# Contest! Name my new car. Win Absolutely Nothing!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 28, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343 "2004-07-28T23:36:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/1 "2004-07-28T23:36:23Z")
As early as tomorrow, I could be in posession of a 1995 Chevy Suburban in cherry condition, baby.
She needs a name. She is long, large and black. She is b-e-a-u-Ti-Ful.
I was thinking if the name is short enough to possibly put it on a personalized plate. ( My current plate is 1VanGo. Which won’t work anymore ☹ bummer)
The first name that struck me , citing big, black and beautiful is **Lula** for the character of the same name from the Stephanie Plum novels. Which is even funnier as I am white (ok, more of a blush), live in the sticks and no one but Plum fans would get it.
Remember baby, this isn’t about fab prizes, its about \* prestige.\* You haven’t had any of that lately _cough_if ever_cough_ and if you did have it you wouldn’t be here slumming, loser. and it can’t be bought on eBay. This is your chance at immortality.
This name will be on this car until I drive it off its axels. ( Probably a week, but more than likely at least 10 years.)
The small print: I reserve the right to be the final arbiter of naming my truck. It is also in consideration of if the DMV approves of said name for the plate. (the bastiges.) Other rules and restrictions will apply if I ever think of them.
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### Author:  [@tcthareal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tcthareal)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/2 "2004-07-28T23:47:57Z")
😉
> [@Shirley Ujest](#):
>
> As early as tomorrow, I could be in posession of a 1995 Chevy Suburban in cherry condition, baby.
>
> She needs a name. She is long, large and black. She is b-e-a-u-Ti-Ful.
>
> I was thinking if the name is short enough to possibly put it on a personalized plate. ( My current plate is 1VanGo. Which won’t work anymore ☹ bummer)
>
> The first name that struck me , citing big, black and beautiful is **Lula** for the character of the same name from the Stephanie Plum novels. Which is even funnier as I am white (ok, more of a blush), live in the sticks and no one but Plum fans would get it.
>
> Remember baby, this isn’t about fab prizes, its about \* prestige.\* You haven’t had any of that lately _cough_if ever_cough_ and if you did have it you wouldn’t be here slumming, loser. and it can’t be bought on eBay. This is your chance at immortality.
>
> This name will be on this car until I drive it off its axels. ( Probably a week, but more than likely at least 10 years.)
>
> The small print: I reserve the right to be the final arbiter of naming my truck. It is also in consideration of if the DMV approves of said name for the plate. (the bastiges.) Other rules and restrictions will apply if I ever think of them.
---
### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/3 "2004-07-28T23:57:29Z")
Hmmm. 8 characters, right?
ILVCLDFR
C’mon, admit it. I win.
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/4 "2004-07-29T00:00:17Z")
Oh, it’s 7. Hmmm.
Well, it’s a huge Suburban.
NEEDGAS 🙂
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### Author:  [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/5 "2004-07-29T00:06:07Z")
I think a simple “DOPER” would work well.
Perhaps too well.
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### Author:  [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/6 "2004-07-29T00:15:29Z")
Subrural
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### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/7 "2004-07-29T00:29:56Z")
Sherman?
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### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/8 "2004-07-29T00:44:41Z")
Cecilgod
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/9 "2004-07-29T00:46:56Z")
Dear Mr. Coldfire,
The liscense plate _IlvCldfr_ is reserved for your wife.
Anyother female or gay type using this will result in a possible bitch slapping by **Heloise**
The following are available for anyone who is not your wife to proudly put on their bumper:
**Cldysux**
Thank you for your attention in this matter.
Signed,
The International Department of Motor Vehicles.
---
### Author:  [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/10 "2004-07-29T00:59:28Z")
COMPNS8N
It’d be funnier if you were a middle aged guy, but hey…
Alternately
STR8DOPE
or
BIGANDBLK
or
HOTMAMA
or
DOPELADY
although i bet that last one won’t fly…
-P
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### Author:  [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/11 "2004-07-29T02:00:54Z")
My pet name for the Suburban is **Bus-urban** , so perhaps **TheBus** would work. Also good are Behemoth, Lummox, and “Building That Has Wheels”. Or how about “Betty”, short for “Bete-noir”?
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/12 "2004-07-29T02:12:42Z")
MoHammer
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/13 "2004-07-29T02:15:21Z")
Okay, **MOHAMMER** or…
**HUMMTHIS**.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/14 "2004-07-29T02:36:45Z")
Ooooh, these are all good.
So far my favs are: **NeedGas** and **HumThis** Hee, I love both of these equally.
I was thinking I could do something on the sly with slang:
**Bollcks** or **Shite** (or 5h1t3 as it were in leet speek) I wonder what other Yurp slang I could do?
\*\*Frk Dope \*\* for Fark and Straight Dope. ( Though, in fairness, when I got my last liscense plate, I had a list of 15 names or so, an nothing with SDMB, Dope, or Str8dp even made the cut. The bastiges.)
Even something funny like **In Debt** or **Stil Payn.**
Keep them coming!
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/15 "2004-07-29T02:46:57Z")
Seein’ as we don’t live in the same state, maybe you could copy mine…
**PEKRHEAD**.
Then again, **Shirley** , it probably outta fit.
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### Author:  [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/16 "2004-07-29T02:47:22Z")
**Paid4**
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/17 "2004-07-29T02:55:55Z")
Lieu…heh…why not just make it more streamline with **Knob** 🙂
Paid4. hah! I wish.
I was thinking of **NoDough**
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### Author:  [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/18 "2004-07-29T02:57:41Z")
Pamgrier
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### Author:  [@Spezza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spezza)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/19 "2004-07-29T03:17:00Z")
Reading this thread I feel like I’m on _Bumper Stumpers_.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contest-name-my-new-car-win-absolutely-nothing/257343/20 "2004-07-29T03:36:34Z")
**NoMoney**
**Broke**
**My Pony**
**Bertha** She can’t be a Sherman.
Suburban **Hmatoma** 🙂 If I were a doctor, that would be funny.
**Taxi**
**Hotnblk**
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