# Conservatism Is A Mental Disorder! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 28, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493 "2003-07-28T18:54:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/161 "2003-08-05T00:26:00Z")
According to the Texas Multiphasic Naturedness Index (TMNI) - where Tom Dull Lay registers .01 And Willie Nelson runs about 94.1 (give or take) I’d put myself in the low 70’s. And thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/162 "2003-08-05T04:16:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\*Oh c’mon now, is **Reeder** or **elucidator** the lefty **december**? Can we have two? \*\* No, we need more than two to even it out. Every liberal is a noisy crowd all by his/herself. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![newmeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@newmeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newmeat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/163 "2003-08-05T05:55:27Z")
Lefties have these buzzwords that really hide what they are all about. They use terms like "corporate " like it is some inhuman entity, yet entirely composed of people just trying to make a better life. They talk about “leveling the playing feild” which is really just “give me what you earned that I could not earn myself”. They talk of “entitlements” instead of “empowerment” Have you ever heard a progressive liberal utter the words “self empowerment” or “self responsibility”?? No. Do they ever realize that you can never help anyone, you can only self empower them to help themselves? Why don’t they put their energy there? Do they ever say “geee, I think I will start my own company and pay everybody a high wage, from the janitor to the ECO” No , they don’t do that do that because that would never work. That violates REALITY. Reality cannot be violated. Teach people to be rich instead of taking taxes from the rich and just handing it to the poor. You want money for a “program” ?? ASK, you might get it. But make sure it accomplishes self empowerment instead of feeding the animals at the trough. ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/164 "2003-08-05T06:28:50Z")
**Elucidator** (sorry, but I refuse to not capitalize the first word of a sentence, even if it is a poster’s name), when you started this thread didn’t you suspect that a large number of right-wingers would take offense? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/165 "2003-08-05T12:25:27Z")
Did I expect to have some fun with this? Goodness, yes! Did I realise the Tighty Righties would go into full frontal hissy-fit mode? Heavens to Betsy, no! Is it difficult to parody Rummy’s inane syntax and rhetorical style? Fuck, no… ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/166 "2003-08-05T12:47:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*I dont get it, and I refuse to ask my smart-ass kid. \*\* Oh, c’mon, now. You know how to whistle, don’t you, **elucidator**? [You just put your lips together and blow](http://www.reelclassics.com/Actresses/Bacall/bacall2.htm). And I feel sorry for you if you need a smart-ass kid to tell you that. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/167 "2003-08-05T15:10:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*Did I expect to have some fun with this? Goodness, yes! Did I realise the Tighty Righties would go into full frontal hissy-fit mode? Heavens to Betsy, no! \*\* The saddest thing about this whole thread is that Elucidator and his usual duhspects are playing the martyr card. “Oh, we made a joke and they said all these \* terrible \* things about us! They have no sense of humor!” Really, if you think that the fairly mild and mostly tongue-in-cheek Elucidator bashing is “full frontal hissy-fit”, then none of you have spent much time in the Pit. As if any of the language in this thread would bring even a blush to the cheeks to the most innocent of maidens, assuming you had a time machine and could go back to Victorian times to find one. “Full frontal?” The hissy fits in this thread wouldn’t even violate the Hayes Code. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/168 "2003-08-05T15:19:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Finagle \* > **The saddest thing about this whole thread is that Elucidator and his usual duhspects are playing the martyr card. "Oh, we made a joke and they said all these \* terrible \* things about us! They have no sense of humor!"** Nice. Repeating what we’re saying in a silly voice reflects on you more than on us. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/169 "2003-08-05T16:37:34Z")
If you children don’t knock it off right now nobody is going to get any ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/170 "2003-08-05T16:55:48Z")
But he started it! ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/171 "2003-08-05T21:36:05Z")
I don’t care who started it. I don’t want to hear another peep out of you! Do you want to spend the rest of the evening in your room with no TV? If you do, just say one more word. I’m not kidding! Someday you’ll have kids. Then you’ll see. Right now just be still and let me read the paper in peace and quiet. And don’t you roll your eyes at me! Good Lord, I seem to be channeling my father, dead these thirty-five years and more. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/172 "2003-08-05T23:09:57Z")
_:sulks:_ ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/173 "2003-08-06T03:31:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by newmeat \* > \*\*Lefties have these buzzwords that really hide what they are all about. They use terms like "corporate " like it is some inhuman entity, yet entirely composed of people just trying to make a better life. They talk about “leveling the playing feild” which is really just “give me what you earned that I could not earn myself”. They talk of “entitlements” instead of “empowerment” Have you ever heard a progressive liberal utter the words “self empowerment” or “self responsibility”?? No. Do they ever realize that you can never help anyone, you can only self empower them to help themselves? Why don’t they put their energy there? Do they ever say “geee, I think I will start my own company and pay everybody a high wage, from the janitor to the ECO” No , they don’t do that do that because that would never work. That violates REALITY. Reality cannot be violated. Teach people to be rich instead of taking taxes from the rich and just handing it to the poor. You want money for a “program” ?? ASK, you might get it. But make sure it accomplishes self empowerment instead of feeding the animals at the trough. \*\* Is that you talking to yourself again, Rumsfeld? ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/174 "2003-08-06T15:12:58Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by newmeat_ > Lefties have these buzzwords that really hide what they are all about. They use terms like "corporate " like it is some inhuman entity, yet entirely composed of people just trying to make a better life. They talk about “leveling the playing feild” which is really just “give me what you earned that I could not earn myself”. They talk of “entitlements” instead of “empowerment” Have you ever heard a progressive liberal utter the words “self empowerment” or “self responsibility”?? No. Do they ever realize that you can never help anyone, you can only self empower them to help themselves? Why don’t they put their energy there? Do they ever say “geee, I think I will start my own company and pay everybody a high wage, from the janitor to the ECO” No , they don’t do that do that because that would never work. That violates REALITY. Reality cannot be violated. Teach people to be rich instead of taking taxes from the rich and just handing it to the poor. You want money for a “program” ?? ASK, you might get it. But make sure it accomplishes self empowerment instead of feeding the animals at the trough. Sigh. Years of careful planning down the drain. There we were creating our own version of newspeak and along comes an upstart conservative and blows the whole thing out of the water. OK, anyone got any new ideas? Hiding communists under people’s beds failed miserably, so I guess we’ll just have to go with whatever our our associates in the Gay Lobby are working on. I hope they’ve figured out how to give Lesbians superpowers, because otherwise we’re screwed. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/175 "2003-08-06T15:14:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Evil One \* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by El\_Kabong_ > > Ahem. This is where someone says “if you can find a single person on this board who thinks (Mallard Fillmore) is funny, I’ll kiss your ass on Main Street”. > > > > Except it won’t be me. Chances are there actually IS at least one such idiot out there. > > \*\*And I’m sure you people think that “Doonsebury” is the ultimate expression of literature, high art and biting political satire instead of the predictable leftist tripe that it is. \*\* I will now wait patiently for the poster quoted above to explain the relevance of his or her conclusion to anything I said here. FTR, the Houston _Chronicle_ appears to run every strip available in US syndication, and there isn’t a single freaking one that I think even remotely funny, except, for some reason I can’t fathom, "Pearls Before Swine’. Humph. According to the OP, I’m a “tighty righty”, while according to Dr. Evil here I’m apparently a Lib… Li… L…, you know, one of _those people_. Could you folks please try to agree on what unwarranted label you want to apply to me? This could very well be the most idiotic train wreck of a thread to have ever appeared in this forum. And now I’ve extended its worthless life by another post (sigh). ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/176 "2003-08-06T15:24:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gex gex \* > \*\*OK, anyone got any new ideas? \*\* Have we really given giant protest puppets a chance to do their work? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![New\_Iskander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/db5fbb/32.png) [@New\_Iskander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Iskander)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493/177 "2003-08-06T16:15:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by newmeat \* > \*\*Reality cannot be violated. \*\* I was trying to hold back, but I can’t anymore. I didn’t sleep well last two nights since reading this. The challenge is irresistible. I depart in search of immaculate Reality. I am giddy. My intentions are carnal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conservatism-is-a-mental-disorder/191493.md?page=8)