# Congressional Walrus Penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [June 22, 2007, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064 "2007-06-22T23:36:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/21 "2007-06-23T08:49:59Z")
Don’t bother, it gets zero results. Damn! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/22 "2007-06-23T13:47:00Z")
[QUOTE=scotandrsn] I have a strong desire to google the phrase “horny female walruses”… …immediately replaced by a stong desire NOT to Google said phrase. Probably end up with “AdultWalrusFinderDotCom”, “Find Horny Female Walruses in Your Area!” [/QUOTE] You’d have more luck with the phrase “horny manatee”. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/23 "2007-06-23T15:08:18Z")
" ‘The time has come,’ the Walrus said, ‘To get out of this funk: to speak of more important things— Like pinhead senators waving around my junk— …’" With heartfelt apologies to Lewis Carroll. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/24 "2007-06-23T15:54:14Z")
Oosiks also make handy clubs. That’s why mine is displayed in a bookcase near the front door. If I ever have to give some anti-social blackguard a thrashing, I want him too embarassed to admit to it in court. “OK, Mr. Burke. After you entered the dwelling, what happened?” “He hit me with a walrus penis.” “Case dismissed.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/25 "2007-06-23T16:45:28Z")
There’s a story that a suburban police department around here once (many years ago) kept a pink bunny suit on hand for officers to wear when beating up recalcitrant suspects. The thinking was that no self-respecting hoodlum would ever admit to being knocked around by a guy in a pink bunny suit… and no judge would ever believe it. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/26 "2007-06-23T19:48:14Z")
I remember once in the 1970s, Johnny Carson had some Eskimos on his program to show some of the events in what amounted to the “Eskimo Olympics.” The spokesperson, a lovely young Inuit lady, presented Carson with a large bone from a walrus. I’ll try to reproduce the dialog as best I remember: Young Lady: Here is a gift. It’s from a walrus. Carson (receiving bone): Oh, OK, a tusk? Young Lady: No. . . It’s actually from. . . the male organ. Carson (looks somewhat surprised, drops bone on his desk, then picks it back up): Well, lucky devil. . . does it stay like this all the time??? OK, didn’t advance the OP any. Just though I’d share. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/27 "2007-06-23T21:42:01Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] When I was a kid in San Diego in the early-'70s lug-soled boots were extremely popular. the lug soles resembled a waffle iron, and one stomps around in boots. Hence, ‘waffle-stompers’. [/QUOTE] Early Nike running shoes also sported rows of square lugs, and left waffly footprints. They were also known as waffle-stompers. My wife still has a pair. Japanese collectors were said to prize the waffle-stompers, :dubious: and they allegedly would pay big bucks for a mint-condition pair. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/28 "2007-06-24T07:45:29Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Oosiks also make handy clubs. That’s why mine is displayed in a bookcase near the front door. If I ever have to give some anti-social blackguard a thrashing, I want him too embarassed to admit to it in court. “OK, Mr. Burke. After you entered the dwelling, what happened?” “He hit me with a walrus penis.” “Case dismissed.” [/QUOTE] In _Day Watch_ one appears to be a murder weapon. ---
**Author:** ![1point618](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/c57346/32.png) [@1point618](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1point618)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/29 "2007-06-24T23:05:02Z")
I love that my state’s best known politicians are all crazy or evil. Don Young - evil. Mike Gravel - crazy. Ted Stevens - crazy AND evil. Also, I don’t think the usage of waffle-stomping has continued into the present for most Alaskans, only the super-conservative ones who still think that anyone who likes to preserve the natural beauty of Alaska is evil and out to get them. I’ve been called a Nazi by a state representative for attempting to speak to him about environmental issues - he stood me up on our planned meeting, and later when I saw him and attempted to speak to him about it, I got a tirade about why spraying chemical pesticides near schools is good and why environmentalists are Nazis. That’s the mindset you get up here: either environmentalism is 100% good or 100% bad. I’m so glad I don’t actually live here any more. ---
**Author:** ![1point618](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/c57346/32.png) [@1point618](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1point618)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064/30 "2007-06-24T23:39:26Z")
Shoot, it’s too late to edit… Sorry, what started out as an explanation for why calling someone a waffle-stomper and other disparaging names would be considered OK in Alaska (in that environmentalism is very much vilified) turned into a bit of a political tirade that probably isn’t fit for GQ. Mods, feel free to delete my post rather than moving the whole thread, if that is deemed necessary. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/congressional-walrus-penis/409064.md?page=1)