Don’t bother, it gets zero results. Damn!
You’d have more luck with the phrase “horny manatee”.
" ‘The time has come,’ the Walrus said,
‘To get out of this funk:
to speak of more important things—
Like pinhead senators waving around my junk— …’"
With heartfelt apologies to Lewis Carroll.
Oosiks also make handy clubs. That’s why mine is displayed in a bookcase near the front door. If I ever have to give some anti-social blackguard a thrashing, I want him too embarassed to admit to it in court.
“OK, Mr. Burke. After you entered the dwelling, what happened?”
“He hit me with a walrus penis.”
“Case dismissed.”
There’s a story that a suburban police department around here once (many years ago) kept a pink bunny suit on hand for officers to wear when beating up recalcitrant suspects. The thinking was that no self-respecting hoodlum would ever admit to being knocked around by a guy in a pink bunny suit… and no judge would ever believe it.
I remember once in the 1970s, Johnny Carson had some Eskimos on his program to show some of the events in what amounted to the “Eskimo Olympics.” The spokesperson, a lovely young Inuit lady, presented Carson with a large bone from a walrus. I’ll try to reproduce the dialog as best I remember:
Young Lady: Here is a gift. It’s from a walrus.
Carson (receiving bone): Oh, OK, a tusk?
Young Lady: No. . . It’s actually from. . . the male organ.
Carson (looks somewhat surprised, drops bone on his desk, then picks it back up): Well, lucky devil. . . does it stay like this all the time???
OK, didn’t advance the OP any. Just though I’d share.
Early Nike running shoes also sported rows of square lugs, and left waffly footprints. They were also known as waffle-stompers. My wife still has a pair.
Japanese collectors were said to prize the waffle-stompers, :dubious: and they allegedly would pay big bucks for a mint-condition pair.
In Day Watch one appears to be a murder weapon.
I love that my state’s best known politicians are all crazy or evil. Don Young - evil. Mike Gravel - crazy. Ted Stevens - crazy AND evil.
Also, I don’t think the usage of waffle-stomping has continued into the present for most Alaskans, only the super-conservative ones who still think that anyone who likes to preserve the natural beauty of Alaska is evil and out to get them. I’ve been called a Nazi by a state representative for attempting to speak to him about environmental issues - he stood me up on our planned meeting, and later when I saw him and attempted to speak to him about it, I got a tirade about why spraying chemical pesticides near schools is good and why environmentalists are Nazis. That’s the mindset you get up here: either environmentalism is 100% good or 100% bad. I’m so glad I don’t actually live here any more.
Shoot, it’s too late to edit…
Sorry, what started out as an explanation for why calling someone a waffle-stomper and other disparaging names would be considered OK in Alaska (in that environmentalism is very much vilified) turned into a bit of a political tirade that probably isn’t fit for GQ. Mods, feel free to delete my post rather than moving the whole thread, if that is deemed necessary.