# Constantine: The Movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 19, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958 "2004-05-19T13:53:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/1 "2004-05-19T13:53:42Z")
Last night, I went to see _Troy_ (I don’t wanna talk about it) and I saw a preview for the movie _Constantine_… with John Constantine played by Keanu Reeves?!? What? > **[Constantine (2005) - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0360486/)** > > Constantine: Directed by Francis Lawrence. With Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Djimon Hounsou. Supernatural exorcist and demonologist John Constantine helps a policewoman prove her sister's death was not a suicide, but something more. Any thoughts on the casting and the choice of plot? Any word on what Ennis et al think of the whole thing? They didn’t write the screenplay, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/2 "2004-05-19T14:02:24Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > … with John Constantine played by Keanu Reeves?!? _NOOOOOOOOOO_ ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/3 "2004-05-19T14:04:30Z")
I thought this was gonna be a film about the _Emporer_ Constantine. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/4 "2004-05-19T14:04:38Z")
Rumor has it Alan Moore (who co-created Constantine back in Swamp Thing in the '80s) asked to have his name removed from the “Created By” credit, and to have his share of the money given to the co-creator (Steve Bissette?). Take that for what you will, especially after all the unnecessary changes made to Moore’s From Hell and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Apparently a teaser trailer is already online, showing such things as Keanu shooting a golden shotgun shaped like a cross. Hoo boy. This is not the JC we know and sometimes love. I like the character of John Constantine, and this could be an excellent R-rated movie, but I think Keanu Reeves playing an American JC is all wrong. The fact that he is British and most of his stories are set in England is pretty important to the character. Obviously JC was based on Sting, who is now too old to convincingly play him, so I was thinking maybe Jason Statham, from such films as Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, and The Transporter. He might not be blonde, but he’s a “cool” actor, and could really break out as a star in America with one perfect role. If they had to go with an American, I can’t think of anyone better than Kiefer Sutherland, who looks just like JC, and could definitely do the “dark and dangerous” thing well. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/5 "2004-05-19T14:05:51Z")
_Emperor_. ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/6 "2004-05-19T14:11:22Z")
I think it’s going to be a trainwreck. An entertaining trainwreck, but a trainwreck nevertheless. Nothing I’ve read reassures me that this will even be a good, entertaining movie, let alone a good Hellblazer movie. I could live with just the former (e.g., “From Hell”) but think even that is hoping for too much. Chaz, a teenage sidekick? I repeat: a teenage sidekick. For John Constantine. Someone kill me now. Djimon Hounsou as Papa Midnite is a great casting choice - assuming one doesn’t think that Papa Midnite is the most ill-conceived character in the Hellblazer mythos. That’s one situation where I _hope_ they make massive changes. If anyone wants a good place to learn about all things Hellblazer, and all things Constantine-movie related, go [Straight to Hell](http://www.insanerantings.com/hell/). ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/7 "2004-05-19T14:17:41Z")
And no Zatanna in this film either… I’d definitely have Jennifer Connelly or Rose McGowan playing Zatanna in a Constantine/Hellblazer film. Bring on the fishnets! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/8 "2004-05-19T14:22:10Z")
Well, at least they didn’t go with the original casting… Nicholas Cage. I have not seen the trailer. In fact, I have decided there is no trailer. How can you have a trailer for a movie which does not exist in the first place? Better living through denial. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/9 "2004-05-19T14:25:40Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Obviously JC was based on Sting, who is now too old to convincingly play him, so I was thinking maybe Jason Statham, from such films as Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, and The Transporter. Yeh. Always thought Ewan McGregor’d work, meself. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/10 "2004-05-19T14:39:25Z")
> [@Moody Bastard](#): > > Yeh. > Always thought Ewan McGregor’d work, meself. Good choice. I would like to see him as JC, assuming they ever make a Hellblazer movie. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/11 "2004-05-19T15:16:56Z")
You guys are not going to believe this crazy nightmare I just had…somebody told me that Keanu Reeves was going to play an American John Constantine. ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/12 "2004-05-19T15:44:11Z")
There, there, **pravnik**. It was just a bad dream. No one would actually do such a thing. Go back to sleep. (nor would they add a “holy shotgun”) (nor a teenage sidekick) \ ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/13 "2004-05-19T17:27:12Z")
From the script development meeting for _Constantine_: Studio flack: Now, we like what you’ve got here, but some problems have shown up in our marketing tests. Writer: Problems? Sf: Yeah. First, does Constantine have to be English? W: Well, the character as created is English… Sf: Right. And we love that. But, our research shows us that an American would be more popular with the target audience. That’s not a **huge** problem, is it? W:… Sf: Great! Secondly…the script is a little…dark. W: Dark!?! It’s a horror movie. Sf: Sure, sure, but it doesn’t have to be such a downer, does it? W: Have you even _read_ the original material? Sf: No time. Too much to do. Look, I love what you’re doing. Really. It’s almost right. There’re just a few things that need tweaking. Now, what kind of weapon does Constantine use? W: Well, he’s a magician, and he uses whatever’s necessary, and whatever he can find. [sarcasm]He doesn’t have a utility belt though, if that’s what you mean.[/sarcasm] Sf: But he could, right? W: _speechless_ Sf: Here’s something we had the art department mock up. (Takes out Cross-gun) Isn’t it great? Exactly the sort of thing a guy would use to take out a demon, right? W: (too busy slitting wrists to answer) … ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/14 "2004-05-19T17:38:17Z")
> [@Michael Ellis](#): > > I thought this was gonna be a film about the _Emperor_ Constantine. Hell I’dve watched it. But then again I’m probably a bit of a niche market 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/15 "2004-05-19T18:00:10Z")
I find it interesting that what we have here is a movie about a guy who’s confident as all hell. When he doesn’t know what he’s gonna do, he knuckles down and _finds a way_, somehow, anyhow. He’s NEVER at a loss; even if he’s feelin’ it, he won’t show it. So, naturally, we hire a guy to play him who perpetually looks rather stunned and clueless… a guy whose best roles have BEEN largely “guy who is stunned and clueless.” Train wreck a’comin’… ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/16 "2004-05-19T18:30:39Z")
> [@Michael Ellis](#): > > I thought this was gonna be a film about the _Emporer_ Constantine. Me too. I’m still shuddering at the thought of Vin Diesel starring in _Hannibal_. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/17 "2004-05-19T18:33:10Z")
> [@Michael Ellis](#): > > I thought this was gonna be a film about the _Emporer_ Constantine. ‘In hoc bodacious victus, dudes’ _air harp solo_ from _Diocletian and Constantine’s Excellent Adventure_ ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/18 "2004-05-19T19:24:55Z")
Befuddled American d00d as John Constantine. With a golden shotgun cross. A shotgun. Cross. Made of gold. :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![maikai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@maikai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maikai)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/19 "2004-05-20T06:23:19Z")
[Here’s some info about Moore removing his name from movies.](http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2004/03/setting-record-straighter.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958/20 "2004-05-20T06:37:33Z")
My prediction? At some point in the movie, John Constantine will say “whoa”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constantine-the-movie/245958.md?page=2)