# Congratulations Sapphire Bullet **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 30, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807 "2000-12-30T17:59:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/461 "2001-01-06T05:22:08Z")
:: After having successfully completed a night course in sensual massage (taught my the Master himself - thinksnow), DW lays Arden down and straddles her, giving her a massage that makes her damn near pass out from shear bliss. Meanwhile, Mauvaise… :: [sup]Hey Kids! Keep those cards and letters coming! We welcome your suggestions![/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/462 "2001-01-06T05:32:33Z")
::Meanwhile Mauvaise feeds Arden chocolate covered strawberries while reading aloud from a selection of erotica.:: ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/463 "2001-01-06T06:24:37Z")
_meanwhile, Nocturne finds a bass guitar and starts playing 70’s-style-funkadelic-porno-music_ ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/464 "2001-01-06T06:46:38Z")
:: DW tries to keep himself from cracking up at Nocturne’s comment, so he just shucks and jives to the music :: ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/465 "2001-01-06T06:59:22Z")
_grooves to DW’s groovin’_ Hey sweets, why don’t we groove on over to the bed and get our groove on? ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/466 "2001-01-06T07:44:09Z")
Surprise! **DW** , you have learned well. I see **Arden** has assumed the “puddle” state, which, of course, follows a good massage. Can I be of any assistance? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/467 "2001-01-06T14:50:12Z")
:: makes feeble attempt at lifting head :: :: Gives up and just waves her fingers :: ::purrrr:: ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/468 "2001-01-06T20:15:46Z")
::wanders in and looks for someone to play with:: ---
**Author:** ![AngelD112](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@AngelD112](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelD112)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/469 "2001-01-06T21:13:32Z")
:: looks in on Punha sitting all by himself :: Punha, would you like to play with me? :: Sprays Whipped Cream on him :: ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/470 "2001-01-06T21:33:13Z")
Just to remind you, the jello pit _is_ open. 😃 [sub]though weekend rates apply[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/471 "2001-01-06T22:28:36Z")
thinksnow, this Jello Pit gets me so geeked up that _you’re_ starting to look good, you stud. :: DW smacks himself in the head :: Brrrrrr! I’d better hop back on Arden and finish that massage, and after that, I think Mauvaise could use a little tension-bustin’. You have taught me well, oh Master Snow. [sup]um, is this the part where I try to snatch the pebble from your hand?[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/472 "2001-01-06T22:43:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AngelD112 \* > \*\*:: looks in on Punha sitting all by himself :: > Punha, would you like to play with me? > :: Sprays Whipped Cream on him :: > \*\* That sounds like a plan, my dear Angel. ::sprays a bit on her and starts to slowly lick it off with his eyes closed:: ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/473 "2001-01-06T22:45:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dire Wolf \* > \*\*[sup]um, is this the part where I try to snatch the pebble from your hand?[/sup] \*\* Just make sure that really _is_ a pebble he’s got in his hand 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/474 "2001-01-06T22:53:52Z")
Mauvaise, you being a redhead and all, and the only woman near this thread, want to go see what that is over there? ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/475 "2001-01-06T22:58:06Z")
Yeah, Mauv, my eyes ain’t what they used to be. Would you go check for me? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/476 "2001-01-06T23:03:24Z")
OOOhhh, DW, may I? What a generous husband you are. :: leers at thinksnow :: Lemme see that “pebble” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/477 "2001-01-06T23:06:54Z")
Geez…where’s Arden Ranger when you need her. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/478 "2001-01-06T23:07:45Z")
She hasn’t posted since this morning. Mauvaise . . . ? ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/479 "2001-01-06T23:16:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*She hasn’t posted since this morning. > > Mauvaise . . . ? \*\* Yes, dear? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807/480 "2001-01-06T23:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mauvaise \* > \*\*Yes, dear? \*\* ::brings in jello pit:: Want to see how squishy the jello is? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-sapphire-bullet/47807.md?page=25)