachings_of_all_ages/bacon_shakspere_and_the_roscrucians.htm), p. 165, by Manly P. Hall: > [@](#): > > THE present consideration of the Bacon–Shakspere–Rosicrucian controversy is undertaken not for the vain purpose of digging up dead men’s bones but rather in the hope that a critical analysis will aid in the rediscovery of that knowledge lost to the world since the oracles were silenced. It was W. F. C. Wigston who called the Bard of Avon “phantom Captain Shakespeare, the Rosicrucian mask.” This constitutes one of the most significant statements relating to the Bacon-Shakspere controversy. > > . . . . > > The philosophic ideals promulgated throughout the Shakespearian plays distinctly demonstrate their author to have been thoroughly familiar with certain doctrines and tenets peculiar to Rosicrucianism; in fact the profundity of the Shakespearian productions stamps their creator as one of the illuminati of the ages. Most of those seeking a solution for the Bacon-Shakspere controversy have been intellectualists. Notwithstanding their scholarly attainments, they have overlooked the important part played by transcendentalism in the philosophic achievements of the ages. The mysteries of superphysics are inexplicable to the materialist, whose training does not equip him to estimate the extent of their ramifications and complexities. Yet who but a Platonist, a Qabbalist, or a Pythagorean could have written The Tempest, Macbeth, Hamlet, or The Tragedy of Cymbeline? Who but one deeply versed in Paracelsian lore could have conceived, A Midsummer Night’s Dream? What it all really comes down to (Life, the Universe, and Everything) is Bacon. The only thing we Dopers have yet to sort out, before being swept up into cosmic oneness, is the answer to the sole remaining question: Canadian Bacon or American Bacon? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/116 "2008-10-12T03:37:55Z")
> [@SiXSwordS](#): > > If you have accusations to make, just spit them out, toad. Of course, I doubt you could say shit if you had a mouthful of it. That there’s a thing of beauty. [sup]::wipes one immaculate tear from corner of eye::[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/117 "2008-10-12T03:39:49Z")
Well played! Edit: errr, that was for Muffin. And, while I’m at it, have signatures been set to auto-on? Blargh. Can you uncheck a box somewhere or something and get rid of them? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/118 "2008-10-12T03:55:07Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Enough’s enough. If this trolling continues, your posting privileges may be revoked. Don’t [del]feed[/del] ban the troll! He’s funny! ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/119 "2008-10-12T03:56:54Z")
In roughly the same way that someone who craps their pants in an effort to embarrass the people around them, is funny. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432/120 "2008-10-12T04:14:01Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > In roughly the same way that someone who craps their pants in an effort to embarrass the people around them, is funny. That would be [United States Patent 5500225](http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PALL&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.htm&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=5500225.PN.&OS=PN/5500225&RS=PN/5500225), which focuses on the use of diapers to study Pineal output. Unfortunately, the troll has it somewhat confused, so he sits there shitting himself for the better good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-maatorc-on-your-century/466432.md?page=7)