# Conservapedia's Greatest Conservative Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962 "2011-06-27T00:28:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/1 "2011-06-27T00:28:48Z")
Maybe this should go in the Pit, but since nobody around here has much good to say about CP, I don’t think that’s necessary. Anyway, [most of the songs are pretty good](http://conservapedia.com/Essay:Greatest_Conservative_Songs). It’s the brief descriptions that made me chuckle. > [@](#): > > Anything Goes by Guns N’ Roses- A blatant message about the dangers of premarital sex. > [@](#): > > Wouldn’t It Be Nice by the Beach Boys – Pro-marriage. > [@](#): > > You Can’t Hurry Love (You Just Have to Wait) – Abstinence for rock fans. The versions by The Supremes and Phil Collins were popular. > [@](#): > > Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd - Because Conservatives want a free country, and liberals are in love with communism. > [@](#): > > Capitalism by Oingo Boingo – There’s nothing wrong with free enterprise. > [@](#): > > Don’t Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow) by Fleetwood Mac – Used by Bill Clinton as his campaign theme song in 1992, but liberals often try to appeal to conservative themes for elections. > [@](#): > > Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones – Reminds humanity that nobody is perfect and evil is present in the world and needs to be fought. > [@](#): > > Staying Alive by the Bee Gees – Pro-people and pro-staying alive, and this: “we can try to understand/the New York Times’ effect on man.” > [@](#): > > Stranger in Blue Suede Shoes by Kevin Ayers – Defends the right of businessmen to choose their customers: “we don’t serve strangers in blue suede shoes”. > [@](#): > > Respect Aretha Franklin(1967)- This song is about respecting woman and their choices to be equal members in society. Maybe I’ll add Sepultura’s _Refuse/Resist_ because fucking liberals. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/2 "2011-06-27T00:39:54Z")
Wow, is that a joke or are they actually for real? I’m surprised there’s nothing by Rush on that list. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/3 "2011-06-27T00:44:46Z")
It’s Conservapedia, so even money says at least one song was posted by a troll. Rush did make the list- three times! I just didn’t mention them. > [@](#): > > Red Barchetta by Rush – Tells the story of a future with excessive regulation, where even driving is illegal. > [@](#): > > Something For Nothing by Rush – “You can’t get something for nothing, you can’t have freedom for free.” > [@](#): > > Big Money by Rush - Pro-capitalism Apparently wacko conservatives don’t actually listen to Rush: [QUOTE=Neil Peart] Big money make mistakes Big money got a heavy hand Big money take control Big money got a mean streak Big money got no soul [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/4 "2011-06-27T01:49:46Z")
That list has got to be a put-on. “Taking Care Of Business” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive is about “the work ethic and promoting self-employment”? The whole point of the song (such as it is) is making fun of hard-working wage slaves who don’t have the chance to be rock stars who work at nothing all day. And Debby Boone’s “You Light Up My Life”, described as “One of the biggest hits ever, but liberals omit that this song is about Jesus.” Actually liberals (or anyone with a smidgen of musical taste) omit this horrifically glurgy song entirely, preferring to believe that it never fouled the airwaves. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/5 "2011-06-27T02:21:12Z")
MC Ren - behind the scenes. Very pro-family ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/6 "2011-06-27T02:40:52Z")
“No Son of Mine” – huh? It’s about a kid who runs away from an abusive parent. How is that conservative OR liberal? “Dissident” from Pearl Jam is “pro-life”? Are you fucking out of your goard, people? Eddie Vedder is extremely vocal about being pro-choice, dumbass. Besides, according to [Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissident_%28song%29): > [@](#): > > In “Dissident”, I’m actually talking about a woman who takes in someone who’s being sought after by the authorities for political reasons. He’s on the run, and she offers him a refuge. But she just can’t handle the responsibility. She turns him in, then she has to live with the guilt and the realization that she’s betrayed the one thing that gave her life meaning. It made her life difficult. It made her life hell. But it gave her a reason to be. But she couldn’t hold on. She folded. That’s the tragedy of the song. Look under the “Talk” section for some of the songs that USED to be on there. “Land of Confusion”. “Fortunate Son”. Someone else suggestioned “YMCA”. Good lord. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/7 "2011-06-27T03:48:40Z")
So now the game is come up with the most unlikely song you can think of and misconstrue it into having a conservative message. “Anarchy in the UK” - Sex Pistols - a call for less government regulation “Basket Case” - Green Day - a song about the pitfalls of universal health care “I Shot the Sheriff” - Bob Marley - a Second Amendment song about how firearms defend against tyranny “Violet” - Hole - promotes teenage abstinence ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/8 "2011-06-27T03:51:37Z")
Phil Ochs must be spinning. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/9 "2011-06-27T04:02:15Z")
> [@Conservapedia](#): > > Union Sundown by Bob Dylan – The title says it all. Do they even listen to these songs? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/10 "2011-06-27T04:02:15Z")
MacAurthur Park-How the homeless are destroying the urban recreational areas. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/11 "2011-06-27T04:06:53Z")
> [@Conservapedia](#): > > Keep an open mind or else by McCarthy - about the conservative value of keeping an open mind. “Keeping an open mind” is a conservative value? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/12 "2011-06-27T04:12:57Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Wow, is that a joke or are they actually for real? This is the most oft asked question about Conservapedia. It appears the the founder (Phyllis Schafly’s son) is dead serious, but I suspect that the site has its share of trolls just fucking with him. Conservapedia might be the best example of Poe’s Law on the internet. there are almost certainly some entries done purely as gags, but you can’t tell for sure what they are. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/13 "2011-06-27T04:13:24Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > MacAurthur Park-How the homeless are destroying the urban recreational areas. And cake. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/14 "2011-06-27T04:15:18Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > It’s Conservapedia, so even money says at least one song was posted by a troll. Rush did make the list- three times! I just didn’t mention them. > > Apparently wacko conservatives don’t actually listen to Rush: I’m kind of surprised they didn’t mention “Anthem” which is an explicit paen to Ayn Rand. Of course, Ayn Rand was an atheist, so that might make her anathema on Conservapedia. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/15 "2011-06-27T04:27:10Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > “I Shot the Sheriff” - Bob Marley - a Second Amendment song about how firearms defend against tyranny In that case, maybe they can throw in a couple of songs by Common. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/16 "2011-06-27T04:39:17Z")
Isn’t “I Shot the Sheriff” a pro-weed song? “Every time I tried to plant a seed he’d say kill it before it grows kill it before it grows” The narrator was growing weed, wasn’t he? ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/17 "2011-06-27T04:52:25Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Isn’t “I Shot the Sheriff” a pro-weed song? > > “Every time I tried to plant a seed > he’d say kill it before it grows > kill it before it grows” > > The narrator was growing weed, wasn’t he? Surely you aren’t suggesting that a Rastafarian would make any references to cannabis! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/18 "2011-06-27T05:17:52Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > So now the game is come up with the most unlikely song you can think of and misconstrue it into having a conservative message. This one’s got to be the clubhouse favorite. > [@runner pat](#): > > MacAurthur Park-How the homeless are destroying the urban recreational areas. Let’s go with… Pussy by Lords of Acid - all about how liberals are emasculating America. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/19 "2011-06-27T06:09:44Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > So now the game is come up with the most unlikely song you can think of and misconstrue it into having a conservative message. I think we can have fun with this idea! “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl):” – The importance of female companionship to our brave Navy sailors. “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero” – The importance of following military orders regardless of one’s personal emotion. “The Night Chicago Died” – Cops and guns, especially those defending our American Way of Life, will always win. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962/20 "2011-06-27T06:18:46Z")
Man, I hadn’t thought of Conservapedia in ages until 1) The SO decided to go to Wash U for law school 2) I found out that a dozen law professors had protested Phyllis Schlafly getting an honorary degree 3) The Schlafly brewer in St. Louis is run/owned by her nephew 4) The Schlafly library branch is near his apartment and 5) I saw Conservapedia is run by her son. Blerg. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservapedias-greatest-conservative-songs/586962.md?page=2)