# Constipation. Help me out, folks... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2010, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953 "2010-08-21T05:06:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/1 "2010-08-21T05:06:05Z")
I have taken ex-lax twice this evening, but I still can’t ‘go’…not since yesterday or so, despite the completely “right NOW” feeling I have. What else can I do? Have poo Need solution ☹ ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/2 "2010-08-21T05:16:41Z")
Try eating a can of leafy green veggies or a can of corn, washed down with plenty of water. 'S all I got. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/3 "2010-08-21T05:17:13Z")
I don’t know if this constitutes medical advice but you can buy epsom salts at any pharmacy and mix it in water. The directions are on the box. That will do the job no matter what in 1 - 8 hours but don’t make any plans to go anywhere and it tastes horrible although it is barely better with lemon or lime. You just have to do it as shots and hope not to puke as well. Don’t blame me if you don’t like the taste or the results though. Ex-lax usually takes longer to work than an evening. It is supposed to be gentle. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/4 "2010-08-21T05:22:34Z")
Drink lots of water. Go for a run. Abdominal massage (in a clockwise direction). Kiwi fruit. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/5 "2010-08-21T05:43:40Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I don’t know if this constitutes medical advice but you can buy epsom salts at any pharmacy and mix it in water. The directions are on the box. That will do the job no matter what in 1 - 8 hours but don’t make any plans to go anywhere and it tastes horrible although it is barely better with lemon or lime. You just have to do it as shots and hope not to puke as well. Don’t blame me if you don’t like the taste or the results though. Ex-lax usually takes longer to work than an evening. It is supposed to be gentle. Yup. Epsom salts will fix it every time. Usually fairly quickly. But you’ll need to be near a bathroom for a good long while. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/6 "2010-08-21T06:02:33Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > Abdominal massage (in a clockwise direction). Is that clockwise from the point of view of the masseuse, or the one being massaged? At this point, I think the last thing we’d want is to get things going in the wrong direction. ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/7 "2010-08-21T06:18:40Z")
A little K-Y or Vaseline on the end of your finger with some self-inflicted prostrate exam will \ ease things along… ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/8 "2010-08-21T06:24:16Z")
Enema? ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/9 "2010-08-21T06:26:45Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > A little K-Y or Vaseline on the end of your finger with some self-inflicted prostrate exam will \ ease things along… I can tell you the results of OpalCat’s prostate exam without using my finger. There are OTC stool softeners like Colace, but I don’t know how wise it is to mix that with Exlax. An enema might also be helpful. Or you could run down to the drug store and read the boxes in the digestive section. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/10 "2010-08-21T06:27:09Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > > [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > > > Abdominal massage (in a clockwise direction). > > Is that clockwise from the point of view of the masseuse, or the one being massaged? > > At this point, I think the last thing we’d want is to get things going in the wrong direction. 😛 The way your bowel works, so clockwise from the POV of the blockee. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/11 "2010-08-21T06:36:38Z")
Can I just interject again that it’s 2:35am and I’m miserable? I just had to vent. Please continue with advice. I’m out in the boonnies of New Hampshire so I can’t get to a drug store until tomorrow… ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/12 "2010-08-21T06:42:37Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Can I just interject again that it’s 2:35am and I’m miserable? I just had to vent. Please continue with advice. I’m out in the boonnies of New Hampshire so I can’t get to a drug store until tomorrow… Those ExLax things and stool softeners can often take HOURS and HOURS to work. Seriously - get some warm fluid up your rear and massage the opening with some lubricant. You should be fine within the hour while the meds may not be effective until tomorrow (if you had them to take). ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/13 "2010-08-21T07:13:51Z")
Don’t have a delivery mechanism nor lubricant ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/14 "2010-08-21T07:17:32Z")
Hard boiled eggs mashed up with mayonnaise. I don’t get constipated, but this little combo upsets my system enough to send me dashing for the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/15 "2010-08-21T07:19:59Z")
Egg salad never had that effect for me. Sounds tasty, though! ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/16 "2010-08-21T07:41:08Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Don’t have a delivery mechanism nor lubricant ☹ Hand cream works. And a warm bath. I am dead serious. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/17 "2010-08-21T07:55:52Z")
My friend always swore that drinking a big glass of water would get things moving. I’ve never needed to test it out. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/18 "2010-08-21T07:57:33Z")
There is no bathtub here ☹ And I’ve already drunk several bottles of water. (leading to the need to pee, and then the frustration at not being able to do the other thing. GRRR) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/19 "2010-08-21T08:04:14Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > Hand cream works. And a warm bath. > > I am dead serious. Be preapred to leave the tub quickly. > [@OpalCat](#): > > And I’ve already drunk several bottles of water. (leading to the need to pee, and then the frustration at not being able to do the other thing. GRRR) If this thread gets enough views, we won’t associate you with the number 3 anymore. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2010, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953/20 "2010-08-21T09:04:56Z")
Coffee gets bowel motility going. 2,000mg of vitamin C can irritate the bowel and get it going. About a quart of apple juice or prune juice. You’re so young, how come the backed up bowels? I guess I think of old and grey people having problems. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/constipation-help-me-out-folks/550953.md?page=2)