# Connotations of "ex" versus "former" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479 "2010-12-17T05:10:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/1 "2010-12-17T05:10:27Z")
Does “ex” necessarily imply something negative? Individuals who have served in the Marine Corps prefer to be called “former Marines” rather than “ex-Marines.” I always assumed this was because putting “ex” before something implies some kind of separation on bad terms. Is this always the case? ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/2 "2010-12-17T05:42:42Z")
In your example, I get the impression that it means former(ly serving) Marine, as in they are in the Corps for life, just not currently performing those duties. I don’t feel the distinction is as clear in other contexts, though. A former or an ex professor seem like the same thing. I don’t know whether Marines with a DD are still former. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/3 "2010-12-19T00:15:30Z")
In my mind, _former_ is something that ended on a specified, known-in-advance timeframe: “former President”. While _ex-_ is something that ended on an unknown, spontaneous timeframe: “ex-wife”. But it’s a rather subtle distinction. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/4 "2010-12-19T03:25:53Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Does “ex” necessarily imply something negative? > > I always assumed this was because putting “ex” before something implies some kind of separation on bad terms. Is this always the case? I would put ex as immediate, while former may have been three ex’s ago, but time has past. Obviously this is relationship translation. Declan ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/5 "2010-12-19T03:34:15Z")
“Once a Marine, always a Marine. _Semper fidelis!_” as a former (not “ex”) Marine I used to know would say Of course, he also said, “You can trust us with your life, but not with your wife,” and “Every Marine is a rifleman…even the women.” Semantically, “former” tends to indicate that one has voluntarily or honorably moved on or up, where “ex-” denotes a position or relationship that ended prematurely or with adversity. I would agree that it is subtle, but often important. I am a former line cook, but that cheating, lying, thieving bitch is my ex-wife. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/6 "2010-12-19T04:27:18Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > In my mind, _former_ is something that ended on a specified, known-in-advance timeframe: “former President”. While _ex-_ is something that ended on an unknown, spontaneous timeframe: “ex-wife”. But it’s a rather subtle distinction. This. One long term SO is an ex - we are both still very much alive, but we went our seperate ways. The other is a former - death was what parted us. In careers, retirement would be a former teacher, a former machinist, a former doctor, etc . Ex would indicate an exit from a job or profession that wasn’t necessarily on good terms. Another example: a former student is one who completed the course of study and moved on; an ex would be one who quit or was expelled or otherwise asked to leave before completion. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/7 "2010-12-19T14:47:08Z")
Better suited for IMHO rather than General Questions. Moved **samclem** Moderator ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/8 "2010-12-19T14:49:28Z")
I think that in terms of relationships, “ex” is definitely an indicator that it ended badly. I have old boyfriends and ex boyfriends, and you can guess which ones I still think fondly of. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/9 "2010-12-19T14:56:04Z")
Ex pretty much means wife or relationships. When referring to an ex, there is little doubt who you mean. When referring to former, it’s open for grabs. Who would say my ex-car or my ex-residence? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/10 "2010-12-19T15:32:34Z")
The bit with the Marines is a special idiomatic exception to the general connotation of fomer vs. ex. The whole point of the distinction between former and ex as applied to Marines is their other vaunted catchphrase: “The change is forever.” One is psychologically a Marine for life regardless of whether you still work there. For other than Marines … I disagree a bit with the posters above that ex is \*necessarily \*pejoritive. Former is very neutral, while ex can be either neutral or pejoritive. e.g. the term ex-spouse immediately conjurs up images of divorce. And statistically speaking, divorces are miserable affairs which bring out the worst in everybody. So is ex-spouse pejoritive? You bet. But it’s pejoritive about the person, not the spouseness, nor the formerness of the spouseness. In fact the formerness of the spousness is considered a good thing. “I’m an ex-line cook.” Pejoritive about the person or the job? Not really. You used to do that, now you don’t. What about ex-smoker? ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/11 "2010-12-19T15:38:18Z")
Former equals dead. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/12 "2010-12-19T17:34:20Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Former equals dead. Yeah, I use “late” for my late husband and “former” for my former in-laws via my late husband. If I get remarried, I think my late husband will become my former husband just so people don’t think my current husband died overnight. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/13 "2010-12-19T19:36:06Z")
What about an ex-parrot? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/connotations-of-ex-versus-former/564479/14 "2010-12-21T14:54:34Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Yeah, I use “late” for my late husband and “former” for my former in-laws via my late husband. If I get remarried, I think my late husband will become my former husband just so people don’t think my current husband died overnight. You don’t have to choose: he could be your late former husband.