The OP said you get eternal damnation if you die, so dying is off the table for me. I’ll have to make immortality work. There is no ending your misery. If a priest could exorcise me, then that’s different. I probably wouldn’t take that option for a few hundred years though. Lots of people out there needs some blood sucking and the compounding interest on my bank accounts is going to make life sweet 'til I get really bored.
Wait.
So, according to the OP, I’m Edward “Cedric Diggory” Cullen?
I get on a plane to London, break into Madame Tussaud’s, find the Chamber of Horrors, make sure the guillotine still works, rig it so it it can be operated from the “focus of attention” bench, and hop aboard.
Next stop, eternal damnation, I guess. Can’t be any worse than walking through the world as RPat.
You might want to take another look at the numbers, the Kurt Barlow vamps are stomping the un-life out of the twilight emo vamps.
You mean, as one of the Devil’s undead, I have to start a theist movement? I don’t see that working out too well. I gotta go lie down; where’s my Big Box o’ Dirt?
You can control anyone’s mind to let you stash your BBoD anywhere. Or, if you’re not that controlling, you sleep in your grave (in your BBoD) and if the Feds start closing in, you high-tail it with said coffin. If Max Schreck can do it, so can you.
And Kurt Barlow vamps don’t use caskets; they just lay under the double-wide until almanac sundown.
<snip>
It’s just something parents made up to scare children, like the Boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
I donm’t see where drinking human blood is a problem The Masai in Kenya survive almost entirely on the blood and milk of their cattle, which are perfectly content with the arrangement. Human blood donors can carry on for a full life, without a hitch. Let them sit around and eat snacks and watch telenovellas, contribute a pint of blood every once in a while, and if I play it right, even get good sex from my blood-harem.
Huh.
::: Makes list of potential human victims like drug dealers, pimps, baby-rapers, etc. :::
I’ll munch on people that society would be better off without, find some vampire fetish people for snacking, purchase some domestic critters for eating, or go after wild animals/vermin as appropriate and practical. That’s actually pretty decent flexibility and I’ll still be able to go to dinner parties and eat human food to maintain a cover identity if needed.
What’s not to like?
Never cared much for sunning myself anyhow. The whole “vigilantes out to kill you” sucks but maybe I can keep a low profile.
Let’s be fair - any of those methods will kill living people, too. The eternal damnation thing sucks, too - is that a certain thing or just assumed? If I’m a “good” vampire can I escape damnation?
Find either a night job (hey, I’ve already worked nights) or something I can do from home. Make some very long term investment plans. Study how to assume a new identity (I expect that will eventually be necessary). If I’m eating scummy criminal types maybe I can rob them for a living, or as a supplement to my [del]day[/del] night job.
Eventually I’d like to move out to a fairly remote site as a base but close enough to a large city that I can easily go hunting there, where a few more corpses won’t be very noticable. And, as I said, there are animals and fetish types to tide me over in between such trips.
If I can establish the right sort of relationship with a human(s) it could become a mutually supportive/symbiotic situation.
Emphatically not Edward Cullen, actually.
The Twi-vamps aren’t really vampires anyway, just LDS exalted men.
Even if you chose to live off animal blood, that would be pretty much the only thing you’d have in common with Mr Cullen.
Note: if you choose to sleep in a coffin, that’s your preference. No reason you can’t sleep in a bed if you want to. Just make sure you’ve got some good heavy blackout curtains, or a basement apartment (or, I guess, a nice castle).
Ugh. Like I would drink sour milk now?
Hey, we don’t know that for certain. Maybe he could save up, produce a movie, and hire her…