# Congratulations! You've been promoted to network president. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 13, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843 "2013-11-13T18:17:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/1 "2013-11-13T18:17:06Z")
Due to your dedication, you’ve been promoted to network executive in charge of programming. You now have the largest corner office, a secretary, a key to the executive restroom, and a salary that would make Donald Trump jealous, and of course, an expense account. As your first official act, you pull the plug on a currently running show. A show you feel is a total waste of production time and assets. Which show do you chop, and why? My first act would be to send _Honey Boo boo_ back to the south 40. That show puts the “s” in stupid IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/2 "2013-11-13T18:26:51Z")
Cancelling your biggest hit is not the best way to keep your job. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/3 "2013-11-13T18:29:55Z")
[Game of Thrones](http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/4570968/cartman-licks-tears-o.gif). I would giggle myself to sleep every night as the chorus of wailing echoed through the city. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/4 "2013-11-13T18:43:10Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Cancelling your biggest hit is not the best way to keep your job. Eisenhower was surprise to learn that half the people in America had an IQ below 100. I suspect it will be more than half if that show is allowed to continue. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/5 "2013-11-13T19:16:53Z")
**Dance Moms** , reality tv people deserve each other, but involving children in your grotesque display of humanity scars them, no matter how often you tell them it isn’t real off camera. It’s the Child Abuse Show and it needs to go. The fans will just have to settle for Honey Boo Boo, where only one child is being exploited and destroyed. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/6 "2013-11-13T19:23:59Z")
If I’m the executive, I want more power than killing a single show. My first move is that TLC be repurposed to show random YouTube videos 24x7. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/7 "2013-11-13T21:24:17Z")
I would dump all reality shows and replace them with The Hot Women in Microkinis Dancing To Various Kinds of Music (Rock, pop, hiphop, jazz, rap, etc.) With A Streaming Twitter and News and Sports Feed Running Underneath shows and watch the viewers and the bucks roll in. I mean, I don’t watch TV at all right now, except for news shows, and frankly, the visuals on news shows are rarely worth even glancing at. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/8 "2013-11-13T23:31:15Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > I would dump all reality shows and replace them with The Hot Women in Microkinis Dancing To Various Kinds of Music (Rock, pop, hiphop, jazz, rap, etc.) With A Streaming Twitter and News and Sports Feed Running Underneath shows and watch the viewers and the bucks roll in. I mean, I don’t watch TV at all right now, except for news shows, and frankly, the visuals on news shows are rarely worth even glancing at. This is terrifyingly prescient. I think it’s a very small amount of time we have to wait until every show has a twitter feed running live underneath it, regardless of genre or content. It will be the last gasp effort of networks to combat DVRs, online viewing and other efforts to thwart real-time viewing that eliminate the potency of commercials. ---
**Author:** ![Musky\_Moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90db22/32.png) [@Musky\_Moon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musky_Moon)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/9 "2013-11-13T23:35:05Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > If I’m the executive, I want more power than killing a single show. My first move is that TLC be repurposed to show random YouTube videos 24x7. I actually think dracoi has something here. A little off topic, but YouTube could probably get itself a cable channel that just showed the hottest clips of the day and make bucketloads. I mean, I don’t tool around YouTube very much, but I’ll check out something if someone mentions it on this site or at work…why not have a channel that features the trending videos for easy consumption. (Though part of me hates the idea of it, since we’ve increasingly become accustomed to having our culture cut up for us in little bite-sized pieces.) ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/10 "2013-11-14T02:37:06Z")
Eh, Tosh.0 does ok with web clips but I know other attempts (Online Nation and Smash Cuts) were pretty miserable failures. The problem is that conventional networks cannot keep themselves from attempting to control the virality. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/11 "2013-11-14T03:26:39Z")
Goodbye, _Big Bang Theory_. Because, unlike _2 & 1/2 Men_ or _Dads_ or _2 Broke Girls_, which are merely hacky pieces of shit, BBT is a hacky PoS that had the potential, given the premise, to have been intelligent. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/12 "2013-11-14T05:09:41Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Eh, Tosh.0 does ok with web clips but I know other attempts (Online Nation and Smash Cuts) were pretty miserable failures. The problem is that conventional networks cannot keep themselves from attempting to control the virality. What do you mean, “control the virality?” I’m not saying they don’t do it, just not sure of what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/13 "2013-11-14T07:10:04Z")
Please, may I call dibs on the History Channel? I would dearly love to axe at least 90% of their current lineup, but especially Ancient Aliens. Stupid, stupid, stupid show makes me use the word “bullshit” a lot if I happen to flip past it. And then the toddlers pick up that word. And then my mother-in-law asks why the babies are using that word, and I start foaming at the mouth while trying to explain my anger at this utter bullshit masquerading as history/infotainment, and my poor husband has to take his mom aside and try to reassure her that I’m mostly not crazy. Mostly. Admittedly, there are many, many popular television shows that are far worse, but most of them only claim to be entertainment, and I’m certainly not the arbiter of what you find entertaining. But if you’re pretending to be an educational series, viewers shouldn’t actually become more ignorant while watching! ---
**Author:** ![JuliaSqueezer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/82dd89/32.png) [@JuliaSqueezer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JuliaSqueezer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/14 "2013-11-14T13:40:50Z")
I get BBC America! That way I can just leave things as they are and go take a nap. It must be a winning strategy because it’s remained unchanged for years. Just show endless repeats of anything with the word “Ramsay” in it, Star Trek, Torchwood, Dr Who and Top Gear. Throw in BBC News at 7, then long, boring old American movies on the weekends and bang: Bob’s yer uncle, job done. Why this channel is even in most US cable packages is beyond a mystery. Is it a space-holder until something worthwhile comes along? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/15 "2013-11-14T14:44:37Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > What do you mean, “control the virality?” I’m not saying they don’t do it, just not sure of what it is. When an internet clip gets popular really quickly, it’s said to go viral. ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/16 "2013-11-14T14:49:58Z")
My network would probably look like the TV station in Weird Al Yankovic’s movie “UHF”. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/17 "2013-11-14T15:25:58Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > When an internet clip gets popular really quickly, it’s said to go viral. I know that. But how exactly can they “control the virality” of the videos? If it were possible, believe me, it would be happening right now, every marketer on the Internet would LOVE to “control the virality” of videos. It’s like those idiots who say that the particular book they are selling will be 'the next Fifty Shades of Grey." Why is it a bad thing that they would want to? Would it affect the channel, or youtube videos, negatively? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congratulations-youve-been-promoted-to-network-president/673843/18 "2013-11-14T16:02:23Z")
Say goodbye to Monday Night Football.