# Conservatism Is A Mental Disorder! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 28, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493 "2003-07-28T18:54:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/61 "2003-07-29T01:12:29Z")
After the mother-killin’ and bear-rapin’. See? I’m not a liberal hippie peacenik and I can drop Arlo Guthrie references! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/62 "2003-07-29T01:14:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by a bird on the wire \* > \*\*_I am simply damp with contrition and remorse._ > > er, that may just be drool. Perhaps a friend or relative could check for you.\*\* Given **elucidator’s** preoccupation with bedwetting and undies, perhaps another explanation is in order. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/63 "2003-07-29T01:17:06Z")
Ooooh, a zinger! You got the same writer as Dick Cheney? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/64 "2003-07-29T01:20:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*Ooooh, a zinger! You got the same writer as Dick Cheney? \*\* Actually, it’s a serious question. If you’re not here for the discussion. If you are just trying to piss people off. If you are just trying to be extreme and get reactions. What do we call that? ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/65 "2003-07-29T01:23:55Z")
I thought **'luci’s** OP had potential and I’m a sorry the Cons took the literal bait rather than the obvious comic absurdity and run with that. Perhaps they’re feeling a little sensitive at the moment . . . ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/66 "2003-07-29T01:50:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Actually, it’s a serious question…If you are just trying to piss people off. \*\* And, **elucidator** , urine a bad way if you can’t handle a little yellow journalistic commentary. Actually, I’ve never minded **elucidator** much. He’s sort of the Steve Balboni of the Left. Every once in a great while he connects with some valid point. Most often though, he’s ringing up yet another Golden Sombrero. Get it? _Golden_ Sombrero? Hah! I slay me. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/67 "2003-07-29T01:53:13Z")
Do. (I got no idea who Steve Balboni is. So that may be a pretty good joke.) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/68 "2003-07-29T03:39:35Z")
> [@](#): > > I swear, some of you need some serious work on calibrating your irony detectors, and some others are so damned uptight, you’ll need a hypodermic needle to perform an enema. > [@](#): > > My god, can’t you conservatives take a fucking joke? Lighten the fuck up for fuck’s sake. And you guys wonder why nobody takes the Democrats seriously anymore. “Hey, they say not to go to war! They say not to slash taxes! They say to be nice to minorities! They say… oh, wait, they’re just joking! Carry on as normal, old boys!” ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/69 "2003-07-29T04:35:32Z")
This is a copy of the note I sent to the university’s publicity department. > [@](#): > > Dear Ms. Maclay: > As a former student and teaching assistant at U. C., Berkeley, I was disappointed in your decision to publicize the study of the psychology of political conservatives. That was a poor study indeed. It brings ridicule to your fine University. No response yet… ---
**Author:** ![Eolbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@Eolbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eolbo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/70 "2003-07-29T05:50:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\* > > Mockery and derision is not the proper response to these poor souls. \*\* IS TOO!!! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/71 "2003-07-29T06:24:17Z")
Actually, Eolbo, conservatives respond best to under-the-table bribes, backhanded business deals, or strawberry shortcake. ---
**Author:** ![Eolbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@Eolbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eolbo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/72 "2003-07-29T06:39:16Z")
Like I am going to give my strawberry shortcake to mental defectives! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/73 "2003-07-29T06:49:40Z")
You’ll be giving us under-the-table bribes? Bonus! I’ll take mine in unmarked treasury bonds. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/74 "2003-07-29T07:00:27Z")
**Diogenes,** despite evidence to the contrary, conservatives _do_ have a sense of humor. Granted, it’s often a mean-spirited, comedically-mistimed excuse to kick the underdogs, but it does qualify as humor. Check out some of these gems from righty-tighty humorist Rush Limbaugh: “Have you ever noticed how all newspaper composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?” “I think the reason why girls don’t do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said ‘All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what’s it going to be?’” “We’re in bad shape in this country when you can’t look at a couple of huge knockers and notice it.” “One of the things I want to do before I die is conduct the homeless Olympics. … [Events would include] the 10-meter Shopping Cart Relay, the Dumpster Dig, and the Hop, Skip, and Trip.” “If we’re going to start rewarding no skills and stupid people – I’m serious, let the unskilled jobs, let the kinds of jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do – let stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work.” …What, aren’t you laughing yet? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![kawliga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ea666f/32.png) [@kawliga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kawliga)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/75 "2003-07-29T09:55:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Plastic Ninja \* > \*\*_blinks_ > > Hitler was a right-wing conservative? Wow. Socialist right-wing conservative. Cool. There’s not many of those. > > Mostly I thought he’d run so far to the left that he came rocketing out the other side… > \*\* You’re joking, right? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/76 "2003-07-29T10:15:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*Do. > > (I got no idea who Steve Balboni is. So that may be a pretty good joke.) \*\* A ‘slugger’ in the American League, mostly with the Kansas City Royals. he had home run power and managed to knock a decent number out of the park. But most often he swung wildly and missed and had a low batting average. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/77 "2003-07-29T12:21:03Z")
Lifetime .229 hitter, led the American League in strikeouts in '85. If it makes you feel better, I consider **december** to be the Marvelous Marv Throneberry of the Right. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/78 "2003-07-29T12:31:55Z")
[sigh] Awright, whothehell is Marvelous Marv Throneberry? You’re making this up, right? ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/79 "2003-07-29T14:20:28Z")
**coldfire** , what are you talking about? If **december** posted an OP stating that liberalism was a mental disorder, he’d do it because he actually believed it. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/80 "2003-07-29T14:35:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*[sigh] > > Awright, whothehell is Marvelous Marv Throneberry? You’re making this up, right? \*\* I see you are sadly deficient in American baseball lore. [Marvelous Marv](http://www.baseball-reference.com/t/thronma01.shtml) was one of the most famous/notorious of the original Amazin’ Mets. Also had some power, but negated it through a hilarious level of ineptitude on the field, losing pop flies in the lights, crashing into other players etc. One story has him belting a deep drive to the wall and steaming happily into third, only to be tagged out because he had missed second base. When Casey Stengel came out to protest to the ump, it was gently explained to him that Marv had missed first base as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493.md?page=5)