# "Contraband bologna" should be an oxymoron **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2017, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541 "2017-12-04T14:23:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/1 "2017-12-04T14:23:13Z")
Yet somehow, [it isn’t](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/contraband-bologna-seized-us-mexico-border/?ftag=COS-05-10aaa0g). > [@](#): > > A woman was driving into the U.S. through the Paso Del Norte crossing when she told U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) agents that she wasn’t carrying fruits, vegetables, meat or other contraband, officials said. > > She then told the agents that she was carrying sausage and officials said they found 227 pounds of Mexican bologna stashed under floor mats in the vehicle. :walks away, shaking head: ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/2 "2017-12-04T14:37:44Z")
I was _so_ hoping the article would mention the floor mat brand name. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/3 "2017-12-04T15:08:12Z")
> [@CBSNews](#): > > Bologna is considered contraband because of its potential to introduce foreign diseases into the U.S. pork industry, according to the CBP. Just how does that happen? Do pigs eat bologna? Do they get the crusts cut off of their sandwiches, too? Do the cows get mad if Mama Pig packs them milk in their lunchbox? Do they socialize with it at [del]school[/del] farm dances & sneak off behind the barn when the [del]teacher[/del] farmer isn’t looking? Don’t they know to use a lambskin for protection? ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/4 "2017-12-04T16:30:50Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Contraband Bologna Band name! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/5 "2017-12-04T18:16:17Z")
227 lbs? Damn! That’s a lot of bologna! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/6 "2017-12-04T18:45:18Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > 227 lbs? Damn! That’s a lot of bologna! Do they allow small amounts for personal consumption? I’m sure that was all just for personal consumption, right? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/7 "2017-12-04T19:15:01Z")
One of my good friends is married to an Italian. As in, grew up in Italy. Not someone whose great-grand parents came to the US from Italy. Anyway, the last time they were over there, they “smuggled” some of the real stuff back in their luggage (I don’t know what the stuff was actually called, but it was something like a salami). I say smuggled because apparently the process they’ve been using there for thousands of years isn’t good enough to meet the high standards of the US. Something about not being cooked or whatever. Anyway, I had some when I was over at their house and it was out of this world good. And I didn’t even die or anything!! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/8 "2017-12-04T20:40:10Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Just how does that happen? > > Do pigs eat bologna? Do they get the crusts cut off of their sandwiches, too? Do the cows get mad if Mama Pig packs them milk in their lunchbox? > Do they socialize with it at [del]school[/del] farm dances & sneak off behind the barn when the [del]teacher[/del] farmer isn’t looking? Don’t they know to use a lambskin for protection? The official story is that it’s to prevent diseases from entering the United States. Unofficially, American livestock producers prefer it when they don’t have to compete with foreign livestock producers. But they can’t prohibit foreign meat from entering the country because of free trade agreements. However there’s a loophole - the United States can’t prohibit foreign meat from entering the country because of commercial considerations but they can prohibit foreign meat from entering the country if they cite a health concern. The result is the American government sets a really low standard on what constitutes a health hazard when it comes to importing meat that would otherwise be competing with American meat. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/9 "2017-12-04T20:53:22Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Do they allow small amounts for personal consumption? I’m sure that was all just for personal consumption, right? No they do not. We had a 4 oz packet of ham confiscated at the US border when returning from Mexico. They’re serious about the possible disease issue but I have no idea how this particular disease is transmitted since the ham we had had been cured and cooked and packaged in a sealed packet. Huh. Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/10 "2017-12-04T21:09:41Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > I have no idea how this particular **disease** is transmitted since the ham we had had been **cured** … Are you _sure_ it was cured, or was it just feeling better ? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/11 "2017-12-04T21:11:03Z")
This is the first occasion I’ve encountered where the phrase, “Hide the Baloney” is legitimate. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/12 "2017-12-04T22:23:57Z")
Not to be confused with _counterfeit_ bologna, a.k.a. phoney baloney. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/13 "2017-12-04T22:25:10Z")
Nice! ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/14 "2017-12-04T22:32:59Z")
Some people lead lives that I truly cannot comprehend. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2017, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/15 "2017-12-04T23:06:56Z")
Let’s not forget Faux Scrapple. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2017, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/16 "2017-12-05T02:29:02Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > No they do not. We had a 4 oz packet of ham confiscated at the US border when returning from Mexico. They’re serious about the possible disease issue but I have no idea how this particular disease is transmitted since the ham we had had been cured and cooked and packaged in a sealed packet. Huh. Who knew? Would they have allowed you to eat the ham there on the spot before entering? The closest experience I had along these lines was in driving from Oregon into California. They stopped me at the border, where I confessed that I had an apple, which they said I could not bring in. I asked if I could pull into a nearby parking area and eat the apple on the spot. They let me do that. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2017, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/17 "2017-12-05T20:51:57Z")
So you smuggled an apple in your digestive tract?! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2017, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/18 "2017-12-06T01:05:22Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > So you smuggled an apple in your digestive tract?! :eek: Yes I did that. But I did it openly, right in front of the border guard, and he was okay with that. That little $50 note I slipped him may have been helpful. I’d have hated to let that apple go to waste. Apparently it’s only really the apple core that’s contraband. I had to leave that behind in a nearby trash can. ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/19 "2017-12-06T02:10:54Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Yes I did that. But I did it openly, right in front of the border guard, and he was okay with that. That little $50 note I slipped him may have been helpful. I’d have hated to let that apple go to waste. > > Apparently it’s only really the apple core that’s contraband. I had to leave that behind in a nearby trash can. \*Apple core… Baltimore… Who’s your friend…? … - ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2017, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541/20 "2017-12-06T02:19:35Z")
> [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](#): > > \*Apple core… > Baltimore… > Who’s your friend…? > … > > - Border guard. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contraband-bologna-should-be-an-oxymoron/803541.md?page=2)